is it really wrong?
i began masturbating when i was probably 6 or 7... maybe younger... needless to say i've been doing it for as long as i can remember. i never really knew it was wrong, or why it was wrong, until i was 12. i still don't fully understand why it's wrong, but the fact is, i know in the pit of my heart it is a sin. i've never struggled with porn, that's one thing i actually refuse to let myself get into. it makes me angry seeing men and women lower themselves to mere sex objects. but the thing is, i've got porn in my mind. i don't need another person on my screen to get me thinking... it's just that sometimes the feeling and urge comes on so strong i literally find myself almost crying trying to resist. the battle goes on for what seems like hours in my head... "just do it, you'll feel better afterwards... the urge will go away... you're not hurting anyone, not even yourself... it won't affect your love life once your married, in fact it may make it better......" and the lies go on and on and on. as i sit here almost in tears, i just wish this feeling would go away. i know one day it will become easier, though i doubt i'll ever really be free from this sin. Satan knows my weakness and will use it as long as i let him.
