my story

My pornography adiction started when I was in grade 7 when some friends of mine found a porn site completely by mistake when we were doing research for a report on egypt none of us really knew much about the internet so we simply typed in www.-------.com ------- being the topic of our project. To our suprise, embarasment, shock and curiosity pictures of naked women popped up on the screen. that was the first time I had ever seen a pornographic picture and it wasn't until years later that I even thought of looking for it again. I don't really remember the first time I intentionally looked up porn but I am quite certain it was an attempt to investigate "love" and "intimacy" in an attempt to understand what I would one day experience as someones wife. Looking back now I know that that is not at all what love is but back then I was extreemely self concious and had really low self esteem. Over the next eight or so years I continued to use pornography and masturbation to try to make me happy but all it did was push me deep down into debilitating depression. It was like a drug. I'd use then hate myself for using, beg God for forgivness then use again a couple days later. I ended up cutting my arm before realizing how deep a hole I had dug myself. I have Christian parents and had no problem going to my mom after cutting myself to get help for my depression. I was put on an anti-depressant and it worked to deal with the depression and I worked on staying clean and I did it fine for awhile but a few months after I was weened of the medication I went right back to the pornography and right back to that nasty cycle of hopelessness. It was the seccond time on medication and going away to university that really allowed me to see the real problem behind my depression. It was the porn and the self-hatred and worthlessness that I felt after constantly begging God for forgiveness. I know now that in His eyes I was clean when I confessed to Him and asked for forgivness, and it was satans lies that "you will never be able to stop" and "you are the only girl who would ever look at such perverted things".
I haven't looked at porn in the past nine months and I am determined not to again. I have fallen twice though to masturbation since then and am hopeing that by putting my whole story into words that I will be able to stay clean for good. I will be doing a free on-line course that I found here http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/enroll/ and I know that God will see me through this storm and I will be stronger for it.
Thanks for listening,
if anyone can relate to my story and has defeated their addiction I would love to hear any advise you could offer me. I have also read that an accountability partner is really beneficial ao if anyone feels led to help in this way...