Pure Eyes: A Men's Guide to Sexual Integrity
Chapter 7 - Grab Your Shovel

"Daily Prayer"

As you understand the true nature of Scripture, your prayers will have much deeper meaning to both you and God. In following God’s scriptural expectations for you, you will have the confidence and certainty of heart to ask God openly for the blessings he promises his followers. Conversely, when you have failed to meet God’s expectations as revealed through Scripture (and you will!), you can boldly come before God in prayer to accept the forgiveness he so generously provides.

So how does all of this play out in practice? Many men feel as if they have lost so much ground with God that they have no right to pray to him. Sometimes they feel they don’t know how to pray “correctly” or “fervently enough,” and it inhibits their connection with God.

Please don’t put so much pressure on yourself! God wants to meet you right where you are. He wants to talk with you, he wants to show you his love, and he wants to listen to you. Like the lover in Song of Songs 2:14, God wants to “hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.” Isaiah 30:18–19 reads: “Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.”

If you don’t know how to approach God in prayer, simply come to him as your loving and caring Father and thank him for all he has done and ask him for what you need. You can pray something like this: “Lord, thank you for being my Father. Thank you for being a good God who cares for me and loves me. Thank you for sending your Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross so that I could be made free. Thank you, Jesus, for dying for my sins. Lord, I give you everything I am—my talents and my sins. I freely submit to you and ask that you give me strength today to make the most of what you have given me and resist and overcome temptation. In Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.”

Your goal in prayer is not to pray perfectly or correctly (because there’s no right way), it is just to acknowledge that God is your Father and that you are after his will. Open yourself to his leading by the Holy Spirit and remind yourself that God is in control of your life, not you. And most of all, ask God for his direction and deliverance—he wants so much more for you than you want for yourself. “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time
of need” (Heb. 4:16).

Be sure to pray daily, and you may want to pray many times a day to keep you aware of the fact that God is near and is
ready to help you

To Order your copy of Pure Eyes: A Men's Guide to Sexual Integraty, please visit Amazon.com and get your copy today.
You can also download a copy of the book for $10 at www.eyesofintegrity.com

Steve Oh

LoveJesus.LovePeople

Pure Eyes: A Men's Guide to Sexual Integrity
Chapter 3 - So That's What's Going On!

"The Brain's Reward System"

The brain’s reward system is a handful of di!erent parts that help the brain remember important or pleasurable things for future use or enjoyment. These things could be a type of food, a special event, a certain sensation, a specific person, a particular sexual experience, and so on. While this system has some pretty sophisticated-sounding parts, they are all well worth knowing and remembering.

Dr. Koek offers a quick tour: “What we now understand from careful study with modern neuroimaging methods in human brains as well as from animal studies is that the normal reward system starts with a subcortical connection between a center in the midbrain called the ventral tegmental area (VTA) where dopamine is synthesized and from which it is released with a projection or a transmission or a sending of the dopamine from that area to three major limbic reward system nuclei: the nucleus accumbens, portions of the prefrontal cortex, and the amygdala.”

According to Dr. Koek, that’s “basically it.”

“These structures are deep in the brain,” he added, “they’re not a part of the cerebral cortex [the thinking part of the brain]; they’re subcortical [below the thinking part of the brain], large masses of cells.”

The three areas of the brain to which dopamine is released— the nucleus accumbens, portions of the prefrontal cortex, and the amygdala—are a!ected in di!erent ways by that dopamine release. For example, dopamine release to the nucleus accumbens in the frontal lobe is what causes that experience of pleasure associated with a given reward. Dopamine release to portions of the prefrontal cortex leads to a strengthening of
behavioral circuits required to pursue and obtain a reward. Dopamine release in the amygdala, the portion of the brain that integrates sensory information such as sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste with emotional information, causes us to remember the details of a situation associated with a reward, such as places, people, smells, and such.

“What this [dopamine release] does,” said Dr. Koek, “is kind of imprint in these circuits the ‘rewardingness’ of a particular rewarding experience and kind of make a memory for the visual, auditory, tactile, gustatory, and sensory experiences that are associated with getting that rewarding feeling, and also the behaviors required to obtain that reward.”

