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If you click on the video below, which has just been added to the site, you can the most amazing person in my life...my wife.
Watching this video, which was filmed about 7 months ago at our home in Colorado, brings back a flood of emotions, some of great sadness, but even more the glory of what God can do when we give up all of the "stuff" and focus on Him.
On the previous blog post there was some discussion of how long you wait for someone to repent. Some mentioned that we had to know if a person was repenting, if they had given up their sinful ways and were walking the right path, so to speak.
This incredible woman went through 8 years of hell in our marriage and then through 8 months of divorce, we came within hours of signing the final papers...and by the grace of this woman, the power of prayer and turning our lives back to God, today things are much different...all the glory to God.
Tonight we will do an event with X3 at an incredible church in Seattle Washington called EastLake Community Church, where they will play this before we speak...it will be hard to watch with others. I hear that shame that I carried for so long, that shame that satan uses against us to keep us from feeling the love of Jesus Christ...that shame that kept me from walking into a church for more than 8 years...I hear those old demons. But I live in the light of the Truth and each day I put on the armor of God, I wake up and give thanks for one more day to honor Him, one more day to walk with honor and integrity...two words I never thought would ever be a part of my life again. Thank you God.
I would like to know your thoughts on this video...I want you to see what happens when grace prevails over judgment...She is my best friend in the whole world and I thank God for her everyday..
God bless you all and thanks for being here.
Steve G
Ryan K wrote on October 10th 08 at 10:46PM
What an inspiring story. I'm trying to sort out some of these same issues. I'm very honest about my addiction with my girlfriend. Understandably, she won't marry me until I deal with my pornography issue.
The idea of honesty, openness it's interesting. Even though I'm very open it doesn't help me overcome...
The idea of honesty, openness it's interesting. Even though I'm very open it doesn't help me overcome...
MTof X3 wrote on October 11th 08 at 02:02AM
I saw some of the press already from the event tonight. I am so thankful that you and Ann are so transparent and are traveling with us to share your story of trial, hope, fire and victory! I know the Lord is blessing you and how I pray He will give me the same outcome!
kam wrote on October 12th 08 at 03:43AM
this is definitely an inspiring story. Thank you, it helped me! God bless your family
Tero wrote on October 12th 08 at 10:12AM
Am not able to listne, but wanted to encourage people to work at it, by pressing into God more.
The temptations don't just go away, but whent you press into God, you are renewing your mind, and filling it with positive thoughts. You are taking away the room for the bad thoughts to reside. "Be transformed by renewing your mind."
I'm not "healed" as I sit, but God is healing me and transforming me into His image.
I have noticed as I have started to become more consistent with my devotion time and prayer time, that my thought life is improving.
In this day and age, we are bombarded with temptation, but press on toward the goal: being like God. When you fall, get back up. For the righteous will fall and get back up.
God Bless you all!
Please keep me in your prayers, I am praying for those who are involved with XXXchurch.
Tero
The temptations don't just go away, but whent you press into God, you are renewing your mind, and filling it with positive thoughts. You are taking away the room for the bad thoughts to reside. "Be transformed by renewing your mind."
I'm not "healed" as I sit, but God is healing me and transforming me into His image.
I have noticed as I have started to become more consistent with my devotion time and prayer time, that my thought life is improving.
In this day and age, we are bombarded with temptation, but press on toward the goal: being like God. When you fall, get back up. For the righteous will fall and get back up.
God Bless you all!
Please keep me in your prayers, I am praying for those who are involved with XXXchurch.
Tero
guest wrote on October 12th 08 at 06:13PM
Steve, you have a powerful story. I praise God that you are being given the chance to have an amazing life and marriage from here on out, and that you will be a light to many other families. I have been married for 7 years and just recently my wife and I have seen that even the strongest appearing relationships can easily hide sexual sins behind closed doors.
vhen wrote on October 14th 08 at 07:20AM
thank you for sharing your struggles.
your family will be in my prayers. my mother forgave my dad for an affair 30 years ago. they just celebrated 50 years praise God.
your family will be in my prayers. my mother forgave my dad for an affair 30 years ago. they just celebrated 50 years praise God.
