In response, the site’s creator has placed a “report abuse” button on the site, but it appears to be a button to nowhere, as the speed-dating nature of the site means that users are more likely to simply click next, especially since the site’s inception it has been unclear what actually constitutes abuse. Moreover, there appears to be no process for actually removing a reported user from the site even if someone were reported.

The site’s creator, Andrey Ternovskiy, can hardly be blamed for a lack of foresight as he is just a kid himself at 17. He originally created the site as a way to expand on he and his friends’ chatting activities, and did not bank on the site becoming the overnight success that it has.

The site’s success, and subsequent media coverage, means that people are hearing about the site and many of those will be minors. Our CTO Aaron Kenny says that his concerns with ChatRoulette go beyond just concerns of minors being exposed to indecent or pornographic content:

“Even the concept of being hooked up with a random person for a chat can be dangerous for a child, so we’ve categorized it as a blocked site,” Kenny explained. “In terms of getting something inappropriate, you can almost say the odds on ChatRoulette are even worse than playing Russian Roulette.”

Safe Eyes users will be automatically protected from exposure to the site, but parents who do not use filtering technology may want to talk to their kids about why the site is inappropriate for them, and check up frequently on their child’s computer use. Tests of the site have revealed that a user can be exposed to pornographic content in less than two minutes.

Dan Scott

Heart-throbs John Mayer and Robert Pattinson both recently gave interviews to big magazines, and in the process revealed interesting perspectives on pornography.

While Mayer’s interview is likely to be noted for some other things said which Mayer will likely regret, we found his points on the impact of pornography on his generation to be rather salient:

"Internet pornography has absolutely changed my generation’s expectations. How does (porn) not affect the psychology of having a relationship with somebody? It’s got to." - John Mayer

Mayer added that his pornography consumption has made sex less satisfying for him and has made it harder to connect to the woman that he is with and less likely to seek out meaningful relationships with women.

Robert Pattinson of the wildly successful Twilight saga, who apparently objected to having to appear with several near-naked models for a Details cover shoot, also wondered about the impact of the prevalence and availability of porn on his generation.

Pattinson in describing his aversion to the shoot lamented that today, as opposed to the eighties, that porn is “everything” and “everywhere,” and that it has lost aspects he described as “quaint” and even respectful.

Many groups, from the feminist left to the Christian right, have connected constant pornography consumption to sexual crimes or deviant behavior, but what Mayer and Pattinson both inherently realize as members of younger generations is that the effect of pornography goes far beyond such worst-case scenarios. The increasingly apparent and felt impact is that the ubiquitous nature of online pornography is changing the face of sex and relationships in much the same way that social networking and media are changing interpersonal interaction: substituting endlessness for intimacy.

What do you think? Will the availability and ubiquity of pornography in the digital age substantially alter human relationships and behavior?

Secondhand porn is porn that is seen involuntarily by someone who was not intending to view it. Lets look at some examples. I read a story a couple months back of a mother that was on a plane with her children. She was seated next to a man with a laptop who had just put in a cartoon movie. Her four children were drawn to the screen. The cartoon characters soon started to do things to each other that cartoon characters don’t usually do. They started having sex. It was cartoon porn! The mother was shocked. In another story a man in Texas was viewing child porn on his iPod on a public bus. He was arrested. I have heard several stories of people seeing porn when pulling up behind SUV’s or Van’s equipped with DVD players with the video screens that hang down from the ceiling.

With all the technology out there it’s getting easier and easier for your kids to be exposed to secondhand porn. As I mentioned earlier secondhand porn shares some effects similar to secondhand smoke. Secondhand porn can irritate your eyes and it can especially hurt children. How do you explain to your 4 or 5 year old why two cartoon characters were naked and doing sexual things to each other? How do you explain the orgy scene that your 9 or 10 year old just saw on the video screen in the van you were behind at a stoplight? These are things that kids should not be exposed to and that they’re not ready to process.

Just like laws have been passed to protect everyone from the dangers of secondhand smoke, laws should be passed to protect everyone, especially our children, from secondhand porn. Until then we as parents have to be aware that secondhand porn is out there and we have to be ready to steer our kids clear of it.