To clarify: the brain has two parts, the reasoning part (relevant portions of the prefrontal cortex) and the feeling part (the reward system, which was just described above). It is this feeling part of the reward system that helps us define what we like or don’t like, even on a small level. There are millions of preferences built up in our brains throughout our lives by this reward system, one for everything we like or dislike: we like popcorn; we don’t like broccoli; we like the beach but we don’t like the mountains.

To Pre-Order your copy of Pure Eyes: A Men's Guide to Sexual Integraty, please visit Amazon.com and get your copy today.
You can also download a copy of the book for $10 at www.eyesofintegrity.com

Eyes of Integrity: The Porn Pandemic and How It Affects You
Chapter 3 - Honorable Men " Equipping Guys for Sexual Integrity"Ways to Take the Thought Captive"

Following are some helpful and practical ways every man should consider in his e!ort to take the thought captive.

IDENTIFY THE LEVEL OF ADDICTION
It is crucial to understand the severity of the porn consumption and the depth of the addiction. Even the slightest exposure can prompt a rapid downward spiral. Here is a simple scale we have found to be helpful:

0 The person has never been exposed to porn and would not know what it is.
1 The person has had brief exposure to some visual stimuli but is unaware of the e!ects of full nudity.
2 The person has had exposure to full sexual content and is curious about it; when viewed, an internal urge desires more.
3 The person has viewed porn and has a lingering desire for it. If given an opportunity, the person will engage with it.
4 The person thinks about porn, pursues it, hides it, wants it, and consumes it regularly.
5 The person can’t go a day without it.

You may not always be at the same place on the scale. Your interest can fluctuate or accelerate depending on many external and internal factors. Some people take the long road to porn addiction; others have progressed from 0 to a full-fledged 5 in less than seventy-two hours. Once a person is at a 4 or higher, successful, lasting freedom from the addiction will require outside help, from a counselor, pastor, or accountability partner; sometimes lasting freedom comes only after a humiliating exposure of the sin.

To Pre-Order your copy of Eyes of Integrity: The Porn Pandemic and How It Affects You, please visit Amazon.com and get your copy today.

I hear stories all the time of things boys do like putting play dough in the microwave or throwing a dog leash over  the ceiling fan and attaching themselves to the other end so they can fly like Superman. I remember a time when me and my neighbor climbed on top of a shed and were trying to see if we could make a parachute. We used trash bags, umbrellas and tarps. We were about 10 to 12 feet off the ground and jumped off like it was nothing. Thank God that we never broke any bones or received a serious injury. We were not worried about consequences. All we were worried about was having fun no matter the cost.

Today you could not pay me enough money to climb on top of a shed, house or what ever and jump off. But too many times as men we act like boys. We just do what feels good to us at the time and don't worry about the outcome. There is a song by Randy Travis with the same title as this blog.  One of my favorite lines from that song is "There's a constant contradiction, what feels good and what feels right. But, you live with decisions that you make in your life. And what steers your direction is hard to understand, the spirit of a boy, or the wisdom of a man."

What is steering your direction? Proverbs 3:7 says "Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil."

This reminds me of the story of the Prodigal son. He thought he knew what was good for him. He asked for his part of the inheritance. Took off on his own and lost everything.  Don't be like the Prodigal son seek wisdom from Christ he knows us better than anyone. James 1:5 says this about God  "But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him."   Don't continue making decisions with the spirit of a boy but with the wisdom of a man.

Steve Oh

LoveJesus.LovePeople

A few days ago I received an anonymous email telling me that my 20 year old daughter is a "porn star", along with a link to her pay adult website. I was shocked and devastated to say the least, as she has always been an exemplary child raised on Christian values.

Her mother died when she was 7, and I raised her and her little brother all by myself. I never even remarried, just so I could make sure that I was devoting all my time, energy, and resources to her and her brother. It was very difficult, but we made it through alright. Or so I thought.

She was a straight A student all through grade school, and even though her grades slipped a little bit in high school, she made it to college and has done very well for two years with a 3.5 GPA.

I couldn't be prouder of her, but now this. A very well designed adult website with thousands of pictures of my daughter in various stages of undressing, playing with sex toys, and making out with other girls.

She seems to be very popular in the "teen girls" genre of pornography, with many sites having pictures and links to her own website. A Google search with her stage name (which unfortunately is very similar to her real name) brings up 472,000 results. Some of the pictures I saw were stamped "Copyright 2005", which means she has been doing this for at least two years, since she turned 18 (and hopefully not before then).