John wrote on October 15th 08 at 10:35PM
"For his compassions never fail -they are new every morning" (Lam 3:22b-23a). May the grace that you know and now live be contagious and the way that you willingly live in the light be seen in all the true freedom it has brought you.
Thank you for sharing; know that God will use this to touch thousands.
Thank you for sharing; know that God will use this to touch thousands.
Steve G wrote on October 16th 08 at 08:06AM
@Ryan...Confessing is a huge step towards changing your life, but meeting with a group of guys who are struggling with this, having a real accountability person in your life and seeking God everyday through music, scripture and friends...these things will help you over come.
But the toughest is being honest with those we love and you are there with an incredible women who is standing by you and requiring accountability. So many women would have already walked...you have a gift in this one, a true gift from God...do every thing you can, meetings, church groups, scripture....every thing!
Thanks for being here and sharing a part of your life, you can do this.
God's love knows no boundry...neither does ours here...We love you brother, keep up the fight.
“And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7 KJ)
Steve G
But the toughest is being honest with those we love and you are there with an incredible women who is standing by you and requiring accountability. So many women would have already walked...you have a gift in this one, a true gift from God...do every thing you can, meetings, church groups, scripture....every thing!
Thanks for being here and sharing a part of your life, you can do this.
God's love knows no boundry...neither does ours here...We love you brother, keep up the fight.
“And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7 KJ)
Steve G
Steve G wrote on October 16th 08 at 08:16AM
MT...It was awesome!!! What an incredible church Eastlake Community is, they are a great example of what happens when you have the compassion of Jesus in the heart of your church...INCREDIBLE PLACE!!
We are thinking of you and your family, praying for peace in your life...We love ya Sister!
Steve and Ann
We are thinking of you and your family, praying for peace in your life...We love ya Sister!
Steve and Ann
Steve G wrote on October 16th 08 at 08:36AM
@Kam, Thank you! All the glory to God!!
@Tero, You said "When you fall, get back up." Well said! It is when we don't that we fail, the rest is called life and as you said the goal is God!
@Guest, Thank you...we must get this out of the darkness and shine the light and forgivness of our Lord in to it...then the Truth will be known and healing can take place.
@Vhen, Praise God for the great example your parents have set for you...marriage is tough but with God all things are possible. 50 years!!! All to God's glory!!
@John, Great scripture! Thanks for being here!
Steve and Ann
@Tero, You said "When you fall, get back up." Well said! It is when we don't that we fail, the rest is called life and as you said the goal is God!
@Guest, Thank you...we must get this out of the darkness and shine the light and forgivness of our Lord in to it...then the Truth will be known and healing can take place.
@Vhen, Praise God for the great example your parents have set for you...marriage is tough but with God all things are possible. 50 years!!! All to God's glory!!
@John, Great scripture! Thanks for being here!
Steve and Ann
Jon K wrote on October 20th 08 at 12:09AM
@ Ryan: If you can somehow see this comment, I'm going through the same thing. Email me @ apocharimonos@yahoo.com
Thanks brother
Thanks brother
beautifulwife wrote on October 21st 08 at 02:47PM
Thanks for posting this Steve!!! Wow!
My husband confessed a short while ago. Four months. He's walking in the light now and he seems to be growing! he's a new man, not to say that he doesn't struggle, but it is amazing to see God work in his life. Thanks for your ministry.
My husband confessed a short while ago. Four months. He's walking in the light now and he seems to be growing! he's a new man, not to say that he doesn't struggle, but it is amazing to see God work in his life. Thanks for your ministry.
Steve G wrote on October 21st 08 at 09:11PM
@ a truly beautifulwife...
It is amazing to see God work...it is amazing to hear your words, your words of love for a man many would toss aside. I am in awe of your words and what God is doing.
Truly being open, allowing him to discuss his struggles, will help him greatly in his walk to stay sober and will speed the recovery of your marriage.