Sexting is one of those crimes where the victim is also the perpetrator. Lets say, for example, your teenage daughter takes nude pictures of herself and sends them to her boyfriend. Soon after they break up. The boyfriend is upset so to get even he sends your daughters nude pictures to several of his friends at school. The photos spread and soon large numbers of the guys and girls at school has seen your daughters’ nude pictures. If that weren’t bad enough word of these pictures spreads and the police find out and investigate. Since your daughter is the one who took the pictures of herself and sent them to her boyfriend she can be charged with production and distribution of child pornography. That’s a federal offense that comes with possible jail time and her being listed on the national sexual offender list. That’s something that can stick with her for the rest of their life.

The above example is based on countless stories that have taken place across the country and shows how serious the consequences for Sexting can be. But in a “Sexting” story that took place in Ohio the consequences where much greater. Jessie Logan, a high school senior, sent a nude picture she took of herself to her boyfriend. He sent it to several of his friends and the photo’s spread into the general population at her school and then eventually made its way into other schools. Jessie started getting teased relentlessly and was constantly called all kinds of horrible and filthy names. This abuse didn’t happen just at school but just about everywhere she went. It even followed her home as the name-calling persisted on her MySpace and Facebook accounts. Eventually it all became too much for Jessie and her mother found her hanging in her bedroom. A young life snuffed out by something all parents need to be on the look out for, “Sexting”.

So how do we protect our kids from this new threat? Talk to your kids about Sexting and all its consequences. Also check you kids cell phones often and without warning and see what kinds of pictures they have on them. Some would say that’s overly intrusive. I would say its just good parenting.

Porn runs a similar course. You look at it and at first it may be shocking but you get used to it. You move on to harder core porn and it’s shocking at first but again you get used to it. The pain comes later. It comes when your parents find out what you’ve been looking at and you realize you’ve broken their heart. It comes when you can’t look at another girl without thinking of what she’d look like nude. The pain comes when you let a guy go to far because, based on what you’ve seen, you think everyone does it. It comes when you enjoy your fantasy life better than real life. It comes when your spouse finds out you’ve gotten intimate with porn and lost your intimacy for them. Porn will trick you into thinking it’s harmless. But with porn the pain comes later.

    * Females are slightly more likely to have sent a naked picture or video of themselves, while males are more likely to receive a naked photo or video

    * About 20% of the same age range have experienced some form of cyberbullying, usually in the form of spreading lies or online impersonation

Pretty standard stuff and not really telling us anything new. What is interesting in this study is the finding that cell phones are increasingly being used as digital leashes in relationships. While we often suspect that technology is making people more disconnected, less attentive, and perhaps less modest, this study shows that mobile technology is actually making young people more like their parents.

According to the study’s section on dating, roughly one quarter of respondents reported that their significant other (SO) checked up on them multiple times per day, and that the SO has checked texts and messages on their phone without permission. One tenth reported having an SO demand their passwords or that they defriend someone on a social network.

My senior year of high-school was when my friends began to get their first cell-phones, digital dinosaurs by today’s standards. I was impressed with the cutting-edge technology and a bit jealous—until I saw how the phones were being used. My friends were getting called on the hour, every hour, by nervous parents wanting to know their whereabouts and every move. Every new place we went, they called their parent to tell them: We’re at the mall; We’re at the Shop-a-Snak; We’re back at So-and-So’s.

Apparently the immediacy afforded by today’s devices is turning young paramours into recycled versions of helicopter parents.

Internet pornography is more problematic than ordinary pornography due to its prolific availability, affordability, and perceived anonymity. Excessive Internet pornography consumption has been observed to interfere with sleep, relationships, attitudes, sex, work, and in some cases, may culminate in sexually delinquent/abusive behavior.

Although no formal diagnosis currently exists, Internet Pornography Addiction may be included in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders (tipped to be published in 2012).

Given that problematic Internet pornography consumption involves the relentless pursuit of pleasure where tolerance builds and encourages consumers to explore larger volumes of more deviant forms of sexuality (the same characteristics of addiction); treatment programs have typically been designed along the same lines as overcoming drug/alcohol addiction.

In fact, the chemical process associated with sexual-climatic behavior is the same chemical process associated with consuming exogenous drugs (like cocaine). The same neuro-transmitters are secreted and terminate in the same pleasure-region of the brain (the Nucleus Accumbins). Specifically, endorphin, methionine, and enkephalin are activated, which, through several synaptic steps, enhances the flow of dopamine into the Nucleus Accumbens. Just like cocaine use, compulsive sexual behavior can bring about neurochemical changes that require escalation and/or compulsive repetition of behavior to elicit the same level of euphoria. This is the reward-pathway to addiction.
–Robi Sonderegger, Ph.D.

