Beating myself up

I've been beating myself up since I became a Christian a little over two years ago. In fact, I became a Christian shortly after hearing Craig Gross speak at a CIY event.

I've promised myself so many times never to do it again. Every time I fall down. I tried to do the "40 Days" things, but never got passed 14, most times I fell after 3 days.

The devil knows that my addiction to porn, gay porn at that, keeps me from spreading the gospel. It's my weakness, actually. How can I tell others about being a Christian, when I can't even break my addiction to porn?

I've tried X3Watch, which is great software and all, but being a computer geek, I was able to disable it within 30 minutes of wanting too, and I found a half dozen ways to get around it within the first 24 hours (without disabling it). I'm not going at this alone, either. I have 4 accountability partners, all of which I trust complete, and I have no problem talking to them.

I'm in pain, beating myself up (mentally, spiritually?). I feel worthless, and after 5 years, I want nothing to do with it.