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Dr. Phil's Thoughts On Porn
We are not huge followers of Dr. Phil but surprisingly he has some solid thoughts on porn, now if only we could get him to recommend X3watch...anybody know Dr. Phil or Oprah?
Dr. Phil: Is Porn Cheating?
Internet pornography is a growing trend that has many people worried
about their relationships. Is it cheating? And is it a "normal guy
thing"? Here's what Dr. Phil believes:
It is not OK behavior. It is a perverse and ridiculous intrusion
into your relationship. It is an insult, it is disloyal and it is
cheating.
Consider how it makes your partner feel. If it makes your partner feel ugly, hurt, deceived, lied to or inadequate, then it needs to stop. If it is eroding your relationship, it's gone too far.
Pornography isn't real, it's a fantasy. It's makeup, beauty lenses, hair extensions, camera angles, lighting and silicone! It's also somebody's daughter who has taken a really, really wrong turn. She's demeaning herself, debasing herself, humiliating herself and she's being exploited by people who are funded by you. It is a sick, demented, twisted world. It's not healthy, it's not natural and it's not normal.
Viewing Internet pornography or engaging in cybersex is a short step to taking cheating to the next level.
You need to tell your partner that viewing pornography is absolutely, unequivocally unacceptable in your relationship. Draw a line: Your partner needs to choose between the pornography or the relationship.
Ask yourself or your partner:
Would you do it with your partner standing right there?
Are you turning outside of your relationship to meet a need that should be met within the relationship? You can't change what you don't acknowledge, so find out if you or your partner have a problem.
Do you justify the behavior by saying, "It's harmless," "Everyone does it," or "It's just the Internet"?
Does it intrude on your relationship?
Which is more important: pornography or your relationship?
Consider how it makes your partner feel. If it makes your partner feel ugly, hurt, deceived, lied to or inadequate, then it needs to stop. If it is eroding your relationship, it's gone too far.
Pornography isn't real, it's a fantasy. It's makeup, beauty lenses, hair extensions, camera angles, lighting and silicone! It's also somebody's daughter who has taken a really, really wrong turn. She's demeaning herself, debasing herself, humiliating herself and she's being exploited by people who are funded by you. It is a sick, demented, twisted world. It's not healthy, it's not natural and it's not normal.
Viewing Internet pornography or engaging in cybersex is a short step to taking cheating to the next level.
You need to tell your partner that viewing pornography is absolutely, unequivocally unacceptable in your relationship. Draw a line: Your partner needs to choose between the pornography or the relationship.
Ask yourself or your partner:
Would you do it with your partner standing right there?
Are you turning outside of your relationship to meet a need that should be met within the relationship? You can't change what you don't acknowledge, so find out if you or your partner have a problem.
Do you justify the behavior by saying, "It's harmless," "Everyone does it," or "It's just the Internet"?
Does it intrude on your relationship?
Which is more important: pornography or your relationship?
Joel wrote on July 14th 08 at 04:43PM
I usually don't like Dr. Phil, unless I'm listening to one of the prank calls people make using his voice, but this really is spot on.
one-lamb-of-God wrote on July 14th 08 at 05:02PM
Acutually what Phil is doing is speaking Marxism because it's all about 'the relationship' rather than speaking God's Word as Authoritive and Final. That's what dialogue in internet forums are doing, they are elevating "relationship with the group" above "Thus Saith The Lord" in The Word of God. Phil is not spot on because those it sounds wholesome and right it's all about 'the relationship' above being valiant for 'the truth' on the earth.
Joel wrote on July 14th 08 at 05:17PM
Ah, but God is all about relationship is He not? He likens our relationship with Him to that of a husband and wife.
Don't worry. I am not going to start tithing at the Church of Dr. Phil. I'm just glad he is giving good advice on a subject that society more and more deems an acceptable and healthy sexual act.
Don't worry. I am not going to start tithing at the Church of Dr. Phil. I'm just glad he is giving good advice on a subject that society more and more deems an acceptable and healthy sexual act.
miguel wrote on July 14th 08 at 11:59PM
though he doesnt quote bible references, isn't that the truth? How many times we reject someone who has truth but doesnt have THE TRUTH? we treat them as of lesser value then ourselves and we think better. i think Dr. Phil is 100% right, because in the relationship its you, God and the Girl.....right? I think in the end, this light will be pursued
Pierrot le Fou wrote on July 16th 08 at 01:06AM
Well I'm not too surprised that Dr. Phil extends his career of "professional finger wagging" to the world of pornography. From any other psychologist we would demand that he CITES SOURCES and uses CLINICAL RESEARCH, but somehow he seems to be the exceptions and gets away with running his mouth off.
I'm not saying that I disagree or agree with his point, that is an entirely seperate thing. I object to the fact that he seems to completelt bypass very standard professional ethics, he has a PHD and yet his books and statements in general are not grounded in theory and his conclusions are often drawn from very few, and very personal cases.
