A MESSAGE FROM A FORMER MODEL

For some reason, I've been really feeling compelled to contact one of the girls who modeled for me. I finally tracked her down and had a conversation with her via Yahoo Instant Messenger a few days ago. Amongst other things, I asked if she'd mind allowing me to interview her for this column. I promised to keep her anonymous.

Today I received this message from her:

Donny-
Hey, well I've been thinking about our convo the last couple days and i finally went on your myspace to read some of your comments to see if you were truly being honest. I saw the last comment from the guy talking about seeing your pod cast on xxx church and so I decided to watch it. I'm so happy for you and I want to ask for your forgiveness. I was a horrible Christian when I was doing what I was doing. I was not only putting myself in a horrible position but I was putting you in that position too by allowing that to go on. I also wanted to tell you that I've hated you till now. I know it sounds extreme but I blamed you for where I was at. If it hadn't been for you taking those pictures I would still be able to hold my head high. Now I've realized that that was Satan. He was telling me to blame you when all along I should've been blaming myself for everything that was going wrong in my life. I needed someone to blame other than myself. You were it. I'm sorry. Also I forgive you. I forgive you for taking the pictures. It sounds stupid because that was your job and I'm forgiving you for your job but for some reason I feel like I needed to say that. For what it's worth. I would love to do the interview and if you want a testimony on screen I would love to tell my story. You don't have to keep me anonymous. I feel like it makes more of an impact if you can see that person, it's real. But it's up to you, I'm just God's tool. He makes everything good. Thank you Donny. You've helped me more than you know. Please give me a call when you have a chance. Talk to you soon. God Bless
-R

I removed the rest of her name because I want her to be very sure she's okay going on record or on camera. If she's sure about it, I look forward to allowing readers to place a face with yet another story of how porn affects the lives of those involved.

I am also very thankful for her forgiveness.

There will likely be more on this story in the near future...

Bill Giovannetti wrote on January 16th 08 at 07:22PM

The power of God is real, isn't it. Grace is great! Thanks for the story.

Bill

Michael wrote on January 24th 08 at 10:27PM

Donny - that is amazing who God is redeem the years that the locust have eaten. God is an amazing provider of Grace and goodness. Thanks for sharing your story.

Michael
www.the-confessions-of-a-porn-addict.blogspot.com

Joel wrote on January 29th 08 at 09:33AM

Sweet! Redemption is good.

J wrote on February 12th 08 at 09:28PM

I know you are doing a good thing. I am a model and often times wonder if God wants me to stop. I often times think stopping is impossible. But I BELIEVE IN JESUS CHRIST. I want to do something better with my life. It is so empty & lonely. I just hope by coming to this site by accident really was meant to be. I feel so relieved to know other people stop. I have to trust God will provide a way to make a living.

m wrote on February 13th 08 at 10:38PM

j it is no accident that you came across this website. you are under the care of a loving God who ordained that to happen and for you to experience a taste of the freedom you can have by confessing your sins, repenting, and trusting that his blood has made you clean. j you are forgiven! you are loved! do not allow Satan to keep you hiding from God and from others. i pray that you will step into the light. connect here, in a church, and speak to the One who gave Himself for sinners like me and you. im struggling too like crazy. but He came for the sick, not the healthy. He came for us.

Suricou Raven wrote on February 26th 08 at 12:41PM

"It is no accident that you came across this website."

Given the shear numbers who come across this website, of course a few will find it usful. This doesn't mean God is guiding them.

I will show you an example: Pick a number from one to a hundred, at random.

God tells me that the number which you are thinking is... it will come. Oh, yes. Fourty-two.

Am I wrong? Well, if there are thousands of people reading this, its extremally unlikely that none of them were thinking fourty-two.

mrs wrote on March 1st 08 at 11:13AM

My first husband persuaded me to watch porn with him. He told me it was to enhance our married life. I was very naieve and did what he said. That was in 1980. I viewed young males and females being tortured on those videos. One young man who appeared to be about 17 years old and having intercourse with an older woman. He was tall, skinny, brunette and was definitely not a professional actor. Back in the late 70's and early 80's were there people forced to be in those porn movies? such as runaway teens who needed food and shelter?

AStevens wrote on March 1st 08 at 04:17PM

Don't allow anyone to trick you otherwise, J. There are no accidents or random coincidental events with God. You were meant to come to this web site. Just the same way that Suricou Raven was meant to visit this web site and read your post. You have my prayers that God will supply for your needs.

greg wrote on March 1st 08 at 06:28PM

i saw the story on night line friday night. came a cross it simply by accident. was very surprised to see a "porn" pastor. i am a christian and have a problem with porn. i was first introduced to porn at the age of 9. i found 2 magizines under the end table in the living room of our family home. through out my teen years i found it very easy to get a hold of porn. mags, movies. in my early 20's i even thought it would be cool to have porn style pictures taken with my female friends. now at 32 the ones i still go to church with i cant look in the eye. porn is still a stronghold in my life. even before i came to this site i looked at it online. thank you for making this a ministry. it would be embarrassing if people at church found me out. its just that its very addictive. like beer and drugs. its hard to let go.

greg, FL,

Mike wrote on March 3rd 08 at 09:12AM

When are you going to do some more on this -- the interview and the follow up?

Jie Xuan wrote on June 24th 08 at 05:50AM

Greg, you've got to let go. Like all other addictions, we have to let it go. Like all other idols, we have to smash it. Like all other people, "no temptation has seized you except what is common to man." - 1 Cor 10:13.
I have lusted, I have watched porn. Got sucked in. God helped me out, but it's not w/o a FIGHT. Against your own body, your own mind. And satan is leading the attack against it. ALL, I mean ALL the lustful thoughts are given by him.
Pray, submit to God and resist the devil.