i wish i didnt

i have a co worker before who let me see porn on the net, for me its like ah thats nothing so what if i watch it, i'm a mature christian, a leader before to a group of young people, a guitarist in our church . in my mind i said i can easily get rid of it but no! im deceiving my self.

i went to through differen sites and i can say right now im starting already almost becoming addicted. thats why i come here to confess it beofre it get worst its true small things comes big things.

at first i just watch and see what is sex is all about then it goes from one site to another site and then i really beg God and after a month here i go again then i stop for a few months and then here i go again i dont want this thing to get worst may God have mercy on me right now thats why im confessing this to someone. its very embarassing cuz people see me as a great person.

I'm so scared and afraid if i will fail again. I love Jesus more than my life and i'm so scared to disobey Him, so afraid to fall out of His hand. I know He loves me but He cant tolearte sins. I dont want to keep on sinning, nor I dont want, Him to be away from me.


to anyone (please tell this to the christian)

Dont be deceived to the lies of satan that saying "just keep on watching and ull get used to it, and eventually ull get tired of watching it" dont ever believe on that cuz ull be keep on longing for it...

cuz i was once a victim on the whisper of satan. i let my guard down.

for hose single lady like me who is a virgin and never been into relationship here is the thing "dont ever let your desire control you telling you " i just want to see, out of curiousity, and i want to know how". dont ever fall into your carnal desire.

cuz i was once.

and may God help me cuz i wont allow this thing hold me back from my God. Jesus have mercy. let my desire be unto ur feet. help me come over it.