I remember when I read this my heart broke. Not only for this guy but for his daughter. How did she get caught up in this lifestyle? Will my daughter get caught up in this mess?  I also remember reading about a man who Googled his daughters name and found she had a porn site of her own. I can't and don't want to inmagine what it would be like to stumble across something like that.

I tell you this because if you comsume porn remember that the women you are looking at could be your daughter, sister or even your neice. These women and their families will have scars that will last a lifetime. This is not the life that daddy wished for his little girl.

Steve Oh

LoveJesus.LovePeople

For us to experience this kind of love in relationships we need to first experience God's love for us. You can't consistently demonstrate this kind of love toward someone if you've never experienced being loved in this way. God, who knows you, who knows everything about you, loves you perfectly.

God tells us through the ancient prophet, Jeremiah, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; and I have drawn you unto Myself" (Jeremiah 31:3). So God's love for you is never going to change.

God continues to love us no matter what. Often, relationships end when something in them is altered, such as a damaging accident or the loss of financial position. But God's love is not based on our physical appearance or who or what we are.

As you can see, God's view of love is totally different from what society tells us love is. Can you imagine a relationship with this kind of love? God simply tells us that His forgiveness and love is ours for the asking. It is His gift to us. But if we refuse the gift, we are the ones who cut ourselves off from finding true fulfillment, true intimacy and true purpose in life.

Steve Oh

LoveJesus.LovePeople

If porn use were just like any other harmless pastime, recreational outlet or hobby, then putting it off until after work hours would be no big deal. But pornography is more than just a fun outlet. The workplace can be a very pressurized, stressful, anxiety-producing environment. It can also be boring and even depressing. All of these are potential triggers that motivate individuals to seek different forms of pleasure, escape and self-medication. (Boredom was the excuse the Florida senator used when caught looking at porn on the Senate floor.) With the push of a mouse button, they can view porn and instantly release massive amounts of powerful neuro-chemicals in the brain—the same type of chemicals triggered by street-drug use. It’s not hard to understand why there are tens of millions in the workplace self-medicating with Internet pornography. The amazing thing to me is that after being warned employees continue viewing porn at the risk of losing their job. So what in the world is it about Internet porn that causes people to act so illogical and become so narrowly focused that they toss aside everything they really care about? It’s like Gone With the Wind, when Rhett Butler coldly declares to Scarlett O’Hara, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!”

We look at porn because we like the way it makes us feel. We like that our immagination can run wild.  We like sex! Thats it. There is nothing wrong with liking sex and the feelings that go along with it. God created it! The problem comes when we take it out of biblical context and follow our own path. We need some self control. The disciplines you establish today will determine your success tomorrow. But it takes more than just willpower for lasting self-control. It takes a power greater than yourself. Think about this promise from the Bible: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT).

True happiness can only be found on the inside of your being in your connection and personal relationship with Jesus. All the porn that is out there for the taking will not give you this kind of true inner happiness and fulfillment.

Steve-Oh

LoveJesus.LovePeople

As you walk into Main Control in the engine room you’re greeted with the morning work list; “transfer fuel to both day running tanks for the main diesel engines and generators, also transfer and fill all the JP4 (jet fuel) tanks for today’s helicopter operations.  You need to make sure the water tanks are topped off for the day and both of the ships small boats need to be checked and fueled for law enforcement operations and ooh yeah, “good morning!!!” and don’t forget your hourly engine room rounds and also the #2 main diesel engine has a small leak and needs oil every couple of hours so make sure you keep an eye on that.”

The morning watch aboard a ship is one the most important of the day it get’s the ship ready for the day’s operations.  I spent 8 years in the Coast Guard and am very familiar with the 4-8 in the morning watch.  I spent many mornings in the engine room with a work list just like the one I described and some how I always managed to finish it before I was relieved by the next watch stander.

I’ve been thinking lately about what it would mean to set the morning watch in my spiritual life.  As a lust addict I need to make sure that I’m filling myself every morning with scripture or else I’ll find myself dead in the water when temptations come my way.  Much like the diesel engines on board ship if I hadn’t filled those fuel tanks in the morning, when they were need to power the ship and they had no fuel in those tanks we would have found ourselves dead in the water.