For further research on this topic, see Dèttore, D., & Giannelli, A. (2008). Explorative survey on the level of online sexual activities and sexual paraphilias. Abstracts of the 9th Conference of the European Federation of Sexology, 17(1), p. 15; Sunderwirth, S., Milkman, H., & Jenks, N. (1996). Neurochemistry and sexual addiction. Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, 3:1, 22-32

On the second Friday of every month, the InternetSafety.com Blog will be posting guest video posts from Dr. Robi Sonderegger, clinical psychologist and founding director of Family Challenge Australia, and consultant and policy adviser on the rehabilitation of trauma associated with war, sexual exploitation (human trafficking) and natural disaster worldwide.

One gift I don’t like getting every year is the gift of the Christmas cop-out. It happens every time someone says to me “Happy Holidays”, or “Seasons Greetings”. What holiday am I suppose to be happy about or what season am I greeting? CHRISTMAS! What happened to “Merry Christmas”? We’re not running around buying gift for Thanksgiving or New Years. We put up Christmas lights and put Christmas gifts under the Christmas tree. Why are so many people afraid to say “Merry Christmas”? This political correctness stuff has just gone to far. It’s only a matter of time before the political correctness starts creeping into all the other days of the year we celebrate.  We’ll just have to say “Happy Holiday” all year round so no one gets offended. Bah Humbug to that!

It’s funny how companies will go out of their way to be politically correct with something like Christmas but when it comes to peddling soft-core porn to our kids they seem to think that’s just fine. Have you seen some of the pictures these companies put in clothing catalogs that cater to teens or their billboard ads with teens that are showing more skin than clothes. So what are they really trying to sell our kids? These companies will stand firm against saying “Merry Christmas” as to not offend but having half naked teens grace their advertisements is just fine with them. Where did their political correctness go? Or is soft-core porn politically correct? 

So as you go about your Christmas shopping make sure the places you buy your gifts aren’t peddling soft-core porn because that's crummy. Besides, there are plenty of retailers who don’t stoop to that level and they may even say “Merry Christmas” to you as you go.

IPhones and IPod touches are going to be flying off the shelves this holiday season, and we are urging parents giving these devices as gifts to young kids to protect them from harmful Internet content.

Even though smartphones are certainly nothing new, many of us non-digital natives (born before 1990) aren’t mentally conditioned to think of a phone as a computer, but with the iPhone and iPod Touch’s internet browsing capabilities, that’s precisely what they are.

Unfortunately, for many parents and young kids who receive these devices as gifts, that realization comes after the child has seen something inappropriate that upset them, which doesn’t make for the best post-present experience.

If you are considering buying an iPhone or iPod Touch for your child this season, please consider downloading and installing the Safe Eyes Mobile browser, with our award-winning filtering technology built-in, to protect your child from harmful web content. Before you wrap it up and place it under the tree, make sure that their experience with their new toy is a pleasant one.

You can get Safe Eyes Mobile in the iTunes app store, and there are instructions for installing and using it in our support center.

I bet you never thought of giving your kids Porn for Christmas. I’m pretty sure you’re not planning on putting the latest Porn DVD’s in your kids stocking or wrapping up a 1-year subscription to Hustler and putting that under the Christmas tree. But you still may be getting your kids porn for Christmas.

Sometimes we don’t think or don’t know about the unintended consequences of the gifts we give our kids. For instance, are any of you planning on getting any of your kids a new cell phone for Christmas? Does the cell phone have Internet access? If so, you’re giving your kids porn for Christmas. Are any of you planning on getting any of your kids the iPod Touch for Christmas? If so, you’re giving your kids porn for Christmas. Are you planning on getting your kids a new computer for Christmas? If you don’t buy Internet filtering software to go along with it, you’re giving your kids porn for Christmas. Why did I pick Cell Phones, the iPod Touch and Computers? They’re popular gifts and can crack the door open to the world of porn.

Cell Phones: Most cell phones have Internet access and filtering porn on cell phones is a real challenge. Some cell phone carrier’s, like AT&T or Verizon, have parental controls available but you may have to pay extra for the service (AT&T charges $4.99/m per line) and each cell phone may have a different way to implement the filtering. So grab your kids Christmas cell phone, call your carrier and find out how to block porn and other inappropriate websites on their phone.

iPod Touch: The iPod Touch has parental controls but it’s pretty much limited to having Internet access turned on or turned off. So grab your kids’ Christmas iPod Touch, access the Parental Controls and turn off the Internet. Or get the SafeEyes App in Apples App Store to filter the Internet access.

