Blog Entries by Nicole

I saw this question posted on our site today:

Do you think porn has affected the people around you?

And all the wives shout: YES!

My husband's addiction has certainly affected me and our entire family. It has affected our marriage, our finances, and our relationships with family members and friends. And it has changed me. At first...

I love the first two chapters of Genesis. Who doesn't like new things, fresh starts, or new beginnings? In these two chapters God creates everything and sets it all on its course the way it should be. The way it was created to be. The way it was intended to be. That includes men and women. There is something so intimate about the creation of...

The question “Why Porn” has been asked on this site for the past week. It's an excellent question, really. I know that it's a question I've asked a million times. I've asked myself “why porn” during lots of sleepless nights and anxious days. I've asked my husband, I've asked my friends and support people, and I certainly asked God. I'm sure...

Today marks the start of a new year. A new decade, in fact. When I look back over the past 10 years I can hardly recognize who I was then. Ten years ago we were staring out in our young marriage. I had no idea that my husband struggled with an addiction to pornography. I had no idea that this secret addiction would become part of our marriage...

When my husband and I were in the early stages of recovery I took great comfort from hearing stories of other people who were in challenging situations and whose marriages were restored. It helped me to know that I was not alone. In those days I didn't think that the messages of the Advent season, themes of hope and peace and restoration, were...

I've said many times that in the beginning of our recovery journey I was looking for the cure. I didn't care about meetings, or accountability, or groups. All I wanted was to find the magic bullet that would end the pain, return everything to what I thought was normal, and allow me to act as if none of the awful things that my husband had done...

Today is Thanksgiving in the States. A day for eating turkey, watching American football, and most importantly for reflecting on all that we are thankful for. I am thankful for so many things, but I am especially thankful for my husband, who has embraced the recovery journey and for the God who has seen us through it. 

I remember years...

The darkest days of our marriage were the first few months after I learned that my husband had committed adultery. I had been well aware of his struggle with pornography but had been made to believe that it was “under control”. Over a year had passed since I had last discovered porn on his computer and I had come to believe that this scary,...

We all have a story. I do, you do, my weird neighbor who shovels the snow off of his lawn does – we all have a story. Over the years I have become very comfortable sharing our story of sexual addiction; the story of my husband's transgressions, my responses, and God's grace. I didn’t used to be comfortable sharing our story. I thought that my...

It has become so common for me to read many responses to a blog post of mine from women who feel that they are unable to share the struggle of their husband's addiction with another trusted friend. I experienced the same feeling when my husband's addiction was first made known to me. I had many reasons for wanting to keep this a secret. I...