SPIRITUAL INCEST

So...

Here's a pretty icky thought but a HUGE light bulb moment.  A couple of nights ago, I was thinking about sex, fornication, abstinence and the consequences that come with it all as it relates to single living.  I mean, while I know that going without is what God requires of me (Ephesians 5:3), oftentimes my inquisitive mind wants reasons other than "because it's for married folks" or "because I said so".

This is why I love scriptures like, "‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’" (Jeremiah 33:3) and "Come let us reason together". (Isaiah 1:18)  Contrary to some people's twisted belief system, God loves dialoguing with his children and when you ask, he will answer.  Maybe not at the time you would wish or in the way you would like, but he will answer nonetheless.

Anyway, as I was praying about receiving another reason to hang in this "going without game", God took me to the following two scriptures:

"Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing."---I Peter 3:8-9 (NKJV)

and

"So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God."---Philippians 1:9-11 (Message)

OK.  What is it that we believers tend to call one another?  Brothers and sisters, right?  Now, let's take it out of the spiritual sense for just a moment.  When someone sleeps with their sibling, what is that called?  Incest.  Going deeper, what is one of the biggest problems that comes with sleeping with someone close to you in your gene pool?  Serious, life-damaging health risks for what is potentially birthed from the union; one of the issues being congenital defects---HEART ISSUES.

Hmph.  Now let's go back to the spiritual side of things.  I wonder how many of us have taken the time to think of fornication in this way.  If God wants us to consider one another as brothers and sisters in Christ, then it would appear that not only does marriage give people the right and blessing to have sex with one another (I Corinthians 7:3-4), but it also performs the miracle of turning two believers from "brother and sister" into "husband and wife". (Mark 10:7-9)

Let's take it a bit deeper.  If a brother and sister sleeping together in the physical sense is known to put them at risk for serious psychological issues and their children in harm's way for (at the very least), heart problems (that's so deep to me!), no wonder so many of us suffer the way that we do when we engage in pre-marital sex.

Let me put it another way.  As I was sharing this revelation with a friend of mine last Friday, I said, "What happens when two people have a child due to incest?"  He said, "They have retarded children."  My response?  "Then what do you think happens when two people have sex outside of wedlock?"  He said, "They create retarded spirits."

BAM!

And how do we know this to be true?  Because James 1:14-16 (NKJV) tells us so:

"But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren."

Some of us right now are suffering because of the "retarded spirits" that we created as a direct result of the "spiritual incest" that we've committed.  When something is retarded, it's "delayed"; "impeded"; mental and emotional development slows down, and progress is delayed.  A powerful synonym for "retarded" is "backward" with the understanding of "having only a limited ability to learn and understand."

You've been sleeping with a guy (or gal) who won't commit.  You have created a retarded spirit.

You rely on "casual sex" to make you feel better about yourself, but you realize in the long run that it only makes you feel worse.  You have created a retarded spirit.

You had sex with one of your best friends and now you can't stand each other, but you can't put your finger on why.  You have created a retarded spirit.

Yuck.  Double yuck.  (I know, right?)

Now, because I am made up of flesh and spirit (Galatians 5:17), the physical side of me must admit that this newfound revelation may not 100% cure me of the desire to not want to wait until my "miracle marriage". (The flesh cares about acts, not consequences.)  After all, while the spirit is willing, the flesh is indeed weak (Mark 14:38). BUT when it comes to the spirit realm, I now see why God finds the act of fornication to be so grotesque.  I also understand why there are very few LONG LASTING success stories that comes from engaging in it (and even the ones that do, they almost always have "retarded spirits" to deal with) and why when we walk in the Spirit, we do not fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Galatians 5:16). 

I mean, really.  In the physical sense, when was the last time you were "weak in the knees" for your big sister or little brother?  Now apply that same reaction to your spiritual family.  Sleeping with your brother and sister in Christ?  Suddenly, that seems just as disgusting, doesn't it?

Yeah, talk about gettin' a good enough reason to hold out.  It doesn't get any better (or worse) than incest.

A good father doesn't want his children sleeping together---physically or spiritually.

Yeah, God.  I hear you.  LOUD AND CLEAR.  Thanks for answering.

Sherrie wrote on April 28th 08 at 09:00AM

Awesome article. I had never thought of it this way but it makes sense.

Shellie R. Warren wrote on April 28th 08 at 09:13AM

@Sherrie. Yeah, I never really thought about it like that, either. God will definitely speak in a way that will get our attention. This got mine!

Laura wrote on April 28th 08 at 12:59PM

Thank you Shellie! I have been trying to explain why premarital sex damages a person in so many ways, to my Christ following single friends. I know so many 20 something woman that 'love the Lord' but yet are sleeping with their "Christian" boyfriends. I will share your insightful truths with them and pray they will stop believing the enemy's lies.

Mathew wrote on April 29th 08 at 08:26AM

This is a good article, though written for women, I ended up reading it and agreeing to what is said.

I am supposedly a "christian" man and have fornicated and watch porn...I need help to come out, I need prayer support....Please help GOD!!

Shellie R. Warren wrote on May 5th 08 at 09:38PM

@Laura. Send them to the next post. :-) Also, if you get a chance, read the one I sent to Mathew (right above yours).

Shellie R. Warren wrote on May 5th 08 at 09:45PM

@ Mathew. Do you know that you inspired an entire devotional? (If you want to read it, send your email address to shellie@x3church.com and I'll forward it along). Bottom line, it gets to me when people call themselves "Christian" just because they are struggling in an area. It almost implies that one, Christians are perfect and two, Christ didn't come FOR SINNERS. Both are lies...I John 1:10 says that if we say we have not sinned, we make our Lord out to be a liar and his word is not in us.

I think I understand what you meant when you said you were "supposedly a Christian", but just the fact that you confessed your sin and asked for prayer, you are farther than a lot of people you share pews with (TRUST ME). Being a follower of Christ simply means that you know you can't do it---any of it. on your own and it's by the gift of God through Christ's blood that grace for EVERY SIN is made available.

No condemnation in Christ, my dear. (Romans 8:1)

Now people? That's something else. :-)

Jamal wrote on May 6th 08 at 10:43PM

That is deep sister. That revelation just hit me as hard as a sledgehammer. I would not have that of it like that.
Now that really explains more about the empty expressions I have witnessed in the past. Thank you for sharing that Shellie. Though that is a tough subjest to swallow, that was something I needed to hear.

Todd wrote on September 28th 08 at 10:20PM

Just stumbled into this blog. Although porn has become a very rare temptation for me now (Gods doing, not mine), I still struggle with my eyes. Even (especially) in church women wear inappropriate clothing not realizing what this does, how it tempts mens eyes to linger. Your very analogy to these women being my sisters in Christ is how I deal with the issue. By the same token, would women who wear shirts too low or skirts too high, wear these things to a family reunion? What many women consider 'cute', many men consider a temptation easily givin in to. Even honorable women who wear a loosely fitting unprovocative blouse think nothing of bending over in front of a brother for whatever reason. Guess what pointed directly at me?! Where my eyes go is my choice alone, not blaming anyone else for giving into sin. But I would not invite a recovering alcholic to a 4th of July party and start hauling out coolers full of adult beverage either. Once heard it said that women should dress in clothes tight enough for men to realize they are a women, but loose enough for that same man to know they are a lady. Bending over at the waist or not (my words). Thanks for listening