Think about it, what if you were to set the morning watch on you mind, eyes, mouth, heart, and feet wouldn’t you feel that much more prepared to face the day.

So let’s set the watch;
•    The mind;

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.”

Romans 8:5 (ESV)

Pray for purity of the mind and the strength to capture those lust filled thoughts that can fill our head and surrender them to God.

In real life men are in constant struggle with each other for dominance. We want to feel like we are the best. When we get these feelings of not being up to par especially in the bedroom here comes porn whispering in our ear. It does not yell out at us like some carnies wanting us to spend out money on some fixed game at the fair. That soft voice is telling us “ You are the man and you can be the man if you just come on over”. Porn producers know our weakness. Why do you think they put out such a smorgasbord of porn? I don’t believe that there is an area of sex that has gone untouched by the industry. You have everything from man and women to a women taking 4 men at once. If you want to talk degrading there you go. But we desensitize ourselves so much all we see is what we want to see. We see a naked women having sex. We put our self in the role of dominating male.We dont pay attention to the look of pain on the womens face, or wonder if she is being forced into this. I promise you that look of pain is not always acting! When we are done we cut off the computer or the DVD player and are one our way until next time.

I heard a story recently about a women named Linda, a project manager,who was married to a guy named Steven whose addiction to porn was horrible. His interest in sex skyrocketed. Soon after they got married, he became unemployed and started spending hours looking at porn, often saving clips on her computer because she had cable and he had only dial-up. Although Linda was coming home exhausted from her graduate program, Steven wanted to have sex three or four times a night, and would often editorialize during the act. We would  be in the middle of sex, and he’d say, This is great, but this is how you could do it better, and he’d pull out his laptop. Steven was far from selfish in bed. He wanted to please her but became so obsessive she felt pressured. He needed to prove to himself that he was really good. Before she met Steven, Linda had watched porn with boyfriends .Steven was very big on women on their knees performing on a man, stuff that seemed degrading. If she said she didn’t want sex, he’d turn on the computer and masturbate in front of her. As time went on and I got more disgusted, I’d just leave him there on the couch, go into the bathroom, and wash my hands.

When they were in bed together, he was so controlling that she became afraid to be spontaneous. It got to the point where there were no surprises, says Linda. I wasn’t saying, Oh honey, let’s try this. It was more like, Oh. This again.
This relationship made me wonder, Am I really that bad at sex? she says. “And then I realized I wasn’t a porn star. I was a girl in a relationship with someone she loved.”

Don’t use porn to make you feel like a man! You will FAIL every time! Be the man God wants you to be. Be like David.  It says in Acts 13 "I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do." Honor your wife or girlfriend and stay away from porn it only leads to destruction.Be all God wants you to be, put some holy sweat into your relationships! If you’re married, you need to live out Ephesians 5:25-31: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (v. 25). For those who are fathers, God provides a workout in one pungent sentence: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Until next time....

Steve-Oh

LoveJesus.LovePeople

I accepted Christ in February of 2005 and what resulted was an immediate change; a 180 degree turn from the drugs, alcohol, pornography and pretty much everything else that makes men “unclean” that is mentioned in Mark 7:21-23.  I was a new man and I wanted everyone to know it. Several months later of trying to live a perfect life that reflected all that God had to offer, I started to feel this sense of failure in my walk with Christ. The freedom that I had found in Christ was getting overshadowed by following rules and when I would fail or feel like I had failed, I’d feel guilty and distant from God.  I was trying to go to church and do the right things; however, I was always interrupted with the people around me. See, I had not been in church since I was a teenager and started to go back to church. What I found was that people who where members of the church and sometimes even the ministry staff would “look” like Christians but their actions and words would be of the world. In Matthew 7:15-19, Jesus is warning us of false prophets that come disguised as harmless sheep and Paul also speaks of people who are more concerned with the laws than the salvation through the cross in Galatians 5:11-12.

