Parents - Confessions - XXXchurch

battling porn

User Submitted — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:27:00 -0700

I have no excuses to offer. I have sinned against the lord
many times by looking at pornography .I struggle thru
each day resisting and resisting then I completely mess
up. it usually takes a while but I find myself feeling
overwhelmed and lose all train of thought and wham there
I,am again.I know what I have to do please pray for me
that I make the right choice. I desperately need victory
over this,

I know I need help

User Submitted — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 15:22:22 -0700

Hello, my name is Aaron, I am 15 years old and saw my first porn at the age of 11. I have always had really easy access to porn on my internet because there are no blockers and I can delete history. Time after time I find myself trying to quit looking at porn but I continue to give into temptation. Right now I feel really far away from God. I know that I am sinning and letting him down and I seem to fine myself not caring. I need to find the strength to drop the porn and seek to God for help. I know whats right and I know what I need to do. I feel that if I can drop the porn I will be able to restore my relationship with god and get my life back on track. pray for me please.

Help with the TALK

User Submitted — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:23:41 -0700

I have recently found out that my 11yr old sister has been looking at porn online. Her Mom doesn't know about it or wouldn't know what to do but yell at her. She doesn't understand how to use the computer very well. I plan on walking her through some ways she can filter the content on her computer. but I need help with the TALK. how do you have this conversation with an 11yr old? she is the baby of the family and i doubt her mom thinks there is a problem. i've learned over time and through many battles myself how to listen and encourage instead of judge. please give me some advice in how to talk to her and what i should ask.
thanks so much
sarah

not sure what to do..

User Submitted — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 14:08:24 -0800

This may be in the wrong section or maybe wrong of me to post this but I am looking for some answers if they exist out there. I know I am not a perfect parent and have my own secrets and problems and I am trying to deal with those as well.

Recently I have confronted my son viewing material on the web - this has not been the first time. The nature of what I caught him with troubles me and as I search for answers maybe someone out there in cyberspace can help me. My son has been viewing other men. Not sure of the specific age group but young, well built, I would even go as far as saying good looking model type men. Some are kissing and some are just posing. I am not sure yet if there are porn sites as I have not found a way to ask. I plan to talk more with him about this but thought maybe there are others out there with some thoughts.
He says that this is not what he wants to do or be like but finds arousal when he views this material. The filter system I have did not block out this type of material and I am not sure if xwatch would have logged it.
How does one change the habits of ones lifestyle?
I do not know how long this has been going on for it may be years I am not sure.
I have been praying about this, fasted twice for some kind of revalation and I am no closer to any understanding or ideas.
I am finding it hard to come to grips with as I plan to talk to him in the next day or so.

So, I guess any thoughts or guidance would be appreciated.

My son is struggling too...

User Submitted — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 07:47:53 -0800

I wouldn't say I'm a porn addict, but I've had my lapses here and there, My New Year's resolution is to have a porn-free 2009 (so far, so good!).

Tonight, when I went to log my 14-year-old son into his Myspace and Facebook accounts, a porn site came up in his history list. He confessed straightway and his mom and I had a good talk with him about why that's a road he doesn't want to go down. We're upping the supervision (the computer's in my bedroom, but we've been letting him and his sister be in there w/the door closed), and I installed x3watch both there and on my laptop. I'll get his accountability reports, and my wife will get mine. Please pray that we'll both stay pure this year!

Porn vs. Pure Passion

User Submitted — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 20:58:11 -0800

I was in sixth grade when I was over at a friend's house and saw porn for the first time. I am now 19 and a sophmore in college, and I have had a constant struggle with pornography ever since that night (roughly 8 years). With my pornography addiction came habitual masturbation, which continued whether I was using pornography or not. I always knew that what I was doing was wrong, but for a long time I lacked the understanding to really start fighting my temptation. Throughout my life I have fallen for all sorts of deceptions, all of them acting as a means to justify what my soul was telling me was the wrong thing.
Within the past year or so I have learned 3 very important truths that have helped me fight against this temptation more than ever.

1. God created us with a drive and desire not just for sex and reproduction, but for sexual intimacy. God's purpose for sex is not just for physical pleasure, but for emotional and spiritual fullfillment within a relationship. C.S. Lewis describes bad behavior (aka sin) as trying to attain good things (pleasure, love, power, comfort) in the wrong way. I have realized that pornography and masturbation have been my misguided attempts to gain pleasure and love, but what I have not realized until now is that the pleasure and the love that is in store for me if I follow God's will and trust Him are far greater.

2. The only possible victory over pornography and lust comes by the strength of God. God has a place for sex in your life, but it is reserved for the purity and passion of the marriage bed (two shall become one flesh). The self-control, the patience, the endurance, and the love that is necessary to abstain from sexual sin does not come from you. All that is true and lovely and beautiful comes from the Father, and so to fight off darkness you must pray pray pray. Pray with Him all of the time. Tell Him your struggles, tell him your desires. I have told myself many times that I am done with pornography only to fall into the same hole again. It was because I was trying to do it on my own, on God's behalf. But that is not what God wants. Through Christs atonement, our temptations, guilt, and regret are carried. He bears that burden for us. His limitless grace and strength is sufficient for us.