When I am able to ask my wife to change seats with me at a resturant because I am in direct view of a waitress station and not have her ask "Why" but instead to understand that I must do everything I can to remove this from my life, has given me the gift of being truly open with every struggle we have.
Today, 3 years out of that 8 years of hell we have an incredible relationship and we model a marriage to our children which says it is not easy, but it is worth every struggle to stand as a family....a family...words I thought were lost but not God, He had different plans.
All the Glory to God for your courage and love of this broken man.
Thank you so very, very much for posting here. Let us know how we can help and know that Ann and I are praying for you.
God bless you...
Steve and Ann
It is amazing to see God work...it is amazing to hear your words, your words of love for a man many would toss aside. I am in awe of your words and what God is doing.
Truly being open, allowing him to discuss his struggles, will help him greatly in his walk to stay sober and will speed the recovery of your marriage.
When I am able to ask my wife to change seats with me at a resturant because I am in direct view of a waitress station and not have her ask "Why" but instead to understand that I must do everything I can to remove this from my life, has given me the gift of being truly open with every struggle we have.
Today, 3 years out of that 8 years of hell we have an incredible relationship and we model a marriage to our children which says it is not easy, but it is worth every struggle to stand as a family....a family...words I thought were lost but not God, He had different plans.
All the Glory to God for your courage and love of this broken man.
Thank you so very, very much for posting here. Let us know how we can help and know that Ann and I are praying for you.
God bless you...
Steve and Ann
beautifulwife wrote on October 22nd 08 at 01:01PM
Steve, I pray that someday I may be able to publicly share (like your wife) what God is doing in my husband's heart and our marriage. Right now though, it all is so fresh and I am beginning to heal. God's love, forgiveness, and grace are amazing. God is working in my heart as well. I believe it was you who answered some email questions for me in June. Thanks for your encouragement and your prayers. God is so full of stead fast love!!! To Him be the glory!!
Matt 527 wrote on October 22nd 08 at 04:02PM
I feel sorry for your wife who has not left you yet.
Your wife should be your true love, no one else should matter. It is deplorable that she does not ask why when you are in front of the waitress station.
You do not love her, it is obvious because you cannot control your urge for others.
The destruction of marriage is not divorce, it is those who stay in broken marriage out of sense of commitment.
Your wife should be your true love, no one else should matter. It is deplorable that she does not ask why when you are in front of the waitress station.
You do not love her, it is obvious because you cannot control your urge for others.
The destruction of marriage is not divorce, it is those who stay in broken marriage out of sense of commitment.
Jon K. wrote on October 22nd 08 at 11:45PM
@ Matt 527: Have you ever been in this situation? Struggled with this? It is a blessing when someone loves you so much and extends so much grace to you when struggling with masturbation and pornography. I'm sure even more so if it is your wife. Do you think he WANTS to think these thoughts? Do you not think he hurts when he thinks about someone other than his wife in that way? Do you not think he hurts when he sees how much it hurts her? This brother and his wife are working hard to correct the damage that has been done. Doing everything they can so it doesn't happen again. They are actively fulfilling the Lord's word and will as shown in 1 Corinthians 6:18; Ephesians 5:3; 1 Thessalonians 4:3. That is a lot more than many many others are doing. They are taking steps to continue to mend their relationship and honor and glorify God in the process. What in all that is deplorable in any way? I can testify - the grace and love shown by someone, especially someone who has been hurt by this, to you can change your life.
Steve G wrote on October 23rd 08 at 08:10AM
@ Matt 527,
She does not need to ask why because we are committed to our marriage and in that commitment we have agreed "In sickness and in health, in good times and bad".
This is that sickness. You (and you are not alone) may see it as a choice, not a sickness. I have battled it all my life; through honesty my wife and I have become one in this battle. Through this kind of honesty we have both learned so much about each others fears, hurts and pains.
