Scared out of my mind!!!

This last week has been a gigantic roller coaster of emotions. I am a youth pastor who has been candidating for a church for 3 months. The church is incredible and the people there are full of the spirit. I have also felt that the Holy Spirit has set my life in line for everything I want and need. I have a beautiful girlfriend who will be joining me in my home state soon. I have been booked at this church for a fulltime youth pastor position. I have everything that I need.

But tonight something bad happened. I went from porn to chat for the first time. It started going down the blvd. Then I realized very abruptly that I was making a huge mistake. A life wrecking mistake. So here I am... Scared... affraid that I am in trouble from God. That he is going to stomp my dream that I have been passionatly pursuing for years and years. I know I have a problem and tonight I downloaded X3Watch. I would NEVER do anything with any girl outside of the bonds of marrage. NEVER!!! I hate that I look at porn. I hate that I look at these women for my gratification. Please LORD forgive me and change this curse into a blessing. Technically I am a virgin even though I have a problem with masturbation. I know that I have to get this porn problem under control before I get into real trouble. If I am not already. Please everyone pray for me and my new ministry. My future wife and FREEDOM from this sick, twisted, problem that I and many of you have.

I have been involved in viewing porn for years but never have I been this scared. God Help Me!!!

Gee wrote on August 11th 08 at 01:00PM

I am praying for your brother. Always know that GOD doesn’t take anything good away from his children, so anytime you have fear know that it is not of or from GOD. Know we can delay our blessings because of our disobedience, but GOD is so faithful that despite our faults he continues to bless us. satan does a very good job of getting us to totally focus on what's wrong and not on the goodness and strength in Christ. I have only one suggestion if you have not already before you get married you and you future wife must share these secrets. Communication is key, I too was a virgin when I married, but had major problems with masturbation and porn, I shared all my faults with my wife so that she and I would know how to pray for each other, also if I fall to porn I let her know. Lastly change your struggle to a fight. I am currently telling my testimony to get others delivered and I must tell you satan wants to lay claim to my life and am choosing to view what looks like a struggle to a fight, that I remind GOD that his word says that the battle is not mine but his. So it's no longer a struggle but a fight that I will win in Jesus Name.