A BLOG ABOUT A BLOG
So...
As I've been spending quality time seeking out God's will for my life, it's been amazing how much time I have found myself spending in the first two chapters of Genesis. It's almost as if God is saying, "If you wanna know my will is, go and see what life was like before sin entered the world." When you get some time, I really recommend you trying it, too because it really has changed my perspective on a lot of levels about a lot of things.
Anyway, as I've been reading about Adam and the Woman (Eve's name in the garden), I have found myself doing a lot of thinking about Adam...and his descendants. A few weeks ago, I wrote a devotional entitled, "Help Refusal" and it was about my take (via scripture) on why men make some things unnecessarily difficult for themselves, when God gave them HELP (that's us, ladies).
Last week, I came up on an article on Yahoo that gave one take on why. Long story short, it said that men would prefer to be alone than in a bad marriage.
Article Link: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080602/lf_nm_life/books_bachelors_dc
I actually think that is a really healthy perspective...except for one thing: HOW MANY MEN WOULD FEEL THAT WAY IF THEY WEREN'T GETTING SOME OF THE PERKS OF MARRIAGE...like, eh, sex.
I believe I've shared this quote before, but it bares repeating. After all, in the words of Earl Nightingale, "Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality."
In one of my all-time favorite books, "Sacred Sex" (Tim Alan Garder), the author quotes another author, M. Scott Peck from his book, "Further Along the Road Less Traveled":
"Sex is the closest that many people will ever come to a spiritual experience. Indeed, it is because it is a sexual experience of sorts that so many chase after it with a repetitive, desperate kind of abandon. Often, whether they know it or not, they are searching for God."
Because the Bible says that the Enemy is like a theif who comes to steal, kill and (as if that were not enough already) destroy (John 10:10), I wonder how many of us have looked at premarital sex as a way of taking true intimacy away from us. One of my favorite quotes of all time is "Where there is love, there is no sin". Since Romans 6:23 tells us that the wages of sin is death, I wonder how many of us are really thought about the fact that "making love" outside of marriage isn't making love at all; its making death.
Hmm...maybe that's why one of my exes---who isn't saved, mind you (yet), recently told me, "I would never sleep with you (again...we did many years ago) unless I was married to you. Guys sleep with girls they are comfortable with, not the ones they love because when you love someone, you don't want to ruin the relationship. With the girls you are comfortable with, you don't really care one way or another how it works out."
(I won't even get into how many women he has made himself "comfortable" with, but he claims to have only loved two women.)
Endearing...I guess. I mean, it is in the sense that he cares enough about me to restrain himself, but my question is, WHEN IS HE GONNA LOVE HIMSELF IN THAT SAME WAY? When is he gonna stop being "comfortable" with who he is and start "loving" himself enough to wait on a godly mate?
Which leads me to the blog I was referencing in the title.
I have a friend who is also a writer, single, 30-something and...let's just say really deserving of a godly king. We spend many days via email chatting about men, relationships, sex, God and how it all works together. Because we both desire to be married someday, sometimes we can't help but ask, "What the heck is their problem?"
Yahoo gave us one perspective, but Toya came up with another one that I thought was pretty cool. I Peter 3:12 (NKJV) tells us that the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are open to their prayers. If like me (and Toya), you are waiting on a mate and the rights and privileges of godly sex---the kind of sex that doesn't MAKE love, but CELEBRATES what's already present before a man lays one hand on you, I encourage you to check out Toya's blog. It definitely provides some good food for the soul.
...and something to do since we ladies like "helping" so much. :-)
Link to Blog: "Say A Little Prayer for You": http://www.blackgirlslikeus.blogspot.com/
Holla!
You brought up a really good point that "making love" outside of marriage is really making death. I have never really thought about it like that before. Putting it that way, who would want to make death? That just wouldn't make sense. That proves that you can only really make love inside of marriage. That's an encouragement to me to save myself for my future husband and to stop this vicious cycle of masturbation.