From my personal view, I think that I had felt like I had done so much wrong in my life that I would make it up by doing all the right things; sometimes acting self-righteous. Paul tells the churches of Galatia that if they are trying to make themselves right with God by keeping the law, they have been cut off from Christ; that they have fallen from God’s grace (Galatians 5:4). God’s grace is what set me free in the first place but I had allowed myself to be judged by man’s law resulting in me falling into a continuous reminder of all the reasons I was not a Christian. Before I knew it I was searching for success and acceptance behind my computer through porn or through some sort of impure thought. When this started I felt more like a hypocrite which resulted in more failure. What had changed? Why had I gone back to something that would separate me from God’s truth and grace?

Reason why was because I had not changed my habits as far was monitoring what I was exposing myself to. Yeah, I had cut out drugs, alcohol and pornography but I was still watching movies and TV sitcoms that had sexual content in them. I wasn’t in the Bible daily and I was not being transparent about my struggles. I was allowing the outside interferences affect my view of the truth, about God’s grace. I had let the world judge my walk with Christ by putting standards on myself or letting other people put standards on me instead of going by God’s standard. This is a dangerous place to be, this is the place that many people walk away from God and decide to be a success in the world’s views. These senses of failure lead me to a full fletched addiction of pornography again.

It is important to remember that being Christian is not about perfection but about forgiveness. Knowing what Jesus actually did through His death on the cross. It’s about knowing who to go to in the middle of struggle. God doesn’t punish us, we punish ourselves. God strengthens us through every weakness we have because His grace is sufficient for us and His power is made perfect in weakness (2Corinthians 12:9). I am proud to say with all the praise in my heart that He has giving me strength through my weakness. How did I finally find freedom? I realized that God sometimes allows us to go through struggles and trials to strengthen us, to develop a dependence on Him. Times of difficult are the best times to embrace the Holy Spirit and to be desperate for God. You can’t change overnight because frankly we didn’t fall into a sinful lifestyle overnight, but you can start by a “bite size” approach. God gives us numerous times throughout the day to say yes or no and opportunities to practice what he is telling us. The important thing is to remember where to go when we feel that sense of failure… to the foot of the cross.

Steve-Oh

LoveJesus.LovePeople

Below you will find a video Nate did awhile ago. This video is very powerful and I feel that many men and Pastors will be able to relate to Nates story.

We maybe able to temporally hide things from our family and friends but
in the end it always comes out. Just like me attempting to hide my
progress reports. I was found out. I am reminded of years ago when I
used to work for an ambulance service. My partner (on the ambulance)
loved porn. He loved looking at naked women. I did too if I am going to
be honest. He was scared to go into the store and buy the magazines. So
what he would do is park the ambulance up the road I would change my
shirt and go down and buy the magazines. I would do all this because he
was embarrassed to go in and buy them. One day his wife found them,
guess what he did. He blamed me. He told her they were mine. At that
time in my life I didn’t care so I took the wrap. He was found out. I
believe she knew they were his and just didn’t say anything.  I am
going to stop right here for a minute and address the women who maybe
reading this saying you tell him! I am going to keep it real short too.
Where is your vibrator?

Where does hiding things come from? Here is my theory; it goes all the
way back to Adam and Eve. Eve yielded to the deception of the serpent
and ate of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Genesis 3:6 clearly states that she gave some to her husband, who was
with her, and he also ate. The Bible says that immediately “The eyes of
both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked.” More
than just an awareness of their physical nakedness was an awareness
that something dreadful had happened. They had disobeyed God's command.
They were exposed and felt guilt and fear for the first time in their
lives. They were instantly ashamed and scared. Not just a little bit
afraid. They were terrified.

And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the
cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence
of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called
to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” So he said, I heard Your
voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid
myself.” (Genesis 3:8-10)

We always tend to hide things we know are not right. Right now Jesse
James is suffering because of things he tried to hide, Tiger Woods
tried to hide things. If you go to some of the adult sites searching
for "fun" you see words like discrete and faces blurred out. Why do you
think that is? Why do you clear your history every time you get on the
computer? Why don’t you tell your wife about going to the strip club or
brothel? It is because deep down we know that it is sin. Nothing is
ever hidden from God. Not an activity, not a book you read, not a word
you say, not a thought you think, not a place you go, morning, noon or
midnight, is ever hidden from God Almighty. God knows where you are.
You are never hidden from Him.

"...For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,
"Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a
future..."  Jeremiah 29:11

Don't spend your time trying to hide porn or affairs. Spend that time
getting to know your Creator and all he has for you. If you are going
to hide anything hide his word in your heart it will never go void.

