Delivered!

I've been raised in a Christian family all my life... I became addicted to masturbation at a young age... before I knew what it was, in fact. By the time I realized what I was doing, I felt like it was too late to change anything. Eventually, I started looking at porn and my life just became so much worse. But the worst part was that it was all a secret. It seemed like I could never tell ANYONE since you never hear of girls being addicted to porn. It ate away at me... I hated the lifestyle I was living and I tried so hard to get right... I went to church, I read my Bible... I went to retreats and camps, but nothing worked. Worse than that, I felt horrible because everyone thought I was pure since I'd never dated anyone, kissed anyone, etc. But really I was drinking from the sewage pipe of sin... and I thought I couldn't stop. Anyway, this summer I ended up going to a conference called 220 in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. There I came face to face with the crucified Jesus Christ and experienced more brokenness than ever before. I was shown by God through Pastor Joel that if you're not getting delivered from something, it's because you like it. If you want to be a disciple of God, no one can stop you. But if you want to live in sin, no one can stop you from doing that either. When there is a want, there is a way. God totally wrecked my life that week and truly gave me a new heart with new desires... and I realized that I must feed my spirit and build my Spirit man up DAILY in order to stay FAR away from sin. I experienced God's presence so much that week... and it's something I've truly become addicted to. When King David in the Bible sinned by committing adultery with Bathsheba, he wrote afterward the verse, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away, O Lord, and take not thy Holy Spirit from me." David had experienced the presence of God before, and he was crying out in this verse for God not to take away the Holy Spirit from him. That's truly become my heart's desire... God, never take your presence from me!!! The other part of this scripture that I think is awesome is "Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit in me." The Bible tells us to renew our minds with the Word. When you allow God to have His way in your life, he will begin by not only changing your actions, He'll change your thought life. Actions begin in the heart. When you're truly a sanctified Christian, you'll have clean hands AND a pure heart. Not just clean hands to show off for people to see how "holy" you are, but clean hands that are the RESULT of a pure heart. God really can restore your purity and innocence... there's this song that goes "When I'm with my Daddy, my innocence is restored." That song really ministers to me... I just think of little children playing with their daddy... they're innocent, they haven't been so contaminated by the world and its ways... and that's how God wants us to be... innocent. I never even thought innocence could be restored, but it has been in my life. I don't even notice sexual innuendos anymore. Seriously, God has made a new creation out of me and I'll be forever grateful... you'll get another post from me a year from now saying that I've kept the faith and never fallen back into sexual sin. I'm never turning back, no matter what it costs me. It cost my Savior his life on the cross to give me redemption, so I'm taking it and running with it! I remember looking at this website a few months ago, wishing that I could be free from the sin that so entangled me... and I am!! I encourage you, seek the face of God and don't be afraid to be broken... God truly can and will change every area of your life and keep you far away from sin... if you don't know where to start, PLEASE PLEASE check out the best ministry in the WORLD as far as I'm concerned... Bethany World Prayer Center under Pastor Joel Stockstill... go to their conferences... go to their church... listen to their podcast... do anything along those lines, I promise you won't be the same if you go to 220!! Their website is 220power.com ... I sound like an infomercial, but seriously, it's truly amazing what God is doing through that ministry... you'll hear the Word of God that will set you free!! Also, Judah Smith has a book about purity called Dating Delilah that I recommend highly!! I'm on the path of continued deliverance... and I'm never going back to where I used to be... I'm moving on forever!! I've been 3 months free!! God Bless you guys.