I'm Having a hard time, even with things so great

Hi,
I'm turning 20 soon, I met the girl of my dreams, and it really seems like I will be getting engaged, She's a great christian girl who has brought me closer to God, and reminded me how much I need Jesus back in my life. However prior to this, I'm a virgin and I'm okay with that most of the time, but my biggest problem is urges to move past that, though originally and still for the most part want to wait until marriage, my problem though has been for a long time, and i've realized this is that i use this as an excuse to watch pornography, and i don't feel any better after watching it, i feel dissapointed, like i let myself down, God down, the people around me down, and her down. I really want to overcome this. I have so much going well for me in my life, that I really do not want this to hold me back, but for some reason, i keep slipping back, thinking "one more time couldn't hurt", but the truth is, it does hurt, it hurts me to think about, and its gotten to the point where the images repeat in my head, i'm sick of seeing them, i'm beyond tired of this problem i have, and I ask God for help a lot. But i keep making mistakes.

Pornography addiction is a serious problem, and we want to help. We have helpful free tools like accountability software to aid your recovery from addictions to porn and sex addiction.

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