Steve Oh
LoveJesus.LovePeople

  Learn from mistakes, and if need be redraw boundaries. Maybe you can’t watch certain kinds of movies, be alone with a certain person late at night, or talk to a certain person. Look at your mistakes and learn from them by redrawing your boundaries.

  If you are recovering stay in the game. I know it is easy to get discouraged, don't quit! I would like to leave you with a verse and a quote.


Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."


"Wars are not won by evacuations."  Winston Churchill


Steve-Oh
LoveJesus.LovePeople

Steve-Oh

LoveJesus.LovePeople

 Temptation starts with a harmless thought or desire that entices us to do something that we are not supposed to do. Then next the initial thought is then entertained and explored. We contemplate committing the sin. After entertaining the thought, we commit the act of sin to fulfill our cravings and desires. In the early chapters of Genesis Eve was tempted to eat the fruit that had been forbidden to eat by God. Eve then entertained the thought, if I eat the fruit I will gain the knowledge of God. She justified the sin. How often do we do that? We say to ourselves "no one is perfect" "I didn't know it was wrong" or "God will forgive me, so I might as well do it". Then after Eve spent time thinking about it she committed the sin. Right after committing the sin Adam and Eve both hid from God. After committing sin Satan wants us to feel so guilty that we alienate ourselves from God.

If we are going to defeat temptation we must stop temptation from going past the first stage. We are all going to have tempting thoughts and desires, however, we must not entertain those thoughts. If we do, then chances are we will commit the sin.To resist temptation we must predetermine in our minds that we will not give in to the temptation. No matter how desirable, alluring,appealing,tantalizing, or inviting the sin maybe, we must not commit it.    

Fortunately we have  examples of those who responded correctly to temptation in the Bible. Abraham refused to accept a reward for service to King Of Sodom after a battle in Genesis 14:22-24, "But Abram said to the king of Sodom, 'I have raised my hand to the LORD, God Most High, Creator of heaven and earth, and have taken an oath that I will accept nothing belonging to you, not even a thread or the thong of a sandal, so that you will never be able to say, "I made Abram rich." I will accept nothing but what my men have eaten and the share that belongs to the men who went with me - to Aner, Eshcol and Mamre. Let them have their share."  The best and most important biblical character to study in response to temptation is Jesus Christ. Three of the four gospels talk about Jesus' experiences with Satan in the desert. Luke 4:5-8 describes it this way: "The devil led him [Jesus] up to a high place and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. And he said to him, 'I will give you all their authority and splendor, for it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. So if you worship me, it will all be yours.' Jesus answered, 'It is written: "Worship the Lord your God and serve him only."'"

Jesus became man and lived as a perfect example to us. Hebrews 2:18 says, "Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."

If you are going to attempt to live a life that is pleasing to God, you need to learn how to handle temptation. If you try under your own power to resist temptation you will fail.We are told time and time again in scripture to rely on the strength of God. Eph 6:10-11 says     * “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” When we are tempted, we need to go immediately to God in prayer and ask Him to help us resist the urge to commit the sin.  Everyday we battle temptation, and at times we lose the battle.  But we must keep fighting and fighting to defeat it.

 Lets review, To resist temptation…
 
A. We must understand what temptation is.

B. We must predetermine in our minds that we will not give into the temptation and sin against God.

C. We must rely upon the strength of God to help us overcome temptation.

 1 Corinthians 10:13 And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you cant stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give into it.


Steve Oh
LoveJesus.LovePeople

"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, Thou can not then be false to any man." - Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’

“I can’t help being who I am!”, my client screamed. We were in the middle of our third counseling session together, and he was contemplating his decision to stop using pornography and prostitutes. His sexual behavior had become such a primary part of his life, though, that leaving it behind felt impossibly unnatural. “It’s my nature as a guy to want this,” he argued. “If I stop, aren’t I just trying to be somebody I’m not?”

As a Christian man struggling with sexual temptations, you may be asking the same question. You may, in fact, be considering a complete abandonment of the faith instead of abandoning your behavior. The immediate payoff for such a decision is gratification. You will no longer be denying yourself the “right” to do what seems natural to you. And that may really seem more important to you than Christianity itself. But then, what is your concept of Christianity? Did God promise you that, having been converted, you would be finished with personal struggles? Was there anything in Christ’s teaching implying total fulfillment in this life? Is Christianity a religious form of therapy designed to ensure the happiness of its followers? Does it make you angry to even ask these questions? If so, you may have forgotten that the core of our faith is the Person Jesus Christ, and the expression of our faith is a life of service to Him, not ourselves.

