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running out of hope...
I'm struggling, badly.
I cant seem to control myself.
Every time I sit on the computer, the same thoughts go through my head.
Porn.
I try to say no and leave.. but i always seem to come back.
I pray every night, asking God to take it away and make it stop. Everything I do and try doesn't seem good enough.
It overpowers me like a wave I can't swim away from.
Please, i need to stop this. Can anyone help me.
I don't know where else to go...
please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scott wrote on August 19th 08 at 01:02AM
Dear Running,
don't give up hope. I have been in your situation many times myself...wondering why I can't just turn the thoughts of porn off. I understand that your mind is craving the rush you get from looking, and that you think a little looking will satisfy you. If you have a pastor or trusted friend (same gender), tell them about your problem. Get more people involved; this will not go away today, but every little step will get you farther away from it, even when you do stumble. There are people who care, and I think you have come to the right place for help.
don't give up hope. I have been in your situation many times myself...wondering why I can't just turn the thoughts of porn off. I understand that your mind is craving the rush you get from looking, and that you think a little looking will satisfy you. If you have a pastor or trusted friend (same gender), tell them about your problem. Get more people involved; this will not go away today, but every little step will get you farther away from it, even when you do stumble. There are people who care, and I think you have come to the right place for help.
clara wrote on August 20th 08 at 06:59AM
First of all i want to sayyou are not defeated or helpless . This is a tool of satan that he gets you to believe that. The power of the cross has defeated satan and every sin. You have the power through God inside you to stop this even though there may be stumbles along the way. You have a part to play in deciding that you have the power through christ to overcome this through prayer and his word , that your not gonna let satan win the battle for your heart and mind and destroy your future. I agree with what scott said about getting an accountability partner/s to share with and cover you in prayer. Prayer in the power of God is our main weapon to overcome even if there are stumbles along the way. This is what a guy replied a week or so ago maybe this will help
I myself have been a man drunk in a world of his own fetish. I have gone places in my addiction that I never thought I would ever go. Remember my brother that you are not alone. There are many men in the Church that struggle with this.
Your honesty is a good thing. In means you want
to come to the light. Read 1John 1:5-10.
Jesus Christ is not a timid savior. He comes with power to call us His own. He does not look at the lust in the world, the lust in your and my heart, and say "if only that dark fetish wasn't there then I could really make use of that man". No, he comes to slay our idols, the bigger the better.
Christ is the fetish slayer. He loves to overcome giant sins in our life to prove his Righteous power.
I am now a married man walking in the chaste freedom of our Lord. (I honestly thought I would die a filthy porn addcit, overdosing on my own fetishes) If the Son sets you free you shall be free indeed. Take heart man and trust in Christ. He is able.
Praying for you
I myself have been a man drunk in a world of his own fetish. I have gone places in my addiction that I never thought I would ever go. Remember my brother that you are not alone. There are many men in the Church that struggle with this.
Your honesty is a good thing. In means you want
to come to the light. Read 1John 1:5-10.
Jesus Christ is not a timid savior. He comes with power to call us His own. He does not look at the lust in the world, the lust in your and my heart, and say "if only that dark fetish wasn't there then I could really make use of that man". No, he comes to slay our idols, the bigger the better.
Christ is the fetish slayer. He loves to overcome giant sins in our life to prove his Righteous power.
I am now a married man walking in the chaste freedom of our Lord. (I honestly thought I would die a filthy porn addcit, overdosing on my own fetishes) If the Son sets you free you shall be free indeed. Take heart man and trust in Christ. He is able.
Praying for you
Roger wrote on September 7th 08 at 07:26PM
Dear "Running..."
I have been right there where you are - with more addictions than just porn.
If you are driving a car in a snowstorm with NO WIPERS, you'll lose all hope and crash.
Right now, you have no wipers. You don't have a plan to free you from porn.
I used to have a gambling habit. And I live in Vegas. It went away when I stopped hanging out at casinos.
I used to have an alcohol addiction. It stopped when I made a choice not to go to bars.
I used to have a drug problem. It went away when I stopped hanging out with other people that also had a drug problem.
I used to feel so alone. Those feelings went away when I started hanging out with good people from church. Made REAL friends that really cared. I also discovered God's Word. Over time, I formed a relationship with Jesus. And now I'm never alone.
Porn, though, lingered. Why? Because the bar, the casino, the drugs and the solitude are RIGHT THERE - EVERY DAY.
I came up with a line: Put space between you and the nasty place.
Proverbs 7 tells us not to turn onto the bad girl's street. "Harmless" browsing is turning onto her street. The deed is only a few steps away. Know that and protect yourself from it.