The reaction I expect to get from this is "this is not directed towards scholars, it's for avarage people". This is true and at the same time the fundamental reason he gets away with it. His audience will assume he knows what he's talking about because they trust a professional. After all he's Dr. Phil and not just Mr. Phil, he must know more about what he's talking about than we do. It is giving intelligence to the argument and respect to the reader by allowing them the chance to trace back his steps and show him that he might be wrong. The average reader must be given the same chances that he would give to his peers.
After all, Psychology is not like Mathematics where the solution to a problem is given with a simple equation. Anyone who makes absolute statements, like our friend Dr. Phil, is oversimplifying the human mind beyond belief.
I am a christian, who personally doesn't care for pornography, but I'm still horrified at the fact that people are bypassing the fact that his arguments are weak and simply taking it all in because they agree with what he says.
To thise who are quoting the Bible to strenghten his argument, he is making an argument from the point of view of mental health, so the Bible can't be taken into account.
If we are ever to make progress, we have to question statements made even by professionals who are also celebrities. We are here to get at the truth, not our own opinions.
I'm not saying that I disagree or agree with his point, that is an entirely seperate thing. I object to the fact that he seems to completelt bypass very standard professional ethics, he has a PHD and yet his books and statements in general are not grounded in theory and his conclusions are often drawn from very few, and very personal cases.
The reaction I expect to get from this is "this is not directed towards scholars, it's for avarage people". This is true and at the same time the fundamental reason he gets away with it. His audience will assume he knows what he's talking about because they trust a professional. After all he's Dr. Phil and not just Mr. Phil, he must know more about what he's talking about than we do. It is giving intelligence to the argument and respect to the reader by allowing them the chance to trace back his steps and show him that he might be wrong. The average reader must be given the same chances that he would give to his peers.
After all, Psychology is not like Mathematics where the solution to a problem is given with a simple equation. Anyone who makes absolute statements, like our friend Dr. Phil, is oversimplifying the human mind beyond belief.
I am a christian, who personally doesn't care for pornography, but I'm still horrified at the fact that people are bypassing the fact that his arguments are weak and simply taking it all in because they agree with what he says.
To thise who are quoting the Bible to strenghten his argument, he is making an argument from the point of view of mental health, so the Bible can't be taken into account.
If we are ever to make progress, we have to question statements made even by professionals who are also celebrities. We are here to get at the truth, not our own opinions.
Layton wrote on July 17th 08 at 02:53PM
I think that you CAN use the Bible to back up those statements. God even says in Romans that creation itself shows the divine qualities of God so why couldn't someone who's unsaved find the truth. They may not know it is God's truth, but they can still find it.
(though I truly think that Dr. Phil may be saved. I watch his show a lot & he does tell people to talk with their pastor and has had a few on his show to help those with various issues.)
(though I truly think that Dr. Phil may be saved. I watch his show a lot & he does tell people to talk with their pastor and has had a few on his show to help those with various issues.)
Andy wrote on July 17th 08 at 03:39PM
I think that God gave us brains to think with... time and time again he speaks about taking initiative (i.e. using your brain... not looking for some other authority to tell you what to do) in life and how that is a good thing (i..e. the 3 servents each given a gold coin and some invested and others did not). I think that many, if not all of the words spoken here are great and truthful. Good Job Dr. Phill.
In this situation, if people are hearing truth (such as what is above) why do you people care if he is quoting someone or speaking about relationships and not authority... look at the world of people (who God loves dearly) who he might be helping. Start caring about what God cares about (first love your God then your neighbour)... (not authority, nor quotes) other people and your relationship to them!
In this situation, if people are hearing truth (such as what is above) why do you people care if he is quoting someone or speaking about relationships and not authority... look at the world of people (who God loves dearly) who he might be helping. Start caring about what God cares about (first love your God then your neighbour)... (not authority, nor quotes) other people and your relationship to them!
Ethan Johnson wrote on July 18th 08 at 01:49PM
That's good stuff right there! Check out Ephesians 5:3 that's one of my favorite verses. Try reading The Uncensored Truth by Jeanie Mayo, too.
GraphicArtist2k5 wrote on July 19th 08 at 12:10PM
Don't even start that whole "Dr. Phil is speaking marxism" stuff, because what he said is right on target. It is about having a relationship with Jesus first, then your spouse. And porn is cheating, and that's how Christians need to think about it. Stop trying to rationalize it away. God did give us brains to think with, and He does want us to use our better judgment, but He wants us to use our better judgments to apply His Word when we see things that are obviously sinful and wrong, and not waiver in our decisions. We are supposed to be the ones that can discern between darkness and light. You know deep in your own heart whether something is of God or not, especially if you're a Christian.
Pierrot le Fou wrote on July 19th 08 at 09:56PM
Why yes, I certainly do know what is "God or not", mud slinging is "not".
If something is not rational, then it simply isn't true. The only way to get at what is rational or not, is by rationalizing. Logically, don't you think God would be for whatever so happens to be rational?
