Time goes by...

Great men of God!

I have been on vacation so please excuse my lack of posts the past couple of weeks.  I then passed a milestone in life as we took our daughter to college this past weekend...it was and still is a very emotional time for me.

There was sadness for a couple of reasons.  First, my daughter is gone...her room is here but no one is in it...I stand in it and I remember...which brings me a sense of greater loss, the loss of time.  I traded a large portion of her life for sexual addiction.  I traded the real joy of life for the lie that I would find happiness.  I traded the ability to serve my family for the selfishness of addiction...I feel a great sense of loss.

I found happiness in this difficult moment, in this moment which challenged me to grow.  I found happiness in the comfort of a God of miracles.  Many said my marriage could not be saved, simply too much damage.  I could have just given up on my marriage, divorced and then tried again...but nothing is impossible for God.  I could have missed a mother and a father driving their daughter to college, I could have missed as we hung pictures in her room, set up her desk...I could have missed these 4 simple words...I love you daddy!!

If you are in this addiction, if you keep trying to say no and you can't, what are you trading?  A marriage,  time with your family time with God?  You are trading something and I can assure you there will come a time when you will know the answer.

There is help here on this site.  On this last post (and many others) I watched as many of you traded comments towards helping each other...The honesty posted here is how we help each other...the friendships I have formed with some of you here and the men in my groups are what keep me sober, they are another place where I find happiness...another way that I forget the past and learn to enjoy this great gift which God has given me.

Find a church which is willing to talk about pornography...find a church which is willing to support a group of honest men willing to talk about their weaknesses...God will be there and you will begin to live a full life and not a life filled with regrets...We must believe that God will go before you and prepare the way for this new group.

Exodus 23:20
[ God's Angel to Prepare the Way ] "See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared.

james wrote on September 9th 08 at 06:31PM

hey ...

wow..... that really spoke to me. thank you so much.. I am so afraid that this addicion will resurface. I have tried to fight it.. but for the wrong reasons. all I have right now is a hope.. i'm hanging on to it with life...

this was an amazing post... small, simple.. but the kick in the butt I needed..

thank you.

steve g wrote on September 9th 08 at 09:21PM

James...Thanks for the kind words...I am glad that God spoke to you through these words that I write...I believe He meant them for you.

You speak of hope and I can relate to being down to nothing but hope in my life...it seems God is so clear when all I had was hope...you are right, you have hope and with hope you have something which has kept people going in the most difficult times...I wanted to share with you where that hope comes from...

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

...plans to give you hope...James, God is with you, He loves you and He has a future for you. Do not compare yourself to His perfection, just know God is always there for you...giving you Hope and a Future...

God bless you,

Steve G