Frustrated.....

I discovered after almost a year of marriage that my husband had a porn addiction. Not only that but I also found emails between him and two of his ex-girlfriends. One email was really dirty and the other was more on the romantic side. I confronted him about it and he confessed. We got some parental control software and he agreed to stop all contact with his exes. As far as I know he has done well with not contacting any of his ex-girlfriends and letting me know whenever they tried contacting him. He did well with the porn for awhile but a few months ago I discovered he was back at it. He ended up telling me about it the night I discovered it. He said he was going to try harder. Well he stopped looking specifically at porn sites but started going onto websites and looking at pictures of celebrities and watching music videos that had scantily clad girls in them. I definitely felt that he wasn't really "trying" and was more just trying to get around our parental control software without me knowing. I confronted him yet again, saying that I understood it was hard but I wasn't sure how hard he was really trying. I told him I knew he would make mistakes but I wanted him to be open and honest with me when those things happened so that I could support him and we could work through it together. He told me he would really start trying and for a while he did. But just this morning I discovered that he is now downloading porn on his cellphone. It just feels like he doesn't truly want to change. I'm really frustrated and hurt. I wish he would open up more.

1dork wrote on September 23rd 08 at 03:52PM

That is me. My wife does not know. I love her more than she even knows. I have dreams that she finds out and leaves me. I would die if that happend. I can't explain it but it is so hard to shake. We do try. And for me it kills me to do it.

Lauren wrote on October 3rd 08 at 07:33AM

Thank you for commenting!! My husband has helped me to understand a little of how hard it is to deal with this sin. Though I know I can never fully understand, from what he has told me, I can see that it must be very difficult for him and for all people who struggle with it. I understand your fear in telling your wife. She might be more understanding than you think though. My husband too has dreams that I will just get fed up and leave him. It has been a year and I haven't left him. There is hope for you and your wife. Being as you are in a committed marriage together and are sharing your lives with each other it is her right to know. Wouldn't you rather she possibly choose to stay with you and know how much she truly loves you, sin and all, instead of hiding something from her? It will be a much better outcome if you tell her than her discovering it on her own. Things have gotten better with my husband because we have begun fully trusting in God and going to him daily in prayer. I pray everyday that God would guard my husband against this sin and slowly free him from this stronghold. I will pray for you and your wife.