God gave us brains, that's one thing I agree with that you said. I am a christian, but I pray that if the christian world makes a bad decision that I have a rational enough mind to do the right thing. Certain circumstances in history would have made me completely renounce my faith, these kinds of examples are easy to find, The Spanish Inquisition, The Crusades and the Salem Witch Trials, need I say more?
Doing the right thing is often much harder than it seems, how many people reading this can think of an actions they took which seemed like a good idea at the time, but turned out to be the exact opposite? Rationalization is the only tool we have to combat foolish judgment. I would be a little more concerned with telling my fellow Christians to think, and not tell them what to think.
I have also been advised to not care so much about what authority says. The church is an authority, Dr. Phil is an authority, and yet somehow these authorities are being valued by an above comentator. Dr. Phil is telling you what you want to hear, the evidence for this is the immediate discrediting attempt by authorities I doubt you have even read. I trust my judgment, but I also trust that my judgment could be wrong, wouldn't it make sence now to have different points of view?
I'll finish by addressing my own personal faith. After studying history in high school, I learned about the horrific acts committed by men. I then learned that many of these men believed in the fact that what they were doing was the right thing, they somehow believe God was on their side. I then immediately stopped believing, but then I read Tolstoy's War and Peace. I read a book written by a man taking in every aspect of the world, but that still felt that there had to be a God somewhere. You can rationalize God, many great men have done it, even Voltaire believed in God.
Finally, GraphicArtist, I defy you to find so much as a vague implication of Karl Marx's theories being applied by me to the actions of Dr. Phil. I don't know where you got that, perhaps retionalization could have helped you in this case.
If something is not rational, then it simply isn't true. The only way to get at what is rational or not, is by rationalizing. Logically, don't you think God would be for whatever so happens to be rational?
God gave us brains, that's one thing I agree with that you said. I am a christian, but I pray that if the christian world makes a bad decision that I have a rational enough mind to do the right thing. Certain circumstances in history would have made me completely renounce my faith, these kinds of examples are easy to find, The Spanish Inquisition, The Crusades and the Salem Witch Trials, need I say more?
Doing the right thing is often much harder than it seems, how many people reading this can think of an actions they took which seemed like a good idea at the time, but turned out to be the exact opposite? Rationalization is the only tool we have to combat foolish judgment. I would be a little more concerned with telling my fellow Christians to think, and not tell them what to think.
I have also been advised to not care so much about what authority says. The church is an authority, Dr. Phil is an authority, and yet somehow these authorities are being valued by an above comentator. Dr. Phil is telling you what you want to hear, the evidence for this is the immediate discrediting attempt by authorities I doubt you have even read. I trust my judgment, but I also trust that my judgment could be wrong, wouldn't it make sence now to have different points of view?
I'll finish by addressing my own personal faith. After studying history in high school, I learned about the horrific acts committed by men. I then learned that many of these men believed in the fact that what they were doing was the right thing, they somehow believe God was on their side. I then immediately stopped believing, but then I read Tolstoy's War and Peace. I read a book written by a man taking in every aspect of the world, but that still felt that there had to be a God somewhere. You can rationalize God, many great men have done it, even Voltaire believed in God.
Finally, GraphicArtist, I defy you to find so much as a vague implication of Karl Marx's theories being applied by me to the actions of Dr. Phil. I don't know where you got that, perhaps retionalization could have helped you in this case.
justthinking wrote on July 20th 08 at 10:07AM
just thinking here,dont sinners usually rationalize to find a way to justify there sins so that they wont have to feel guilty about the sins they commit? yes God gave us a brain he also gave us free will to choose to love him and have a relationship with him and follow his word those who choose not to must justify themselves so they wont have to feel the guilt and they rationalize a way to explain to themselves why they sinned
Suricou Raven wrote on July 21st 08 at 11:46AM
"Don't even start that whole "Dr. Phil is speaking marxism" stuff, because what he said is right on target. It is about having a relationship with Jesus first, then your spouse."
Both of you, stop putting words in his mouth. I know nothing about Dr Phil. I get the impression is is a pop-psychologist of dubious professionalism. Even if this is true though, what he said in no way resembles what you two have claimed he said. Let him make a fool of himself, but at least respect others enough not to make up your own claims and misattribute them.
Phil, as quoted above, discussed the implications of porn in a relationship with a human partner. He didn't say anything about marxism, and he didn't say anything about religion, God, Christ, or a relationship with the above. To claim he did is simply lying.
Oh, Pierrot - nice post. Celebrity is not a qualification in any field.
Both of you, stop putting words in his mouth. I know nothing about Dr Phil. I get the impression is is a pop-psychologist of dubious professionalism. Even if this is true though, what he said in no way resembles what you two have claimed he said. Let him make a fool of himself, but at least respect others enough not to make up your own claims and misattribute them.
Phil, as quoted above, discussed the implications of porn in a relationship with a human partner. He didn't say anything about marxism, and he didn't say anything about religion, God, Christ, or a relationship with the above. To claim he did is simply lying.
Oh, Pierrot - nice post. Celebrity is not a qualification in any field.