3. God is light, and in him there is no hint of darkness. Do not attempt to conceal your sin. I have done so for so long, and there are times where I still think to do it again, but if I do I am walking in darkness. I am a sinner saved by the grace of our amazing father, and if there is any trace of darkness in my life, it must be illuminated and made known so that God's light can work to eliminate it. Therefore, confess your sins to fellow Christian men (most of which endure the same struggle), not just to God. By concealing my sin from those whom I loved around me, I was letting the darkness spread. I was concealing it from God as well, for I did not allow him to illuminate my sin even though I knew that he knew.

God has been incomprehensibly merciful to me, as I see looking back on my life. About six months ago He took me out of a very sinful relationship that was destroying my walk, since then he has taught me so much through those mistakes. I was dating this girl for six months, and during that time I struggled less with pornography because of my passion for her, which eventually developed into a very physical relationship. My sin changed its outlet; though I loved her (and by that I justified myself), our physical relationship was still a sin. The reason why I did not feel that it was as much of a sin at the time is because it was much different than pornography; my passionate love fueled my desire for sex. But it was still lust. I had made my decision apart from God to date this girl, who was not a Christian, and I made the decision to get involved with her sexually without him as well. The reason why it was lust was b/c I had no right to her body, and she had none to mine. God has saved me and his spirit lives inside of me, and my body is his temple and belongs to Him. I will never become physically involved with someone again, until I have been given permission by the father. Until God gives me to a beautiful companion and her to me as well. I still struggle with impure thoughts (that lead to porn or masturbation), but I know that I can conquer that sin through God's strength. I write this confession for those of you who may be experiencing the same things, and I want you to know that God has a purpose for your life, and relationships & sex are a part of that. Anyone who reads this, please pray for me that I may have patience and self control. I pray the same for you as well.

It could have been worse.

User Submitted — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 20:45:28 -0800

For years as a teen I was fascinated with porn. None of it seemed so bad and it gave me a great feeling. I soon learned that it began to have a hold on me that I could not shake on my own. Even when I became a Christian it still had some power in my life.

Once I became a husband and a father, it needed to be eliminated but I just couldn't get rid of it. At one point I was going to strip clubs and spending hours on the internet giving in to the urges that seemed to control me.

One day I made the choice to get this monkey off my back for good. I did everything I could think of to try to purify my life from this monster that followed me everywhere I went. Then I realized that I was trying to do it by myself, through my own power. I had always asked God to save me from it but I kept inviting the monster back into my life.

God finally showed me that HE was the only power that could eliminate the monster. I didn't have to do anything other than accept His forgiveness and stay in His presence. It never occurred to me that God didn't condemn me for doing what I did. I was the one putting myself in a place of guilt and depression over this. Once I could recognize that the monster only had power over me when I gave it to him, the monster had no more power.

I made that decision to turn away and stay away years ago. Some times it comes back to tempt m but the temptation isn't as exciting for me as getting close to God and seeing what He can do through me and for me.

Beat the monster, don't spank the monkey.

Porn Dream

User Submitted — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 08:10:23 -0700

As a young girl, age 7 & above, I was exposed to porn a lot & molested. I grew up to be very promiscuous, a run away & pregnant at 16. I became a Christian a yr or so later, got pregnant again & married. Even though I was a Christian, I was unfaithful early on in my marriage & lacked any true knowledge of love. That was 12 yrs ago now & praise God we're still together. About 4-5 yrs ago, we took some youth on a Bible Quiz Tournament in Las Vegas. For some reason I was dreading the trip but trying to act OK. While we were there, I saw a sign for a nude bar or something & it hit me like a ton of bricks, God revealed to me what he'd saved me from......When I was a little girl I wanted to be one of those ladies when I grew up.
I had forgotten all about that until that trip. God is good!

Need Prayer

User Submitted — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 15:54:32 -0700

My daughter was into porn and from there went down a very bad road. She started stripping, escorting, to tell you the truth I don't know what all she got into but she did get in some trouble. She's going through some rehab and has court tomorrow...

She may do some prison time. I can't afford an attorney so she will have to have a public defender. People keep telling me they don't do anything for their clients.

She is 19... Please pray for God's will in her life, she's trying to get back on her feet, and pray for strength for me...

In November the rape trial will also start...

Desperate HouseHusband

User Submitted — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 17:16:07 -0700

I have been rid and free from porn when I got married. I learned the hard way. My girlfriend was 5 months pregnant when I got married. And to top that I had to confess to almost everyone I know. And in my country it was a devastating blow to me and my family. I have never been closer to God all my life by that event. that was two years ago. A few months ago I fell and after that it was all downhill I have fallen from grace. And now I`m clawing my self up agin. I feel so distance from God I`m desperate, I have tried everything I know. Confessing all over again did not help, Fasting also, I am desperate for God. I pray and nothingness is all I get. Help me none can save me but God. Please save me from this dreadful situation. I feel like cheating on my wife and not being the father I supposed to be.

I'm sorry I watched pornography

User Submitted — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:14:58 -0700

hi my name is Tyler and I'm sorry i watched people do bad thing's on mom and dads computer. I asked Jesus to forgive me and i still feel bad so said i should confess my sins. My parents love me and don't want me to be hurt.

the test of porn

User Submitted — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 07:07:11 -0700

i have now and then a problem with porn. this started before i was married and then after my divorce ten years later. it starts and stops. only recently have i discovered this web site and i find it a great encouragment.