Computers: Without Internet filtering software on your kids computer they can access a ton of porn and other inappropriate content. And if you got them a laptop they can access that type of content just about anywhere. So grab your kids Christmas computer and load up Internet filtering software from SafeEyes.com. Then go download X3 Watch from XXXChurch at x3Watch.com for extra protection. It’s not a filter but it will tell you, via email, if your kids are going to inappropriate websites.

Now that you have a little more information ask yourself, “Am I getting my kids porn for Christmas?” If so, now you know what you can do to make your Christmas gifts porn free. 

My first introduction to Internet safety was the story of Alicia Kozakiewicz, the girl who was abducted by an Internet predator and underwent unspeakable horrors while held in his basement for four days. (read her story here.)

Though Alicia’s story is a clear-cut warning about meeting online strangers, the topic of online predators is probably the most confusing area of all for parents that are looking to protect their kids. Just how much of a threat predators pose to children continues to be a matter of debate due to differing opinions from Internet safety experts and law enforcement.

Larry Magid, a well-known and respected Internet safety author and expert, recently called concern over online predators “panic” and was glad that the panic had largely gone away in recent years. He goes on to write:

    Safety experts and law enforcement studies from the Crimes Against Children Research Center and elsewhere show that, statistically, the odds of a prepubescent child being sexually molested by an online stranger is virtually zero and the odds of it happening to a teenager are very low, especially when compared with children who are harmed by family members and others they know from the real world.

Right after reading this I ran across this news item, detailing a horrific tale of another girl, 16 years old, who was tied up and raped by a man she met online. Just today I ran across a story of a 13-year-old girl who was about to board a bus to meet a man she met playing the online game World of Warcraft. Luckily police got to her in time.

Furthermore, the study that Magid is referring to actually shows a 402% increase in the arrest of online predators from 2000 to 2006, so there is clear statistical and case-by-case evidence that the problem not only exists, but is actually getting worse. However, the same study shows that of teens that were solicited over the Internet, only 4% of those encounters actually resulted in an abduction.

So parents are left to choose what to believe: Internet safety experts who use words like “panic” and “hysteria” to describe concern about predators, and the numerous, documented cases throughout the U.S. of sexual criminals using the Internet to snare children.

While the “odds” may be low regarding online abductions of teens, using that argument is obscuring the issue for most parents who are much more concerned about what could happen to their child rather than statistics regarding what happens to the entire U.S. population. However, most researchers who cover the topic are trained to think and speak in terms of large populations and aggregate numbers, so the disconnect exists.

It is incumbent on Internet safety organizations to present a clear picture to parents of what the real risk is regarding predators, without using language that exaggerates or downplays the threat. Parents need to know not only dangers regarding worst-case scenarios involving abduction and rape, but also much more likely scenarios such as their child receiving sexual messages from a stranger that may disturb the child, or even being coerced into trading pictures that could then be used to blackmail the child into further sexual actions.

Parents are often encouraged to get Facebook accounts and friend their kids, as a way to keep a tab on their kids online activities on the social networking hub. However, no one has told parents what to do next, or more specifically what not to do next, until parenting author Vicki Courtney stepped in.

Vicki Courtney has written extensively on raising girls and seeks to provide tweens, teens, and their parents with the tools necessary to navigate today’s promiscuous culture. But she also likes to lighten the mood by having a good laugh at parenting gaffes, including some of her own. Here is her list of the Top Ten Facebook No-Nos for Parents:

1.Do not post reminders on your child’s wall.
This includes, but is not limited to: Reminders to wear their retainer at night, take the recycle bin out to the curb, or to remember their upcoming dermatologist appointment. In fact, just to be safe don’t post
anything on your child’s wall except for perhaps, birthday wishes. And even that’s debatable. A simple “Happy Birthday” will suffice. Do not use terms of endearment in the greeting and do not send a Facebook gift. This includes the stuffed bear wearing an“I love Mom” t-shirt.