You feel "drawn" to the porn. That is because when you are away from the computer or your stash you have not filled your mind with OTHER THOUGHTS.
I found listening to good thoughts helped me get clean. I downloaded all the podcasts from xxxchurch and listened to them when I work. I work at home alone. So I built a defensive pile of good thoughts BEFORE my most dangerous times to fall were approaching, in the afternoon. I downloaded sermons from www.centralchristian.com and www.canyonridge.org and listened to them every day for lunch. I found it increasingly difficult to listen to a sermon and then go look at porn. I put a Bible next to my keyboard. I even put it UNDER my MOUSE.
Defense is not a passive position. It requires targeted action.
If you have a stash, it goes in the trash. An alcoholic in recovery does not have a fridge full of beer.
You do this by making small choices.
This is the most important thing you need to remember. YOUR BODY WILL GO WHEREVER YOUR MIND TAKES IT. This is the crux of porn addiction. Porn thoughts lead to peeking at your stimulus, which leads to acting out. It's a vicious cycle. So you have to take daily continuous action to shove the bad thoughts out and replace them with good thoughts.
Recovery is a journey of ACTION.
Only God can make a seed grow. Your job is to prepare the garden. You can't kneel in front of a patch of dirt and expect to have a harvest. Prayer alone will not get your there. Hope will not make one plant sprout. You need to ACT.
Prayer will give you strength when storms destroy your crops, and they will.
Start by finding space. Seek to spend more times WITH people than alone with your secret. Find ACTIVITIES to keep your mind and hands busy, AWAY FROM your triggers.
Choose one thing to do different today. Do it all day. You'll be on your way. Check your wipers. Make a choice to SEE the road YOU WANT to follow.
You CAN do this.
I wish you safe driving. Come back here. We are here for you.
I have been right there where you are - with more addictions than just porn.
If you are driving a car in a snowstorm with NO WIPERS, you'll lose all hope and crash.
Right now, you have no wipers. You don't have a plan to free you from porn.
I used to have a gambling habit. And I live in Vegas. It went away when I stopped hanging out at casinos.
I used to have an alcohol addiction. It stopped when I made a choice not to go to bars.
I used to have a drug problem. It went away when I stopped hanging out with other people that also had a drug problem.
I used to feel so alone. Those feelings went away when I started hanging out with good people from church. Made REAL friends that really cared. I also discovered God's Word. Over time, I formed a relationship with Jesus. And now I'm never alone.
Porn, though, lingered. Why? Because the bar, the casino, the drugs and the solitude are RIGHT THERE - EVERY DAY.
I came up with a line: Put space between you and the nasty place.
Proverbs 7 tells us not to turn onto the bad girl's street. "Harmless" browsing is turning onto her street. The deed is only a few steps away. Know that and protect yourself from it.
You feel "drawn" to the porn. That is because when you are away from the computer or your stash you have not filled your mind with OTHER THOUGHTS.
I found listening to good thoughts helped me get clean. I downloaded all the podcasts from xxxchurch and listened to them when I work. I work at home alone. So I built a defensive pile of good thoughts BEFORE my most dangerous times to fall were approaching, in the afternoon. I downloaded sermons from www.centralchristian.com and www.canyonridge.org and listened to them every day for lunch. I found it increasingly difficult to listen to a sermon and then go look at porn. I put a Bible next to my keyboard. I even put it UNDER my MOUSE.
Defense is not a passive position. It requires targeted action.
If you have a stash, it goes in the trash. An alcoholic in recovery does not have a fridge full of beer.
You do this by making small choices.
This is the most important thing you need to remember. YOUR BODY WILL GO WHEREVER YOUR MIND TAKES IT. This is the crux of porn addiction. Porn thoughts lead to peeking at your stimulus, which leads to acting out. It's a vicious cycle. So you have to take daily continuous action to shove the bad thoughts out and replace them with good thoughts.
Recovery is a journey of ACTION.
Only God can make a seed grow. Your job is to prepare the garden. You can't kneel in front of a patch of dirt and expect to have a harvest. Prayer alone will not get your there. Hope will not make one plant sprout. You need to ACT.
Prayer will give you strength when storms destroy your crops, and they will.
Start by finding space. Seek to spend more times WITH people than alone with your secret. Find ACTIVITIES to keep your mind and hands busy, AWAY FROM your triggers.
Choose one thing to do different today. Do it all day. You'll be on your way. Check your wipers. Make a choice to SEE the road YOU WANT to follow.
You CAN do this.
I wish you safe driving. Come back here. We are here for you.