Jesus made this clear: “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” (Matthew 16:24).

The core of our faith is Jesus Christ. The expression of our faith is a life of service to Him.

Regarding our attitude toward this primary but overlooked aspect of Christianity, Francis Schaeffer, in his book “True Spirituality”, comments:

“It is not a matter of waiting until we no longer have strong sexual desires, but rather, when we are surrounded by a world that grabs everything, we are to understand what Jesus means when He talks about denying ourselves that which is not rightfully ours.”

Ironically, then, abandoning the faith in a quest for personal happiness may well be the way to sabotage that very quest. Remember, if you are a believer, you have experienced the rebirth described in John 3:16, which is not easily shrugged off. You were given the seed of God Himself: “Having been born again, not of corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God.”  (1 Peter 1:23). That being the case, it is questionable whether you will ever be happy in a backslid-den state. The dissatisfaction you will feel apart from fellowship with Christ may well outweigh whatever dissatisfaction you’re experiencing now as a struggling Christian.

I am who I am… I can’t be at peace unless I’m true to myself.

You might argue, “But I am who I am. That’s my nature, and I can’t be at peace unless I’m true to myself.” I would argue the same point, changing the noun. You are indeed who you are—a Christian. That’s your nature, and you can’t be at peace unless you’re true to yourself.

What can we learn from Mr.Mayer other than some killer guitar skills? Class we see that pornography is misleading and can be dangerous to current and future relationships. We have learned that porn is self serving.Experts say men who frequently view porn may develop unrealistic expectations of women's appearance and behavior, have difficulty forming and sustaining relationships and feeling sexually satisfied. A recent study also shows that 30% of porn viewers (magazines,movies,internet) admit to sexual behavior that disrupts their lives. Men become like computers, unable to be stimulated by the human beings beside them just like John said "when I meet somebody, I'm in a situation I cannot run..". In a 2003 study (I know it is 7 years old) two-thirds of 350 divorce lawyers said that the internet played a role in divorces in the past year (2003) with excessive interest in online porn contributing to to more than half of such cases. One lawyer said in the study that "pornography had an almost nonexistent role in divorce seven or eight years ago." I guarantee the stats from this survey have drastically changed in the last 7 years. How is porn affecting your life? How is it affecting your relationships? How is it affecting your daily life?

I want to leave you with one of the saddest things I read in this interview. Here is part of the actual interview. They were asking him about his album and the changing moods he has on the worst night of his life.
 
MAYER: Yeah, Battle Studies is that feeling between 10 p.m. and two a.m. when you have this wild level of arousal and optimism. It’s about the things people do to each other during those hours. I have wasted four hours of my life refusing to masturbate and believing that somehow the phone would ring and I’d get a call from somebody I hadn’t talked to in years.

PLAYBOY: The phone will ring and your life will change?

MAYER: Yeah. It’s like looking for a fix. I’ll spend four hours not even putting anything into motion, just believing somehow it’s going to come my way.

John your fix is Jesus. To the men and women reading this your fix is Jesus. Jesus will see you through all your struggles. Not just porn and marital problems he will see you through all of them. He never said that he would make it easy. Life is not easy. Jesus is our advocate John 2:1 says " My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous." One of my favorite songs is "Thought The Fire" (not by Chaka Khan) this song reminds me that I am not alone in my struggles and you aren't either.

So many times I've questioned certain circumstances
things I could not understand.
Many times in trials, weakness blurs my vision
then my frustration gets so out of hand
its then I am reminded I've never been forsaken.
I've never had to stand the test alone
as I look at all the victories the spirit rises up in me
and its through the fire my weakness is made strong.

chorus:
He never promised that the cross would not get heavy
and the hill would not be hard to climb.
He never offered our victories without fighting
but he said help would always come in time.
Just remember when your standing in the valley of decision
and the adversary says give in
just hold on, our Lord will show up
and he will take you through the fire again.


Steve Oh
LoveJesus.LovePeople