2.Do not comment on pictures of your child that are posted (tagged) by their friends.
This includes, but is not limited to: Compliments about your daughter’s hair, gentle suggestions that your daughter may need to wear a bit more lip gloss, or a simple “Yikes” said in reference to one of your daughter’s friends showing a bit too much cleavage. (Guilty!) These types of comments should fall into the private message category. Never forget that comments on pictures can be viewed by everyone on your daughter’s friend list, including the girl who is showing a bit too much cleavage.

3.Do not post pictures of your child on his/her wall. This especially includes, but is not limited to: Scanned family photos from a decade ago or baby pictures of your son playing dress-up in his dad’s suit. Doing so could result in your son’s college roommate using the above-mentioned baby picture as his profile picture in a week-long mockery campaign. (See photo above. Sorry, Ryan.) Also, pictures of the beloved family pet are in the no-post category, but are acceptable if sent through private message. Just because your college son talks baby talk to the 4 lb. Yorkie when he’s home for a visit, doesn’t necessarily mean he wants a picture of the little love-muffin dressed in his Halloween Batman costume on his wall (Sorry again, Ryan.)

4.Do not upload footage of your child performing as a superstar in any sport or activity without first obtaining their permission. This includes footage of your son making a phenomenal one-handed catch during the homecoming football game that resulted in a run for a touchdown. We are all proud of our children, but excessive bragging (through videos, pictures, or status updates) should be doled out in moderation. Which reminds me, footage of Hayden’s amazing catch can be found by clicking on videos on my Facebook page. (NOTE: Hayden gave me the green light to post the clip in exchange for a $20 gift card to Sonic.)

5.Do not use status message updates as a billboard for your teen’s poor choices.
Unless that is, it’s funny and then it’s okay. The end goal should not be to publicly shame your teenager, but rather, to garner empathy from fellow parents of teens. Kinda like a big, giant Facebook support group for parents. “My teen just tested my last ounce of patience. Anyone know of any good boarding schools?” sounds much better than “My punk teen just shoplifted an energy drink from a convenience store. Pray he lives to see the sun come up tomorrow.”

6.Mushy Facebook status messages related to your spouse should be avoided at all costs. What child wouldn’t need intensive therapy after seeing Dad’s status message in the newsfeed: “My wife is a total hottie and I’m counting the days until our weekend get-away.” Ew, ew, ew. In fact, Dad’s entire friend list may need therapy after that one. Facebook PDA is unacceptable at any age, and even more so if you answer to the title “Mom” or “Dad.”

7.Never, ever, send a friend request to one of your child’s friends. It doesn’t matter if you were present at their birth, diapered their little bottoms, and count them as one of your very own. Wait for them to come to you. They may…or they may not. Even the good kids are worried about the lack of control they have over what others may say on their walls and don’t want the adults they know to think any less of them. Especially the ones they love.

8.Use discretion when uploading pictures of yourself. I don’t care if you are 50 years old and super proud of your six-pack abs – I promise you, your kids don’t want to see them. If you are going to play sand volleyball and there is a camera present, do the kiddos a favor and put a shirt on. If you are going to post pictures from the family beach trip, please wear a cover up. Modest is hottest. Yeah, and you might not ever want to repeat that cheesy slogan in the hearing of your kids or they’re guaranteed to pack up and run away from home. Forever.

9.Never say LOL. Actually, I was just made aware of this one recently after being royally chastised by one of my children for daring to say it in a comment. Not sure what is so offensive about saying LOL, but it clearly struck a nerve and I got this immediate reply: “Mom, NEVER say LOL again.” To which I promptly replied: “ NP! IDK what I was thinking. TTYL!”
It’s been a few weeks since I last heard from that child, but I’m pretty sure she’s been busy studying for mid-terms. LOL.

10.Last, but not least, never let on that you are stalking their page. Oh sure, you are going to be left with some questions from time to time or see some things that make you grumble. As long as you think they are making overall, good choices, resist the urge to correct every infraction you see. Of course, the exception to the rule is if you have reason to believe your child is headed down a dangerous path and an intervention is in order. Otherwise, pull back and give your child some wiggle room to grow up. And let’s all count our blessings that Facebook wasn’t around when we were teens!

Thanks to Vicki Courtney for letting us repost these.

