Advice
I stumbled across this website and it looks like it is really helping some poeple get over things that has happened with or to them in the past. I thank God for things like this and I hope that I also can recieve some closure from confessing what I am about to, since I have never told anybody this.
When I was very little, about 5years old, I can remember me and my brother (he is 18 months younger than me) "playing" with each other. It was obviously very innocent because we did not know what we were doing. But we had to have seen it somewhere and I do not know where. Anyway, years later, after my parents divorce, it happened again. Me and my brother used to give each other oral sex when we were aroused. It happened on and off for about three or four years. It never went further than that and when we went to seperate schools it stopped. That was about 12 years ago and we are both very much grown up now. We live very normal lives and do not seem to carry any effects from that time. Me and my brother see one another often and we get along just fine. I am happily married and he has just returned from the UK to come live and work in SA. We get along well and on the surface everything is great. I have asked God for forgiveness and I know that he has forgiven me, but I can not help but think that maybe my brother has not forgiven me. He does not say anything about it, but still I think I need closure. I am too scared to talk to him about it. I know that he is a Christian and he has probably handled this problem in his own way with God, but I can't help but feel guilty.I love him very much and I would hate to think that I had any detrimental effect on his life through what we did when we were young. Am I a very bad person or should I just forget about it and get on with my life? Please give me some advice!
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
So God has used that experience for the His glory because now I can help others whom have had similar experiences and or struggle with various related things.
Now has far as what you should do. For of all I believe you need to shed off the condemnation and shame that has come over you regarding this issue. So in the name of Jesus Christ I rebuke Satan and his angels regarding you and this issue. For you are a child of God and he has now reign over you. You alone are justified by God and He has passed on His forgiveness to you. He only has sanctified you through and through by His love, mercy and grace. Amen!
Second, you said your brother is a Christian as well, so I think what you need to do is have a talk with him. Maybe not as blood brothers but as spiritual brothers, this was a spiritual act that was committed (involving physical acting out but sex is always spiritual). So to be coming to him as a brother in Christ and to open your arms out and ask for forgiveness could indeed in my opinion not only bring closure for you but also closure for him. And on the plus side as well it would probably grow both of you closer together, even more so that you are now.
I pray that God through His Holy Spirit will just give you the guidance, the right words and knowledge to be able to step out into this kind of conversation with your brother. I also pray that He gives you the strength to be able to do so and your brother the kindness and mercy to be able to forgive and work things out with you.
Grace and Peace to you
Joshua
