Anger, Hate and Resentment

Not really biblical values, although one of them (hate) is an emotion which we are told to do in the Bible! (More on that later)

For me, these were all a part of recovery; getting rid of anger, resentment and hate.  Today, they are much less a part of my life than before, but just like addiction, I still deal with it everyday.

It happened again the other night.  I was invited to a fund raiser put on by Shepherd’s Heart Ministry.  This great ministry provides a place for pastors who are struggling with burn out, anger issues, sexual addiction, etc., it gives pastors a place to go for free to spend time with God and renew their strength.

When one of the pastors they had helped was introduced, I was not prepared for what I would hear.  His wife went to the podium first and began something like this...”I remember the first time I saw the images on his computer screen....”.  This woman went on to explain how her husband had been addicted to pornography   for a long time, how see felt she needed to cover it up or they would lose everything.

Well most of you know where these stories go and you are right.  This pastor went to his church, was allowed in front of his congregation one more time to repent of his terrible sin, and fired.  They had no income, no money to get help, nothing...Except they found Shepherd’s Heart Ministry, Praise God.

Anger....My wife asked me a very good question at that moment; you see my wife works in corporate America.  She said “When we have an employee who we catch with porn on their computer or in their history, we bring them in, counsel with them, tell them where to get help and let them know we will not tolerate it any further; then we send them back to work.  Why do churches fire people?”  A good question, one I have been asking and asking and asking.

From the “Pastor Bible”types we get the law 1 Timothy 3:1-7, talking about being above reproach, good reputation, respectable...but what is the example here if 60% of the men in the congregation are struggling, what is the message?  Why do we continue to shoot our fallen? 

Pray for your pastor...find a church where they embrace those who have fallen and risen from the ashes.  Share the names of those churches not only here but in your recovery groups.  God is the way, do not let the Pharisees of this modern world, the “Pastor Bible”types turn you from Jesus, Who only came to save the lost (Matthew 15:24).

Anger... Colossians 3:8
" But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips."

Did you know you choose to be angry?

I learned this over the past several years and learning that this is true has changed my life.  I used to blame my anger on others...”Well if my wife......”or “Work is stressful right now and ....”.  I always had an excuse, always found someone else to blame...But I choose my emotions and if you do not believe this then answer this question; Have you ever been mad at a traffic light?  You know that light that is longer than any other light in town...the one that always turns red as you approach...do you know the one I am talking about?  That light “makes”you mad??  It is an inanimate object and yet it “makes”you mad...hmmmm.  You choose to be mad, we choose our own emotions and you can choose to change them.

I can’t change every church and the injustice of shooting our weak...But I can change how I feel about it and what I do...and so I share it with you and I look for those churches who truly follow who Jesus was and is...He came for me, the broken, the sinner and He came for you...Check out Tapestry of Hope in Birmingham Alabama...Now there is a great church!  Click on it and check it out...there are many more just like it and growing!!

Resentment....Well that is an easy one to fix.  You see Resentment is like me taking poison and hoping someone else dies...let me repeat that. 

Resentment is like me taking poison and hoping someone else dies!!

 Think about it.  I carry around anger, hate and resentment for people who I feel have wronged me and all it does is kill me...slowly.  I had to learn to let go and I did it by praying for people who I felt had wronged me...it is not easy to start with, but I assure you my life is so much better today and I have so much less anger because I gave up trying to change what others thought or what I thought of others.  Give it to God....let go.

Hate...Well that one is from God.  Romans 12:9 “Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.”...But always remember...Hate the Sin, Not the Sinner...

Find the recovery groups; they are filled with love and hope.  But seek out a church, a place where sinners are embraced with the love that Jesus meant for you to feel...the love He has shown me and the light He provides in a world where there is so much darkness. Seek and you will find...If you want us to find you a group or a church, just post your city and which part of town and we will get you hope...

And always remember, You are all Great men of God!!