Having talked to parents about Internet dangers for many years it seems that they keep a closer eye on what their boys are doing online, especially when it comes to porn, than they do their girls. I guess it’s understandable. Most people think porn is something that their boys would get into, but not their girls. Well the numbers tell a different story. Nelisen/NetRating say that 1 in 3 visitors to adult websites are women. Hustler reports that 56% of their business at their video stores come from women. And in America, 13 million women visit porn websites at least once a month. So have I’ve blown your conventional thinking about girls and porn out of the water?

So why do I bring this topic up? It’s because I don’t want parents to leave their daughters behind when it comes to Internet porn. Daughters can slip through the cracks as parents think about what Johnny is doing on the computer but not Jenny. As I talk to parents at my seminars one thing I bring is a 35-page report listing 67 teachers that have had sex with their students. Why? Because in this report the teachers are all female and it illustrates my point about girls and porn. It seems like every few month you hear another story of a female teacher that has been caught having sex with one of her students. Parents need to be aware that you can’t think that you don’t have to keep a close eye on what your child is doing online because she’s a girl. It doesn’t matter what sex they are. A Focus on the Family article said, “Sex addiction is not limited to men. Those who research addiction believe there are as many female addicts as males; it’s just that few have yet been courageous enough to seek treatment.”

Something else parents need to be aware of. According to a USA Today/AP/MSNBC poll 49% of women gave chat rooms as their preferred destination for erotic interaction. I can tell you I have seen some chat conversations between 13 years old girls and teenage boys that were so pornographic in nature it was shocking. And the girls were the ones doing most of the dirty talking. So even if your daughters aren’t going to porn sites do you know whom they’re chatting with and what they’re chatting about? I suggest you find out.

So parents don’t ignore your daughter’s online activities. Jenny may just be getting into more porn online than Johnny. 

Even though the health community hasn’t officially decided if Internet addiction is actually addiction, CNN.com reports that teens with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Depression are more likely to become Internet addicts.

The study surveyed over 2,000 teens in Taiwan, and found that teens with depression, social phobias, and ADHD, were more likely to spend more hours playing online games or on social networks.

Michael Gilbert, a senior fellow at the Center for the Digital Future at the University of Southern California’s Annenberg School for Communication, was not surprised with the findings and said that kids with ADHD would naturally gravitate towards the fast pace of online gaming or social networking. He also added that it would be natural for a child suffering from depression to be more interested in taking on a new identity afforded by an avatar or online persona.

Though the jury is still out on whether or not the Internet poses a legitimate “addiction” threat, this report does serve as a reminder to parents of children with these conditions that they need to be extra-vigilant about their child’s online activities.

If you are looking at all for a filter for your computer then check out Safe Eyes.  Safe Eyes is a complete and user friendly system that anyone can use.

What do the following news headlines have in common?

     • Woman arrested for "broadcasting pornography"

     • Local Substitute Teacher Charged With Child Pornography

     • Former Blues official reaches plea deal in porn case

     • Jail time for youth counselor who had child porn

     • Former Blues official reaches plea deal in porn case

The answer: They’re all headlines that came out today. And these are just a fraction of today’s stories. The moral decay in society is evident in each news cycle. There is another common thread that runs through these stories. Everyone charged or arrested for their porn related activities in these stories were kids at one time. Now I have no idea how these people were raised or what was or wasn’t allowed in their homes as they grew up. But as parents we have the opportunity to lay a strong foundation of right and wrong for our kids to follow. As moral standards decay that decay is passed on to each generation until there is little morality left.

Child pornography arrests are a common story in the daily news cycle. But will a day come when it’s legal in the US? I hope not but who would have thought that a cartoon character would be on the cover Playboy. The current issue has Marge Simpson, from “The Simpsons” cartoon, on the cover along with a multi-page nude spread of her. Unreal! Why did Playboy choose to use this cartoon character for the cover? According to Playboy they wanted to attract a younger audience to their magazine. Much of the audience who watches this cartoon can’t even legally buy Playboy. But apparently that doesn’t matter to Playboy.

So are we going to be a generation of parents who lets the moral standards decay further or are we going to hold the line? Are we going to empower are children so they in turn can hold the line? I hope so because it’s up to us. None of us want our kids to grow up to be the person in one of the above headlines.

CBS2 Tech Expert Ed Curran makes a very good, salient point to parents: iPhones and iPod Touches, which are doubtless going to be hot items this Holiday season, are really just little computers. They access the same Internet as a desktop or laptop, and display content in the same way. If you are considering giving one as a gift to a youngster, please install a kid-safe browser like Safe Eyes Mobile before you do.

