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Have fallen but not given up!
I "used" (Using this word tells me that now it's part of my past and not my present) to masturbate since i was very young...Don't even remember how i got into it. I started watching porn very little and playing the scenes with my dolls.As i got older found out more ways to satisfy miself..I got to need it so bad that i could do it almost everywhere. At first I just asked for forgiveness and move on and a couple of days do it again.And as more as I did it, I felt more quilty and disgusting and dirty, I just Felt horrible But now i feel how God has been working in me. and though sometimes I fall so hard, God helps me get back on my feetand gives me the strenght to move on. And though the temptations can be so hard sometimes, I try to remember that God said that He wouldn't put any situation on me that i couldn't overcome. So I'm getting closer with God even More.I tell you about this because sometimes we fall on sin, because we're not perfect but if we truly regret and ask for God's forgiveness, He will forgive us and help us start all over again. Thank you God for washing my sins away! Help me get clean for You
Discipleofgod2007 wrote on August 19th 08 at 01:59AM
Keep up the good work. Be a good soldier for Christ and endure the hardships.
Jesblood117 wrote on August 19th 08 at 02:27PM
Listen brother to my words. I don't know what individual steps you are taking in Christ to get free, but I would like to share some of mine that set me free. Yes free. I'm free no longer to be tempted, turned on, or intrigued. I had been crying out to the Lord for roughly 10 years. Constantly in pain from hurting him and defying him. I would do the same as you. I would fall then cry in my heart for his forgiveness. This is a good sign. It shows you have a genuine desire to get free. But I will be honest with you. The road ahead may or may not be difficult depending on the specific circumstances of your addiction. In the circumstances of mine I learned the most powerful tool against the devil and my addiction. This weapon forged against the enemy is heavily fought and suppressed in the community and churches everywhere. It's confession. Now please understand me, I'm not speaking of just confessing out loud to God privately nor am I speaking of only writting in to an anonamous blog. I'm speaking of the scriptures; confess one to another. We've all heard and read it, but few of us ever practice it. Why? Because the devil has convinced us of embarassment. And don't get me wrong it is embarassing. But thats the point. It sets you free because you expose yourself to his light. You come walking out of the desert of darkness into the father's brighly lit bonfire. Once you do this everyone circling in the darkness, afraid to aproach, will potentially see you. You will even finally see yourself. That you are naked and disgusting before him. However, God's light will shine on you burning away the chaff and then he will reach out and cloth your nakedness because he loves you. He wishes to cloth all, but few will follow your example. Fortunatly some will. They will see you be courageous and take a stand before him. They will be encouraged. Now the question is who should I confess to the moment I screwup? Well you'll have to ask God who he wants you to tell. Beleive me the more embarassing the better. Would you like to know who God chose for me? Alright I'll tell you. My future fiance. Oh yeah it was embarassing. I can't even begin to tell you how embarassing. What was worse was the last boyfriend she had got mad at her one night because she refused to sleep with him and watched a porno right in front of her and did the deed. Oh yeah not good. When she found out she was horrified. I cried. She got mad. Real mad! But I trusted the Lord and she suprised me by forgiving me. I was shocked. From then on every time I messed up I went and told her. (I giving you the short version) I messed up big and small, but in the end she gave me a safe place to confess and God's unfalling love was in her. She forgave me everytime. The more I confessed the easier it got. The more the addiction died. It became weaker and weaker. Until finally I was on the edge of being free, but then I hit a plateau. I just couldn't finish the last leg of the race. Then God called me to do something that scared me nearly to death. He told me to go take responsibility for something I did in my deep past as a kid. I had to apologize to two people I convinced to be sexually active with me in my childhood. A girl and a boy. These were at diffrent times, not together. I was shaking literally in place when he told me I would have to tell them I was sorry. I thought oh God please no, no not that. Anything but that please. What it came down to was I had to be willing to obey God's commands to be free. I had to have a will that said, "What ever it takes I'm going to be free!" Later it made obvious sense, it was his commands that I broke that got me into this mess in the first place. So in the end I trusted the Lord that these two would forgive me and if they didn't then I knew God would comfort me somehow. Well I'm happy to say that they did! In fact one of the two kept thanking me for apologizing. I was blown away. He told me that what we did had haunted him eversince it happened. Now I don't know if you believe in demonic oppression, but I definitly do. I'm not kidding, as soon as I finished apologizing to the last of the two I felt this THING slither out my neck from the right side. It spoked the crap out of me! But after that moment I felt a huge weight disappear. Just like that it was gone. What I'm trying to tell you is that these things can hold on indeffinetly unless we are willing to expose them and ourselves to God as he specifically commands us. I'm not saying your road will be like mine, but it might. Look im not lying to you it was the scariest experience of my life, but I would gladly do it all over again. Silence and secrets are DEADLIY! Confess to the one God chooses for you. They will act as his representative just like my fiance. And believe me you'll know your confessing to God and not them. The tears will prove that I speak the truth. All I have left to say is do not be afraid. Obey him and you'll get out. If you don't obey him when he instructs you on how to get out then you will hold on to those THINGS swimming around on the inside. God got me through it. He can get you through it too.
