A LOVE LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER

“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him.’

From the ground God formed every wild animal and every bird in the sky, and he brought them to the man so the man could name them. Whatever the man called each living thing, that became its name.  The man gave names to all the tame animals, to the birds in the sky, and to all the wild animals. But Adam did not find a helper that was right for him.   So the Lord God caused the man to sleep very deeply, and while he was asleep, God removed one of the man's ribs. Then God closed up the man's skin at the place where he took the rib.  The Lord God used the rib from the man to make a woman, and then he brought the woman to the man.

And the man said, ‘Now, this is someone whose bones came from my bones,
whose body came from my body. I will call her 'woman,' because she was taken out of man.’

So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body.  The man and his wife were naked, but they were not ashamed.”---Genesis 2:18-25 (NCV)

Single Ladies (and if you’re not a single woman, please forward it to someone who is):

I wanted to share something with you that God shared with me recently in my prayer time.  I could “go deep”, but let’s just say that a one month shy of 34 and a “too long of a time in my book” bout of abstinence, I found myself in tears as I went to the Father about just when “he” was coming and why he was taking so long.  God is so good.  He led me to the Garden of Eden.  Why?  Well, while there are many beautiful stories of love found in the Bible (Hosea and Gomer being one of my favorites), none of them were created in a state of perfection.  Only Adam and the Woman can attest to falling in love outside of the atmosphere of sin; God’s initial plan for his children.

Now, the revelation comes in two parts.  First, I wanted to reveal what God showed me as it related to the Scriptures.  Take a moment and reread the verses above found in Genesis.  The beautiful thing about the Word is that it has the ability to speak to you where you are.  In one season, you can receive one message and in another season in your life, you can receive another. (God is deep like that!)  At this time, this is what I discovered:

1)      Psalm 37:4 says that if you delight in the Lord, he will grant your heart’s desires.   Why is it a good idea to desire a man with a heart for God?  Because it is in communing with the Creator that a man not only receives his earthly assignment, but he is placed into a stage of mate preparation.  According the story, Adam did not decide that it was time to no longer be alone, and as much as we like to romanticize the story, nowhere does it say that Adam was “lonely” and asked God for a mate.  It says that GOD DETERMINED AFTER ADAM WAS GIVEN A PURPOSE (and we are not even clear on how long that took, really) that it was not good for him to be without help. (Genesis 2:18)  Again, Adam did not make that call.  God did.

2)      God caused Adam to fall into a state of sleep before he began creating the Woman.  Now, check out some of these definitions of the word, “sleep”: “to take the rest afforded by a suspension of voluntary bodily functions and the natural suspension, complete or partial, of consciousness; cease being awake”; “a natural and periodic state of rest during which consciousness of the world is suspended”; “to relinquish a claim (of a process on a multitasking system) for service”; “to indicate to the scheduler that a process may be deactivated until some given event occurs or a specified time delay elapses”; “to be dormant, quiescent, or inactive, as faculties”; “to rest”.  I think this is something that a lot of us miss.  Adam didn’t fall asleep, GOD PUT HIM TO SLEEP.  God found it necessary for there to be a period of time when he would appear to be “dormant” or “inactive”, at least in the natural sense. (Genesis 2:21)  So, the men who seem like they don’t have a clue?  There may be something to that!

3)      The Woman was formed from one of Adam’s ribs.  What does a rib do?  It supports the body and it protects the heart.  According to Genesis 2:21, after God took one of his ribs, he closed up the flesh in its place.  Then in verse 22, he began forming the woman.  So, it would lead us to believe that what he took out of Adam to make the Woman left a void that only he could fill/fix/repair and he fixed it before forming the Woman; a healing time was necessary.  In other words, when it comes to receiving a blessing, sometimes what appears to be a gruesome or grueling part of the process is actually vital and necessary.

4)      The Woman was brought to Adam.  Genesis 2:22 tells us that after God made the Woman, he then presented her to the man.  Is it just me or does it sound like there was a period of distance between the two while God was making preparations?  God could have easily laid the Woman beside Adam, but the Scriptures read like she was formally presented to Adam.