In marriage, when you reach the ability of true honesty, no matter what, you reach something I simply cannot put into words…it is a freedom like nothing I have ever experienced, a true inner peace…Jesus is the Truth, and that Truth has set us free. Marriage is not about keeping secrets, it is about love. Being able to share anything with my spouse and receiving grace and love, instead of judgment (as you have done) is what love is…it is the true essence of marriage, the Bible says "and the greatest of these is love".
It is not a broken marriage, it is a marriage so strong, so incredible that I doubt few people are as truly happy as we are…we are a family and we have all the bumps and bruises to prove it and we add more all the time. Our kids will always know marriage is not for the meek, it is hard work, you will have problems…they know it is not like TV or the movies where everything is great; they know and expect it will be hard work.
For two and a half years I have controlled this and controlled is the right word. It will never leave me, just like the urge to consume alcohol will never leave me; I have been sober for almost three years. I also tell my wife how tempting it is when I see an ice cold Corona...she sees no difference in the Corona and the waitress station. I make changes in my life to avoid "trigger" situations.
Marriage is a commitment. The world would agree with your statement, however, I find your statement to be an oxymoron, the word “broken” and “commitment to marriage” cannot exist in the same sentence. You either believe in commitment or you do not. My wife suffered, she suffered in so many ways I cannot begin to put it here in writing, but she remained committed, she believed God could restore what satan had taken, she believed it and taught it to our children. Our children know that prayer works, they have had a great example in their lives.
I am married to my wife today because she made a commitment and stood by it. Through her strength I have been able to beat something which had beaten me for almost 40 years. She is my best friend, my confidant, there is nothing we cannot share with each other and we live in the light of the Truth...no matter what....Nothing broken about that!
Thanks for being here Matt; I truly appreciate your comments as I know others have asked the samething. My wife just does not believe in blaming the darkness.
Do not blame the dark for being dark; blame the light for not shining in the darkness.
God bless you,
Steve G
She does not need to ask why because we are committed to our marriage and in that commitment we have agreed "In sickness and in health, in good times and bad".
This is that sickness. You (and you are not alone) may see it as a choice, not a sickness. I have battled it all my life; through honesty my wife and I have become one in this battle. Through this kind of honesty we have both learned so much about each others fears, hurts and pains.
In marriage, when you reach the ability of true honesty, no matter what, you reach something I simply cannot put into words…it is a freedom like nothing I have ever experienced, a true inner peace…Jesus is the Truth, and that Truth has set us free. Marriage is not about keeping secrets, it is about love. Being able to share anything with my spouse and receiving grace and love, instead of judgment (as you have done) is what love is…it is the true essence of marriage, the Bible says "and the greatest of these is love".
It is not a broken marriage, it is a marriage so strong, so incredible that I doubt few people are as truly happy as we are…we are a family and we have all the bumps and bruises to prove it and we add more all the time. Our kids will always know marriage is not for the meek, it is hard work, you will have problems…they know it is not like TV or the movies where everything is great; they know and expect it will be hard work.
For two and a half years I have controlled this and controlled is the right word. It will never leave me, just like the urge to consume alcohol will never leave me; I have been sober for almost three years. I also tell my wife how tempting it is when I see an ice cold Corona...she sees no difference in the Corona and the waitress station. I make changes in my life to avoid "trigger" situations.
Marriage is a commitment. The world would agree with your statement, however, I find your statement to be an oxymoron, the word “broken” and “commitment to marriage” cannot exist in the same sentence. You either believe in commitment or you do not. My wife suffered, she suffered in so many ways I cannot begin to put it here in writing, but she remained committed, she believed God could restore what satan had taken, she believed it and taught it to our children. Our children know that prayer works, they have had a great example in their lives.
I am married to my wife today because she made a commitment and stood by it. Through her strength I have been able to beat something which had beaten me for almost 40 years. She is my best friend, my confidant, there is nothing we cannot share with each other and we live in the light of the Truth...no matter what....Nothing broken about that!
Thanks for being here Matt; I truly appreciate your comments as I know others have asked the samething. My wife just does not believe in blaming the darkness.
Do not blame the dark for being dark; blame the light for not shining in the darkness.