P.S. = read Psalms 25 over and over again until your free. It helped me on my journey. Also I recommend you go to audio-bible.com and try listening to it as well as reading it.
Love you brother. May Lord lead you out of darkness as he did me. AMEN.
P.S. = read Psalms 25 over and over again until your free. It helped me on my journey. Also I recommend you go to audio-bible.com and try listening to it as well as reading it.
Love you brother. May Lord lead you out of darkness as he did me. AMEN.
Roger wrote on September 7th 08 at 05:56PM
Dear "Have Fallen..."
When you were a little baby and you were learning to walk, did you fall? Did you fall a lot? Yup!!!
Eventually, walking was second nature to you.
The same with walking from the dark to the light. Once you DECIDE to move to the light, you are reborn. But know that you're not going to just get up and make a run for it.
Set yourself up for success. If you were going to bake cookies, you'd have to get the right ingredients, put them together in the right order, preheat the oven, bake them a certain amount of time, monitor their progress, let them cool.
There are specific STEPS that you have to take for your cookies to come out right. Same with your freedom from porn.
Look at where, when and why you fall. Is your computer or whatever you use easy to get to. Create space between you and the nasty place!
Plan different activities at the time you are most likely to fall. Call friends. Do something physical - chores, play, exercise, helping a friend.
Make an effort to spend less time alone. If you can't be with a friend or a family member, make a small choice to be with God. Get out a Bible. Listen to a podcast from xxxchurch or from any church. Write. Get a hobby.
Porn is a bad habit. It's really hard to just quit. Replace a bad habit with a good one. Take one of my suggestions and use it this week. Make a choice to do that instead of porn. At the end of the week, you'll feel so much better.
You CAN do this. We are here for you.
When you were a little baby and you were learning to walk, did you fall? Did you fall a lot? Yup!!!
Eventually, walking was second nature to you.
The same with walking from the dark to the light. Once you DECIDE to move to the light, you are reborn. But know that you're not going to just get up and make a run for it.
Set yourself up for success. If you were going to bake cookies, you'd have to get the right ingredients, put them together in the right order, preheat the oven, bake them a certain amount of time, monitor their progress, let them cool.
There are specific STEPS that you have to take for your cookies to come out right. Same with your freedom from porn.
Look at where, when and why you fall. Is your computer or whatever you use easy to get to. Create space between you and the nasty place!
Plan different activities at the time you are most likely to fall. Call friends. Do something physical - chores, play, exercise, helping a friend.
Make an effort to spend less time alone. If you can't be with a friend or a family member, make a small choice to be with God. Get out a Bible. Listen to a podcast from xxxchurch or from any church. Write. Get a hobby.
Porn is a bad habit. It's really hard to just quit. Replace a bad habit with a good one. Take one of my suggestions and use it this week. Make a choice to do that instead of porn. At the end of the week, you'll feel so much better.
You CAN do this. We are here for you.