Steve G

jay wrote on May 7th 08 at 11:30AM

Let me tell you, resentment is no friend at all. I held resentment in my heart for a while towards people in the church and God for wrongs that were done to me. My anger turned to resentment, resentment turned to hate and the hate almost turned to not only physical death, but spiritual death as well. As the Lord kept trying to bring me back to Him, I kept kicking against the goads. I blamed Him for the people He put in my life who wronged me and blamed Him for the problems my mother had been going through, health wise. Carrying that nonsense around nearly killed me. I was serving satan and not the Lord by hold on to that resenment.
He wants us to let go of the past hurts in our lives. Forgive others the way He forgave us for our wrongs, past, present, and future. Who are we not to forgive our brothers and sisters? When you don't, all you're doing is keeping yourself in spiritual bondage.
I have been set free from that bondage of resenment and hate. The Lord broke it out of me. He is still working on the anger part though. I'll be honest. I forgave the ones who hurt me and let me down. Because of my forgiveness towards them and complete repentence, I have experienced a spiritual breakthough that I use to think was impossible for me. But we all know that there is nothing impossible for the Lord. Can I get an Amen. You better say Amen, lol. And Say It Out Loud!!!!! lol
Don't let anger, resenment and hate bound you for any reason. When you do that, you are playing into the game of the enemy and you are blocking what the Lord wants to do in your life. I promise you, from my own experience, which was just 3 months ago, you will get your spiritual breakthrough as long as you be obedient and let go, then let God. Know
what I mean? God Bless You Brothers

andrew wrote on May 8th 08 at 09:38AM

im 21 and struggle with porn addiction.. ive been looking at it for years now. i cant escape it its everywhere. i need help. maybe you could email me some bible verses that would be great

Steve G wrote on May 8th 08 at 11:32PM

@Andrew...Two things brother, read the next blog post it is for you my friend...God truly loves you and understands your struggles. He is not an angry God, but a Father who hurts even more when he see's you struggle.

2nd thing, here are a few verses to remind us of His love:

I am more than a conqueror - Romans 8:37
I am created in His image - Gen 1:27
I was made just a little lower than God - Ps 8:5
I am fearfully and wonderfully made - Ps 139:13-14
I am known by God - Gal 4:9
I am God's child - Ro 8:16
I am a friend of Jesus Christ - Jn 15:15
I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins - Col 1:14
I am free from condemnation - Ro 8:1
I am a citizen of Heaven - Phil 3:20
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Phil 4:13

Gods word says to you Andrew "One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes...Psalm 34:18.

God loves and cares for you Andrew because He knows, like I know...You are a Great man of God!

Thanks for being here brother!

Steve G

Steve G wrote on May 8th 08 at 11:38PM

@Jay...Yes you can get an AMEN brother and yes it was spoken OUT LOUD!

You sound so much like me in carrying around all of that anger! The relief, the sanity and the serenity of letting go was so incredible.

Hate is hard work, it just drains the life (both lives as you point out) out of you.

Thanks bro!! Continue to write those great words of encouragement for us...The victory is yours and the credit is God's!

You are a Great man of God!!

Steve G

Roland B. wrote on August 10th 08 at 11:32PM

Steve,

I can appreciate and understand your comments about anger. After lust, Anger and pride are the weakest point of my being.

My relationship with my wife is a significant source of arduous struggle. As the bible states the wife is to respect her husband, as God knows His creation this is the substance of which we men need the most. For me, I think my need for respect from my wife has come to the requirements of unreasonable proportions ... ergo that which I cannot reasonably expect from wife. I think.
I have been dealing with my wife's overspending for quite some time, and have tried to engage our counselor in the process, but alas to no end. I harbor resentment against my wife for her unwillingness to admit weakness or loss of control in this area, and when she is wrong she does not still take responsibility for it. I know I cannot take her moral inventory for her and yet I cannot continue to allow her to spend our family into financial insolvency. I am angry and resentful. I guess I need to pray, but something more needs to change.
Your prayers and advice will be welcomed.