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I'm Done, I Swear
Greetings brothers and sister,
I swear to you on this day August 19th 2008, that I am done with this habit that is pornography and masturbation. I make this vow in front of all of you so that you can see and be witnesses to this testament.
I am a 19 year old male and I have struggled with this habit since I was 10 or so. So it has been around a 9 year uphill battle for me. I think I am at the point in my life where I either stop now, or struggle forever with this awful temptation. Don't get me wrong I know that what I am doing is morally reprehensible but I can't stop myself, until I called upon God for his strength. I need him to help me through this.
I know I can't do this alone but seeing this website has, I believe, given me the strength and courage to win this fight over temptation. Now that I know I'm not alone in my struggle (as I didn't realize how many people have similar issues) I will rise up and strike down this temptation.
I swear before all of you today is the end for this habit. I swear before both you and God that I will do my best to lead a morally righteous life. Peace in Christ, pray for me that I will overcome this addiction, as I pray for the others that have the same temptation that I do.
Peace.
Rob wrote on August 23rd 08 at 11:39PM
Sounds like you are still going to try to go it alone. I understand your struggles, and you seem sincere. But you need some real live man-to-man accountability or it won't last. Maybe you already have found that out. God wants you to take this vertically to Him, but he also wants you to take it horizontally to another person or two. Careful with women...most don't understand. Maybe this website will help you find a local, spiritually mature accountability partner who can help you. Also, maybe you can help other younger men who struggle also. Being honest, transparent, and vulnerable about this struggle will bring a type of respect that others will look up to. God Bless you and make sure you also replace the bad stuff with something good. Don't just leave a void or it will fill up with the bad stuff again.
J.C. wrote on August 25th 08 at 02:35PM
Ive been struggling with masturbation for 28 years since the age of 11. . .it "progressed" from softporn to hardcore and now. .with the internet here - sexual temptation is taking out an entire generation. .Pray that God will actually allow me to marry rather than to have some sort of epic battle with porn lasting for years to come. .I reckon marriage will do the job. .I intellectually believe Jesus died for my sins but the breakthrough against porn seems so elusive.
Roger wrote on September 6th 08 at 05:32AM
To the original poster, congrats on your decision. Just know that porn will always be there. Take it day by day. If today is clean, clean yesterdays will accumulate. Don't worry about tomorrow. Focus on today.
To J.C. - I know where you've been. I'm praying for you. You did the right thing by coming here. Come back.
I've been a porn addict a lot longer than you. I finally found sobriety. I'll forever be in recovery. 90% of the time, I'd be fine. Then, I'd slip. The problem that most addicts face is that they are trying to play football without a helmet. You need to come up with ways to defend yourself. Have a game plan.
I have a phrase I like to use: Put space between you and the nasty place. You nailed it. Porn is so insidious because it is so easy to get to. Knowing that, you have to look at yourself and come up with a good defense.
Proverbs 7 basically says, stay off the bad girl's street. When you feel tempted to punch in a porn site, get up from the computer and walk around for five minutes. Don't turn onto that street. It's so hard to turn back at that point. So think of ways to avoid the street.
First step is, if you have a stash or collection, you have to destroy it. An alcoholic cannot recover if they have a bottle of Jack Daniels in their hand.
If you have subs to sites, cancel them. Block, delete or junk filter any incoming emails. If you have online porn buddies, wish them well and let them go.
For things to change, you have to change.
God is the only one that can make a seed grow. Your job is to prepare the soil. You do that by planning ahead. First step is to clear your mind. I didn't get sober until I started listening to podcasts from this site and podcasts of sermons from a couple churches. I found it real hard to want to pull up a porn site after listening to a great sermon. I put space between me and the nasty place. I took control of the thoughts in my mind.
If there is a certain time of day you act out, plan something different for that time and make it permanent.
Porn and masturbation addiction are like building a wall to protect your "Dirty Little Secret". You separate yourself from God, your family, your friends. You wind up feeling isolated. You fear getting caught. You develop plans to cover your tracks. Pretty soon, that wall is looking pretty big. And you despair that it will never come down.
Make a choice today to hook onto God and God's Word and sites like this and start building a wall between you and porn. For every brick you put between you and porn, two will come off the one you built between you and God (and the rest of the world). Eventually, it falls like Jericho.
All you have to focus on is the NEXT TIME. Get through that and there is more distance between the LAST TIME. Try to get through a day. Do that and you can put a clean day in your Yesterday file.
You'll also have to work on letting your past go. I know, it can feel like this monster burden that you have to carry around all the time. Let it go. As of this moment, you are clean. Ask for forgiveness and you are forgiven, immediately.
I really want to caution you to not rely on a marriage changing you. I had porn hurt two marriages. If you want a great marriage, work on your addiction now. You CAN do this. Become the person you've dreamed about. Become the person that you only saw through tears and prayers.
It is a choice to change. Come here for support. Get some accountability software going and get an accountability partner.
Thanks so much for sharing. This is a great place to do that. You are NOT alone.
To J.C. - I know where you've been. I'm praying for you. You did the right thing by coming here. Come back.
I've been a porn addict a lot longer than you. I finally found sobriety. I'll forever be in recovery. 90% of the time, I'd be fine. Then, I'd slip. The problem that most addicts face is that they are trying to play football without a helmet. You need to come up with ways to defend yourself. Have a game plan.
I have a phrase I like to use: Put space between you and the nasty place. You nailed it. Porn is so insidious because it is so easy to get to. Knowing that, you have to look at yourself and come up with a good defense.
Proverbs 7 basically says, stay off the bad girl's street. When you feel tempted to punch in a porn site, get up from the computer and walk around for five minutes. Don't turn onto that street. It's so hard to turn back at that point. So think of ways to avoid the street.
First step is, if you have a stash or collection, you have to destroy it. An alcoholic cannot recover if they have a bottle of Jack Daniels in their hand.
If you have subs to sites, cancel them. Block, delete or junk filter any incoming emails. If you have online porn buddies, wish them well and let them go.
For things to change, you have to change.
God is the only one that can make a seed grow. Your job is to prepare the soil. You do that by planning ahead. First step is to clear your mind. I didn't get sober until I started listening to podcasts from this site and podcasts of sermons from a couple churches. I found it real hard to want to pull up a porn site after listening to a great sermon. I put space between me and the nasty place. I took control of the thoughts in my mind.
If there is a certain time of day you act out, plan something different for that time and make it permanent.
Porn and masturbation addiction are like building a wall to protect your "Dirty Little Secret". You separate yourself from God, your family, your friends. You wind up feeling isolated. You fear getting caught. You develop plans to cover your tracks. Pretty soon, that wall is looking pretty big. And you despair that it will never come down.
Make a choice today to hook onto God and God's Word and sites like this and start building a wall between you and porn. For every brick you put between you and porn, two will come off the one you built between you and God (and the rest of the world). Eventually, it falls like Jericho.
All you have to focus on is the NEXT TIME. Get through that and there is more distance between the LAST TIME. Try to get through a day. Do that and you can put a clean day in your Yesterday file.
You'll also have to work on letting your past go. I know, it can feel like this monster burden that you have to carry around all the time. Let it go. As of this moment, you are clean. Ask for forgiveness and you are forgiven, immediately.
I really want to caution you to not rely on a marriage changing you. I had porn hurt two marriages. If you want a great marriage, work on your addiction now. You CAN do this. Become the person you've dreamed about. Become the person that you only saw through tears and prayers.
It is a choice to change. Come here for support. Get some accountability software going and get an accountability partner.
Thanks so much for sharing. This is a great place to do that. You are NOT alone.
