SPAM AND THE SPAMMING SPAMMERS WHO SPAM YA
I started this blog entry in the very back seat of an airplane at 35,000 feet, where I found myself listening to Metallica's version of Turn the Page. Recently, on an adult industry message board, a former acquaintance posted a message to me to “Turn the Page” and then posted the lyrics to this song. He'd recently viewed footage of me from a news story on an Indianapolis television station website. On the adult boards, reactions to that clip were expectedly negative. Like any good tv story, this one was edited to get the very best “story” in the shortest amount of time. Bits and pieces of a rather long interview were shortened down to just a few minutes of airtime.
Gone was the part where I said, on camera, that I am not taking a stance against pornographers, nor do I want to shut down the porn industry. I believe in the rights we're afforded in this country. Those rights extend to every person, regardless of whether or not he/she agrees with Donny Pauling. It's not my right to dictate what any person can do with their life. Not even God himself does that. Were he into legislating rights, we'd still be living in the Garden of Eden, ignorant of many of the things that are now realities of our lives.
My goal, however, is to educate consumers. To tell all sides of the story. To make it very clear exactly what is being supported when a free porn site is visited or a subscription is purchased or a magazine is taken off the shelves. That, my friends, is MY right. And it is my opinion that if those in the porn world are as open minded as they claim, they'll value my rights as much as they treasure their own.
Porn and Pancakes events are one of the ways in which I've been given the opportunity to help shed light on an issue so many refer to as a “dark world”.
But I'm not here to preach to pornographers. I write today to dispel yet another myth that seems common place amongst “opponents” of porn. In my last blog entry I put a human face on those who make their living in the porn world. This one continues that theme.
Today I want to talk to you about spam.
As a side-note, I'm now sitting at the airport in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Earlier this morning I had the opportunity to speak in front of more than 400 Pastors and church staff members from across the country. It was a lot of fun. Now back to the blog at hand.
Over and over I've heard from various speakers, including XXXChurch co-founder Craig Gross, that “pornographers don't care if you're 9 or if you're 90”. The point usually being made is that they'll send spam to your box with blatant disregard to what your age might be. To me, that statement is far too general. It's kinda like the stereotype that all African Americans like chicken and watermelon: it's simply not true. While some African Americans do indeed enjoy chicken and watermelon, some do not (this has nothing to do with anything, but I personally love chicken and tolerate watermelon if I have to do so - chicken's very yummy, but watermelon's just a waste of stomach space).
What's my point?
My point, constant readers, is that while it's true some unscrupulous porn bulk emailers do indeed disregard all consideration and send mail without regard, I don't know of any legitimate porn companies that tolerate such practices. It's just bad business, and as I've mentioned in previous blog entries, most pornographers treat their profession just as any good business person would do. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying it's impossible that some major porn companies send spam. There are good people and bad people in every business.
So where does spam come from?
For the most part, spam comes from small operations. The biggest spammer I personally know operates all by himself, alone. We'll call him “Dan”, because that's the first name that popped into my head. I was a bit disappointed when I found out he was a spammer, because I really like Dan.
I'm now halfway through my flight, currently somewhere between Minnesota and Sacramento. Exactly where, I do not know.
Because spam is frowned upon within the industry, unless you're a trusted acquaintance you'd never know Dan “mails” (he doesn't refer to what he does as spamming, he prefers the term “mailing”). I knew him several years before he finally revealed to me what he does. Is he an uncaring monster? Not at all. He's very fun to be around, the life of the party. The man who makes everyone laugh.
Dan is also very lonely, but that's beside the point.
There's no way that Dan could ever know who is on the receiving end of his emails. It's not that he “doesn't care if you're 9 or if you're 90”, it's just that it's impossible to tell how old the person is on the receiving end of his mailings. If, for example, a person has agreed to “opt in” to a porn mailing list, there is no magical way for Dan to know whether or not the subscriber has lied about their age. Let's also concede that Dan likely purchases mailing lists from someone who may have illegally harvested those email addresses online. That's entirely possible, but Dan strongly prefers his email lists to be “clean” and from people who have “opted in” and agreed to have porn mailings sent to them.
I began getting sleepy on the plane so I didn't finish this on the flight home. I'm now sitting in my little studio apartment, listening to Michael Bublé's new album. It's quite good.
