The shadows of the past and the light of the future.
I grew up in a Catholic household in a small town and was always a pretty good kid. I went to a private Catholic elementary school and because of that public junior high was a huge change. From all the outward issues at junior high I soon began to fade away from my catholic friends, my good habits, and from God, drifting from him entirely, to where I could care less about what I did. I became nearly the exact opposite of how I was raised. As I went into eighth grade i started getting into some bad stuff. All the guys were talking about masturbation in the locker room after football so I decided to try it. Before long it became a vice that I could not get rid of and from that point on it was all down hill, I left behind my morals and good character and started lying habitually, drinking casually, masturbating daily, stopped praying all together and gave up on myself. I lost my friends, all my values and my faith seemed gone entirely, though I did not care. As I went into my freshman year God began reaching out to me, in a way I could not see. I began to feel bad about how I was acting, regretting losing my friends and respect from others, and eventually my old friends accepted me back. The Lord changed my sight without my knowing, and only two years later did I realize this. Now I am very active in my church, youth group, work and school. But from where I was it was unavoidable to carry on to where I am now. This fall I'm entering my Junior year, and I still have issues with masturbation and pornography. When you recover from the kind of state I was in you can't help but carry on the ways you thought or habits you had. Its a heavy shadow that is impossible to get rid of without God. I count myself extremely blessed for not being stuck in that deepening rut forever, for being saved. The Lord reached out to me and I just barely grabbed on in time, and am still trying to get a better grip.
The rosary was a powerful weapon that help get me on track too.