Death Sex by the Distillers
The Distillers Death Sex lyrics
Shoot your gun
Baby I come undone
I came so hard
I'd do it and do it again
The testaments a bloody knife
The rotting meats the butcher's wife
I eat myself stupid I starve myself
Smart I thought she was a crow
Cuz she cried tomorrow tomorrow
You have to be kidding me.
So every other species in the world isn't doing what they are genetically programmed to do, they are making death? Right.. good one.
Next scare tactic please.
I honestly can count ZERO. The only good thing about promoting abstinence is the chance of lowering STD's and unwanted pregnancies and so forth.
But suggesting that if you have sex out of wedlock you're surely going to die? Thats just wrong.
When we all know they live just as long and as full a life as those of you who believe that sex out of wedlock is a death penalty.
Wouldn't divorce only exist in the marriages of those outside of Christianity?
With that said, I don't think you can just *die* in the physical sense. I was sexually for years and I am here to write this blog, so obviously it didn't kill me in that way, but emotionally and spiritually, in many ways, "dying" is exactly what happened. I am just now seeing who I was meant to be because I am no longer caught up in the web of sex, lust, men, heartbreak. I am living proof of why abstinence, for singles, is best. What I fear is that people are so caught up in the physical "pay offs" of sex, that they forget that it serves a greater purpose: oneness between a man and his wife.
As it relates to your question about why is it that Christian marriages end in divorce, first of all, let's not be ignorant of the fact that it's not only Christians who support abstinence. These are also written in Jewish and Muslim laws. With that said, marriages are not just made up of just sex...marriages end for many reasons. A wise man once said that good sex in a marriage is 10% of a marriage and bad sex is 90% because the bedroom reflects the entire house. Sex *is* about pleasure, but it's also about celebrating a spiritual and emotional connection.
I do think it's a poor witness that so many Christians are divorcing these days because the Bible also says that God hates that (Malachi 2:16), but to be honest with you, that is another matter entirely; it's a different issue than what I addressed in this message. Maybe God will lead me to blog about it one day soon, though.
Thanks for the thoughts and the passion.
"@Chris. OK, it always tickles me when people come here to debate the foundation of the Bible, when this is a MINISTRY website. This means that yes, what I...or all of us for that matter, share is based on the Word of God and according to the Word of God (2 Timothy 3:16), sex outside of marriage is sinful (Galatians 5:19-21) and yes, when you are habitually practicing these acts, death is the ultimate consequence."
Death is the ultimate consequence to life. It makes no difference what you do in life, death will always be the consequence.
"With that said, I don't think you can just *die* in the physical sense. I was sexually for years and I am here to write this blog, so obviously it didn't kill me in that way, but emotionally and spiritually, in many ways, "dying" is exactly what happened. I am just now seeing who I was meant to be because I am no longer caught up in the web of sex, lust, men, heartbreak. I am living proof of why abstinence, for singles, is best. What I fear is that people are so caught up in the physical "pay offs" of sex, that they forget that it serves a greater purpose: oneness between a man and his wife."
In other words the guilt associated with sex outside of marriage is a mental issue, not a spiritual one.
And the purpose of sex is not for pleasure, it's for procreating. The physical and oneness aspect of it is just a benefit... a very nice benefit, but that still is not the purpose of sex like you have said.
"As it relates to your question about why is it that Christian marriages end in divorce, first of all, let's not be ignorant of the fact that it's not only Christians who support abstinence. These are also written in Jewish and Muslim laws. With that said, marriages are not just made up of just sex...marriages end for many reasons. A wise man once said that good sex in a marriage is 10% of a marriage and bad sex is 90% because the bedroom reflects the entire house. Sex *is* about pleasure, but it's also about celebrating a spiritual and emotional connection."
By the way, Atheist and Agnostics also support abstinence.
And who is to determine when a couple is married anyway? If the couple in question both commit completely to each other and vow to stay together for as long as they can live would they not be married? Or do they have to go before the JOP first, then a minister, to be "married"? The marriage is between the two in question, it has nothing to do with anyone else.