Let's think about this for a second: kids don't have credit cards . They have no way of making a purchase. And if they steal their parents' card, the charge will be reversed, which is very bad for adult business. The banks scrutinize the industry more than most other businesses. Charge reversals, also called “chargebacks”, are very bad. If an account exceeds a certain very-low percentage it is shut down. Chargebacks are to be avoided like the plague.
And, puh-leeze don't give me the BS line that pornographers want to get kids hooked on porn so that they'll eventually become a customer when they actually CAN make a purchase. Wanna know why that line of thinking is crap? Because nature takes care of that on its own . Porn's appeal is built in to the majority of the human population. We're sexual creatures.
I hate spam. I wish it didn't exist. I'd be very happy to see it legislated away. See, I'm all for free speech and allowing people to do as they pleased, but I don't see spam as “free speech”. I see it as someone contacting me without my permission. It infringes on MY rights. I didn't seek it out.
Still, my constant readers, the point I want to make with all of this is that people in the porn world are no different than you and I. Neither are spammers. They're not ogres. If we wish to change hearts we must realize that. It's way too easy to paint “those people” as monsters. I guess that's human nature as well. It's simply not true, though. Those people are... just people.
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(now comes some boring, mundane discussion on how I prevent spam from reaching me)
How can you protect yourself from porn spam? There are a million articles online that answer that question. Do a search for them. Frankly, I don't want to spend the time to list a bunch of spam prevention techniques. The thought of doing so is about as appealing as being a member of the President's Cabinet . But I'll be happy to tell you how I personally live a pretty much spam-free life:
-and-
Spam Arrest charges a fee ($19.95 for six months - after the free 30 day trial), but it works very well. How it works is that Spam Arrest becomes your mail server. As a Spam Arrest customer I can put my friends and acquaintances on a “safe list” and all of their mail will reach me. If, however, you're not on my safe list you'll receive an email back from me that says something like:
“Hey, this is Donny. I'm using spam arrest to protect my inbox from junk mail. Just this one time please click this link to verify that you're a real person"
Once you've done so, you're then added to my safe list and will never again have to do that. Since spammers use computers to generate their mailings, they'll never “verify” the mail they sent, and you'll never hear from them. Spam Arrest also allows users to login to your account and browse blocked mail, just in case you need to manually add a sender to your safe list. It works perfectly. I've been using it for a few years now.
I also use Gmail. Gmail is free and owned by Google. Their spam prevention techniques seem to work really well. I have a couple different Gmail accounts that I use regularly.
I recall, earlier, that you talked about a solution to the problem of underage kids looking at porn that doesn't take away anyone's rights, and you said "more on that later." When do we get to hear about that? I'm intrigued.
I'll write that article next. :)
- Donny -
I don't use gmail but I have been using Spamarrest for a year or so and it's BY FAR the best option I have ever seen to stop spam.
With that said....Could you all please post your email addresses in your responses from now on? I have a double opt in list I am working on for my mailer. ;)
Michael
The Confessions of A Porn Addict
I really enjoy your entries and was thrilled to see a new post. Keep up the good work. The thing I used to do was to keep one email address that I used when I knew I was going to get spam. I worked great. I just cleaned it out every so often and went on my merry way...
WOW! Talking about spam, real enlightening. NOT! Pointless blog. Do we really need to know where or who porn comes from? NO...we only need to know WHO IT IS that can help us out of it. JESUS
The name of this blog happens to be:
"THE INDUSTRY: A Look Inside the World of Porn with Donny Pauling."
What it is NOT titled:
"Jesus Saves Us: Another Person Rambling Like 5 Million Others Using Typical Church Rhetoric"
One of the points of this blog is to create understanding so that Christians see pornographers as real people instead of monsters. If more Christians begin seeing others as Jesus did, His message will definitely begin reaching more hearts.
Another is to educate those who are seeking help, because the realities of porn are nowhere near as attractive as the fantasies being presented. Looking inside the world of porn and seeing that reality empowers those who struggle.
If you're looking for typical Christian rhetoric I'd suggest looking to TBN or something similar. This blog will never be typical. I'll continue showing an insider's look into the world of porn.
To expound upon what Donny said, in internet troll lingo:
omfg ur retartid
In real-people language:
You're retarded.
Yeah, there's... really no other way to say it.
@Donny: Dude, you crack me up. :) Good job on this blog, by the way...