5)      It’s not clear how Adam was awakened to receive the Woman.  All the Word says is that when the Woman was brought to him, he began to praise her saying, “Now, this is someone whose bones came from my bones, whose body came from my body. I will call her 'woman,' because she was taken out of man."  What is the purpose for bones in the body?  It frames it, right?  So, the Woman was made from a substance that framed Adam.  How did Adam know that she came from his bones if he was asleep?  I don’t think any of us know for sure, but my guess would be that one, he knew something in his body, his life, as a single man, was no longer the same and two, his level of spiritual discernment gave him an uncanny level of wisdom. (Another reason why a godly man is ideal.)

Now, let me explain how this all works together.  I journal a lot.  Sometimes I find myself writing what I want to say and then sometimes, I know a force far greater is at work.  This is what my Father shared with me about his daughter.  Let me preface it by saying that in January a woman told me that Psalm 126 (you know, the chapter that contains, “Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy” in it) would be my Scripture for 2008. (Which may explain all of the crying that I’ve been doing!)  I say this to say, don’t question the process.  Trust it.

My Daughter,

You are right where you are supposed to be.  So many people have theories and insights on how couples are to come together and the truth is that many miss it by interpreting what they want rather than what I choose.  A man pursuing, a girl refusing, these are not necessarily the optimal conditions for mate selection.  Adam did not “pursue” the Woman, nor did she spend her time creating ways to make it challenging for him to do so.  Just like one’s purpose or date of birth and death, it is I who determines the “who, when, and where” of authentic and spirit-led matrimony and intimacy.  It is the responsibility of both parties to follow as I, and I only lead.

You are not waiting on some man to “get his act together” or “see you for who you really are”, and no matter how it may appear to you in the physical realm, in the spiritual sense, “he” is right on schedule; my schedule.  You are not to be listening to what man says, no matter what form the voice may reveal itself (media, tradition, statistics, naysayers, etc.).  Remember, I decided when it was time for Adam to receive the miracle of female assistance and so if you have an issue with physical time, don’t take that up with anyone other than me; even then, know that I have your best interest at heart.  Far too many of my daughters are consuming themselves with fear and anxiety about things that are really none of their concern.  My ways are not your ways and until I unite you with the one you are purposed to benefit, his whereabouts and activities are not to be a priority to you.  If you have not been joined to him yet, it’s simply because it’s not the right moment.  He is not ready and neither are you.  There are finishing touches that must be placed on you both and no matter how you may feel or what you might think, I am a God of order.  I will not be pressured to move outside of my plan.

I know it must be hard.  Flesh never likes to submit to my will.  But please let me continue to mold you.  Before you ever existed, you were hand-selected for someone and that has not changed.  As the Creator, I am excited about my handiwork.  Don’t go looking for answers to questions you are not able to conceptualize or present in a way that will intimidate me to react or respond.  As I did with your parents, let me have the pleasure of presenting you as a gift to your mate.  Ask your mother and father if they will ever forget the first time they saw your face.  I want “him” to experience a similar thrill.  If you want to channel out your energies, get excited about how excited I am about you; about how blessed I know he will be to have you!

Again, don’t concern yourself about the time.  I am timeless.  Concern yourself instead with remaining in my hands so that I can perfect you to be all that he needs, so that when it’s the right moment, there will be no fear, no hesitation, no question that you are indeed the one that he is meant to live out with rest of his days on the earth with.  Far too many women are not praised on their wedding day by their husbands in the way I would’ve liked because they did not allow me the opportunity to complete them to be what was required, and the man was not discerning enough to know the true purpose that his companion was meant to serve in his life. 

I want more for you.  Love me enough to let me give it to you.  Just as you are to be a blessing to him, he is to be provider and protector for you; he is to bless you as well in ways even your prayers have yet to articulate, but in my infinite wisdom, I know you deserve.

Remember, above all else that, like faith, marriage is a spiritual union.  This is the time to remove yourself from your senses, from what the physical is telling you and tap into your spirit.  This is when you can please me most by standing and believing that I am true to my Word, even when you don’t see, feel or hear evidence of its manifestation. The spirit always moves at what you all call “light years” ahead of the flesh.  It takes it some time to catch up. (Hebrews 11:6)  Be patient. (I Corinthians 13:4)

Stay in my will and I will show you the way---a way that leads to love, bliss and happiness.  A place where you will feel naked and not ashamed…until death parts you.  A place where your future husband will restfully await you.

I love you.  Be still and know.  Really know.  I do.

Your Heavenly Father

©Shellie R. Warren/2008