God bless you,
Steve G
beautifulwife wrote on October 23rd 08 at 12:31PM
@ Matt 527
I was grieved when I read what you posted. I don't know your situation, but I felt your words were bitter and angry. I pray the Holy Spirit will soften your heart and enable you to breath grace upon the person (s) who has hurt you so deeply. That you will forgive as Christ has forgiven and Love as HE and Our Father has loved us. Ann is a great example to me. She has done what Jesus would have done.
Praying for you today, that God would give you mercy, grace, forgiveness, and the peace that He has given me.
I was grieved when I read what you posted. I don't know your situation, but I felt your words were bitter and angry. I pray the Holy Spirit will soften your heart and enable you to breath grace upon the person (s) who has hurt you so deeply. That you will forgive as Christ has forgiven and Love as HE and Our Father has loved us. Ann is a great example to me. She has done what Jesus would have done.
Praying for you today, that God would give you mercy, grace, forgiveness, and the peace that He has given me.
sean wrote on November 3rd 08 at 09:34PM
just to clear up my last post
I would not recommend sharing much detail with your girlfriend, unless you are serious with her; engaged or getting engaged. Too much detail is bad, and a lack of information keeps her from being able to make a healthy decision about the relationship.
My soon to be fiance knows quite a bit about my struggle, so that she is not entering this relationship blind. She needs to know about my struggle enough information to know whether or not to move forward in the relationship.
Someday she will be my wife and she needs to know that she can trust my honesty. I do screw up, and that honesty also helps hold me accountable.
I would not recommend sharing much detail with your girlfriend, unless you are serious with her; engaged or getting engaged. Too much detail is bad, and a lack of information keeps her from being able to make a healthy decision about the relationship.
My soon to be fiance knows quite a bit about my struggle, so that she is not entering this relationship blind. She needs to know about my struggle enough information to know whether or not to move forward in the relationship.
Someday she will be my wife and she needs to know that she can trust my honesty. I do screw up, and that honesty also helps hold me accountable.
PsalmistHeart wrote on November 19th 08 at 09:08PM
Steve,
Wonderful testimony of God's love, grace, and long-suffering in, and through bought you and your wife!
Thank God for my wife, who stood with me, and by me after I fell. After years of ministry, my life came spiraling down when I had an affair. The pain I cause to my wife, my sons, extended family, and church family is something that never goes away.
The catalyst sadly was pornography, which I began looking at when a pre-teen. How thankful I am for my wife, who voiced her love and her forgiveness when, as you said, many believers told her to leave me. I thank God she stayed by me, when she had every reason to walk.
Praise God that my addiction to my selfish ways through lust and pornography have been brought under control. It is something I daily need to trust God for strength to stand true and strong not only to myself but to my mate.
Our marriage vows mean everything to me, when I realize that now 30+ years those words speak everything. Now in the last several years, my wife's health has deteriorated and now I have the opportunity to be the truth of those words, "in sickness and in health."
Thank God for my wife and for my sons and praise God for both of you and how God is showing His faithfulness and constant love as you share your testimony with a needy culture and church community.
Wonderful testimony of God's love, grace, and long-suffering in, and through bought you and your wife!
Thank God for my wife, who stood with me, and by me after I fell. After years of ministry, my life came spiraling down when I had an affair. The pain I cause to my wife, my sons, extended family, and church family is something that never goes away.
The catalyst sadly was pornography, which I began looking at when a pre-teen. How thankful I am for my wife, who voiced her love and her forgiveness when, as you said, many believers told her to leave me. I thank God she stayed by me, when she had every reason to walk.
Praise God that my addiction to my selfish ways through lust and pornography have been brought under control. It is something I daily need to trust God for strength to stand true and strong not only to myself but to my mate.
Our marriage vows mean everything to me, when I realize that now 30+ years those words speak everything. Now in the last several years, my wife's health has deteriorated and now I have the opportunity to be the truth of those words, "in sickness and in health."
Thank God for my wife and for my sons and praise God for both of you and how God is showing His faithfulness and constant love as you share your testimony with a needy culture and church community.