"I do think it's a poor witness that so many Christians are divorcing these days because the Bible also says that God hates that (Malachi 2:16), but to be honest with you, that is another matter entirely; it's a different issue than what I addressed in this message. Maybe God will lead me to blog about it one day soon, though.
Thanks for the thoughts and the passion. "
God hates?
Or maybe you'll be compelled to blog about it soon.
As far as deleting you, unless you had said something incredibly crass and/or offensive, I had no intentions on removing your comments just because your belief system is different from mine. That is rude, unnecessary and to be, when people do that, it comes off as being insecure.
However, I don't think I would go on an atheist's site and start up a "healthy debate" with them. I went in aware of (for the most part) where they stand. It's like going to someone's house and telling them how ugly the decor is. It's their house and whatever they want to do with it, I respect it. I don't have to agree to respect. And I certainly can't move anyone to my view by "attacking" (which is the word that you used for what you are doing).
With that said, here we go (again, my last post so please don't feel ignored if you should choose to respond in the future. I will let the other readers address this with you if they so choose):
According to the Bible, if you live a life, if you live a HABITUAL life of sin, yes, the consequence is death. I listed a scripture to support this in my previous post.
As far as the guilt being associated with sex outside of marriage, I think more times than not, yes it is a mental AND emotional feeling...but those two things help to make up your spirituality, so...I think for a Christian, there is guilt that is associated with it because they are supposed to have the same belief system that I do...that sex outside of marriage, according to the Word of God, is wrong. When you displease God, because you were made in his image (Genesis 1:26-27), I think there is a sense of betrayal and brokenness that you experience. A broken spirit, to me, is worse than a physical death. But either way, a definition of death is "loss of life". We believe that Christ came to give us abundant life (John 10:10) and so anything less than that, because of a decision that we made contrary to his will for our lives...on some level, is a death.
Yes, there are faith systems all over the world that support abstinence. Actually bringing that up helps my side of the debate more than yours, Chris...
I do not agree at all that sex is simply for the purpose of procreating. There are couples all over the world who get married and don't desire children, people who can't have children, people who are beyond childbearing age and still, the gift of sex is open to them. As a matter of fact, the Bible says that they should not withhold from one another unless they have made a mutual decision to fast and pray for a season (I Corinthians 7:5). To me, this not only means that they CAN but SHOULD. Also, when sex was introduced to Adam and his wife, the proclamation that followed was "So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body. The man and wife were naked and not ashamed." (Genesis 2:24-25) It does not say, "and they were naked so they could get pregnant." We are not sure just how long they were in the Garden of Eden before they sinned and Eve didn't get pregnant until after then. If the purpose is solely for procreation, then I'm sure, especially since she was in her perfected state in the Garden, that pregnancy would have been immediate. Yes, we are to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:22), but both purposes---pleasure and procreation---go hand in hand. But, based on the Word, the greatest purpose is creating oneness. Sex makes two people one.
God hates. Uh, yes. The scripture I provided in Malachi is a direct quote: "I HATE DIVORCE". A spirit that loves, in this case, our Heavenly Father, I'm sure has an "intense dislike, or extreme aversion or hostility" towards anything that harms his children; LIKE SIN...and BROKENNESS.
When a couple is married. There are scriptures that support obeying the laws of the land. Here, in America, in this day and age, a couple needs legal documentation to be considered married. "Couples vowing to stay together...shouldn't that be enough?" No, it's not. That's called living together. Being "married in the mind" doesn't make it so. I am a Black woman. Being "white in the mind" wouldn't make it so. It is what it is and in this life, you must take vows before God and the government (through legal documentation) to be acknowledged as husband and wife.
OK Chris, it's been real. :-) Thanks for helping me brush up on my forensics skills...and for making it...lively on the site today.
Have a good one.
well yeah it dont really mean any thing!
but when I listen to it it reminds me about what you said and when people say about making death and how sex can = death (Death Sex!) when proper Sex is really meant to = Life
