7 Ways To Know You Are A Porn Addict

Saw this article online and thought I would share it - Craig

It may seem harmless at first. Everything may seem under control. You’re just in it for kicks, right? But, as too many people can tell you, porn use is a slippery slope if you don’t keep yourself in check.

Here are some major red flags that you may have a problem with pornography:

1. You’ve become anti-social.

You are spending more time with pornography than you are with the outside world. If you are single (and even if you are putting yourself out there) your preoccupation with porn may be hindering your ability to establish long-term, monogamous relationships. If you are involved with someone, you may find yourself bowing out of couple and familial obligations to steal moments with your laptop or DVD player. Bottom line: You only have eyes for porn stars and no one else.

2. You’re lying to your partner.

Your once honest relationship is now plagued by secrecy and dishonesty as you try to hide your porn habit. About 70 percent of people keep their porn use a secret. And many will go to all sorts of extremes in making sure that they are not found out. Even when busted, many will do or say anything to hide the truth.

3. Your partner is no longer attractive.

Unbeknownst to your partner, s/he has competition – and it’s your favorite porn star. Obsessed with fantasy characters, you find it hard to get turned on to the real thing, including yourself. That’s right; you’re not even letting yourself off the hook. Casting yourself against fiction, you’re sizing yourself up as unattractive. Either way, you are likely avoiding or completely uninterested in sex with your lover.

4. Your sex life with your partner is suffering.

Both your sexual desire and functioning, including arousal, have taken a nose dive. You and your lover are feeling robbed of romance, passion and emotional closeness. This is because you are not truly present with your partner. Emotionally distant, you are too busy having sex with porn. Ultimately, you are dissatisfied with your actual sex life, and this is affecting your relationship.

5. Your concept of “real intimacy” has become warped.

When you re-emerge from the fantasy world, you’re finding that your expectations about sex, sexual partners and intimacy have become unrealistic. You’re only interested in those who look and act like porn stars (which severely limit your dating pool if single). Sadly, you start to think there must be something “wrong” your lover for not putting out like a porn star. Furthermore, you’re objectifying others, wondering what he or she would look like unclothed or how they would act during sex.

6. The habit is causing you distress.

Torn between desire and shame, your use of porn is causing you physiological and emotional distress. You may feel like a “sex pervert,” or suffer from isolation, shame, anger, unrest, depression and irritability. You may be distressed over the fact that using porn conflicts with your value system. Overall, your porn kink is starting to cause family, work, legal and/or spiritual problems.

7. You are engaging in risky behaviors.

You might be OK with ideas that usually make you think twice, for instance, having unprotected sex, but now you are engaging in behavior that is out of control. Soliciting a prostitute, looking at child pornography or anything involving animals or violence warrants a need for help.

If your porn habit is causing you to neglect important life matters, you should seek professional help, especially if it is causing you and your partner distress. A sex counselor or therapist may be able to help.

It also wouldn’t hurt to read “The Porn Trap,” which I thought was well-written and thoughtful.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert and columnist 

james hodges wrote on May 23rd 08 at 09:53AM

well said! i couldnt agree more! thank you for your words of incouragement as always its great to have you guys to turn to!

B Mac wrote on May 23rd 08 at 10:37AM

Yep.... this would pretty much hit the nail on the head. This is well written. B Mac

Suricou Raven wrote on May 23rd 08 at 02:05PM

1. Nothing unusual.
2, 3, 4: NA
5. NA, for different reason.
6. Nope.
7. Nope. Well, other than the involving animals but, but they arn't real animals.

The guide isn't quite accurate though: I know perfectly well that I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. But I don't want to, so no problem.

Doug wrote on May 23rd 08 at 10:35PM

#8 - You lie to yourself about how much control porn has over your life

Micah wrote on May 23rd 08 at 11:14PM

How is number one nothing unusual????

Suricou Raven wrote on May 24th 08 at 04:15AM

I've never been social. Actually, the porn has made me more social: I go out to meet people at an event once every three weeks in London. I met these people through a community of which porn is an important part, and there is always some on display or being drawn at the meets.

answerer wrote on May 24th 08 at 07:59PM

SuricouRaven it kinda sounds like porn has become a norm for you. thats not a good thing. and dont let porn be your a common ground for basis friends. like you might just be looking at yiff and other things but its only going to get worse. If you watched that vid about creig gross was talking about his friend who went to jail for preying on little kids. You coming to this site at least says your wondering if its right or wrong. But you will end up like that guy in way dirter crap. and so would i, if i didnt fight porn.

Christopher Sean wrote on May 24th 08 at 11:48PM

When you say partner and lover, did you mean spouse?

Suricou Raven wrote on May 25th 08 at 05:28AM

Your argument rests on the assumption that all use of porn turns people into pedophiles. This is obviously false: Were it true, well over half the general population would be molesting children by now.

answerer wrote on May 25th 08 at 10:20PM

well the assumption im making, is that we cannot control how far we go down the porn rabbit hole. it'd be false if i said i could control myself. how fast or slow it takes people to go down depends.

Suricou Raven wrote on May 26th 08 at 03:42AM

You also assume an inevitable progression. That is, the rabbit hole is not as deep as you imagine, nor does it always lead in the same direction.

finalanswererer wrote on May 26th 08 at 11:30PM

take it for whats its worth. keep debating and be open. best of luck to you

Suricou Raven wrote on May 29th 08 at 11:09AM

On further thoughts, I think the whole idea of a porn rabbit hole is a completly false analogy.

GraphicArtist2k5 wrote on July 19th 08 at 05:05PM

I can attest to most of those statements as being true. I know what it's like to be addicted to porn, and to be antisocial, but because of Jesus, I'm FREE! Sure, the devil tries to tempt me back into that lifestyle, but I've been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. I'm MORE than a conqueror in Jesus!