Confession of the Heart

I have been struggling with sexually addiction for about 10 years now. I was introduced to sexually activity at a very early age. I was sexually molested when I was 10. I am now 23 and just recently told someone about it. I keep this a secret for 13 years. The devil has used this against me so many time. Telling me that I am not good enough to be a child of God. I am going into mission work and it is hard for me to focus on God with this in my life. When I told my friend about the sexual abuse I felt some relief but I still have the addiction to pornography. I have never told anyone about it. Over the last few months it has gotten a lot worse. I have slipped into depression at times. I feel that the devil is just beating me up over it. Every time I tell myself that this will be the last time. Then I slip back and I feel that God will not forgive me this time. I have stopped reading my Bible and going to Church. I have even stopped hanging out with friends. I know that God can heal and forgive all things but some time the guilt is hard to bare. I don't want to tell anyone about this because it is so embarrassing and shameful. I don't want any of my friends to know. I feel that reaching out through this may help get it in the open.

raph wrote on June 25th 08 at 01:14PM

This is a good start to confess through here first.

It is definitely scary when you confess and especially to others. But when you do confess, it is the start of the freeing process of these chains you have been stuck on. This is a step of faith you will have to take. You can reread your confession above and you say you have stopped going to church and hanging out with friends. This is definitely what Satan wants, but it is not what God wants for you. I would encourage you to confess because you will realize you are not alone and there are many sources of getting help in these areas.

Have faith!

J.R. Neumiller wrote on June 25th 08 at 04:21PM

"If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

How true do you think God thinks this is?

vance wrote on June 26th 08 at 01:05AM

i know how hard it is to confess it to someone. i didnt know who i could tell and finally decided i had to tell someone about my addiction if i was going to get better. i figured none of my friends would understand it or anyhting but i chose the one i thought might understand the best, and turns out he has struggled to and it was really bothering him and he didnt know who he could talk to about it. it was like God just made me confess it to him knowing he needed help too. he is a strong christian i never guessed he had any problems with it so i thought it would be really awkward when i told him but it wasnt. just step out in faith, confess it to a friend. its not easy but it will help

heather wrote on June 26th 08 at 09:49PM

i know how you feel with the guilt being hard to deal with. it took me over 3 years to get the courage to talk to someone about it. i felt ashamed to the point of sickness even thinking about someone finding out about what i was doing when i was home alone. but then craig actually came and talked to my college group at my church. it was like God driving a stake through my heart. it's tough, but the second those words come out of your mouth, it's like breaking your chains. and once you start taking steps to get better, the feeling is absolutely exhilirating.
it's not easy keeping on the straight and narrow path, either. having someone to be able to keep you accountable is, in my opinion, the most important part of trying to recover from this addiction.
have faith; always. don't listen to the devil. your God loves you unconditionally and will do anything to get you back into His arms. you just have to take that first step and tell someone. trust me; it's worth it.