One of the most confusing areas of Internet Safety for parents has to be online predators.

On the one hand, Nancy Willard of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use, says that the notion that children are in danger from Internet predators is “discredited” and called solicitations from people known only through the Internet “rare.”

On the other side of the debate is just about every police precinct in the country that is ramping up efforts to catch Internet predators, and of course the hundreds of predators caught on “To Catch a Predator.”

Parents are receiving two completely contrasting messages from two trustworthy sources: child online safety groups, who obviously want to keep children safe, and police, who of course are only interested in fighting actual crime.

I decided to do my own research by seeking out a chat room, creating a profile, and seeing what I got. Frankly, it was sickening and I invite all concerned parents to do this for themselves.

1. Google “chat room” and click on the first organic result (if you have Safe Eyes on you    will need to disable it to access the site)

2. Click on “Kids Chat” and create a profile

3. Wait and watch

Everyone’s experience will probably be a little different, but this was mine:

* I immediately saw a post asking girls if they wanted to be webcam models (keep in mind this is “Kid’s Chat” so they are not looking for women of legal age)

* I received several (at least 4) invitations to personal chats within the first minute I was in the chat room, one of whom claimed to be a 23 year old male (my screen name told that I was 14 and female). Invitations kept coming the entire time I was in the chat.

* I was asked to trade pics by a male poster

* I was asked what color underwear I was wearing

Not everyone I encountered claimed to be older, but from the chat there was absolutely no way of knowing if anyone in the chat room was giving accurate information. The topics, if they could be called that as there was practically no discussion at all, were 100% sexual. Whether or not the room was filled with “DOM” (Dirty old men in chat parlance), despite it being a chat room intended for kids, the content was not only sexual, but mostly posted with the intent of furthering the contact outside of the chat room.

Please do not take my word on this. To really experience what chat rooms are all about try this out for yourself.

Our daughter turned 17 earlier in the year. We can't believe how fast she has grown up or that this time next year she will be away at college. Next fall she will be away from home for the first time living on her own and making her own decisions. Can I be honest? I'm nervous. 

The reality that our daughter will soon be entering into the adult world has thrown my husband and I into parenting hyper drive. We only have 12 months to make sure that she has a firm grasp on adult skills like balancing a checkbook, paying bills on time, doing her homework, and reading a road map. If I'm being honest, I have to admit that she has been somewhat spoiled and we worry about whether or not we've prepared her for everything she may experience next year.

Let's face it, campus life has changed dramatically since I was in school. Check out this Crag's List ad that was recently placed by a porn production company specializing in amateur college porn films. The ad which ran near the University of Michigan campus read:

"The campus invasion is on again and coming to Ann Arbor, Mich. If your frat or group is interested in hosting our adult stars for a night of filming and fun let us know. You will be compensated and will enjoy the experience. Please, email your contact information."

This ad was designed to recruit college students by promising a fun party where they would have the opportunity to have sex with professional porn stars and earn a bit of spare cash. 

As we prepare our daughter for her first year away we realize that there are some things that we can't cram into this last year. Character development tops the list. Proverbs 22:6 says; "Start children off on the way they should go and even when they are old they will not turn from it." Temptations to engage in sexual behavior on college campuses have obviously increased since I've been a student. And the consequences of falling into that temptation are far greater that ruining a credit score or ditching a study group. Character development starts young and takes time. We're hoping that we have started young enough, reinforced loud enough, and prayed hard enough to influence her character and bring her up in a way that will protect her from the 'promises' of campus ads like these. 

Cyber-Bulling is an ever-increasing problem for kids and it’s having devastating consequences like suicide and self-harm. Yale University researchers, after reviewing studies done in 13 countries, found that victims of bullying were 2 to 9 times more likely to report suicidal thoughts than other children. Some parents think cyber-bulling is just the online version of the bullying that happened at school when they were kids but cyber-bullying follows kids home from school. Between their cell phone and home computer kids can now be bullied 24/7 if front of thousands of kids online. Being harassed by one kid at school is bad enough but being harassed an embarrassed in front of your whole school online is something else entirely.

Parents, you need to know the risks your kids are facing in this area. Here are some stats you need to know:

- 43% of teens have been harassed online

- 90% of middle school students have had their feelings hurt online

- Girls are twice as likely as boys to be the victims of cyber-bullying and the perpetrators

- Teens using social networking sites, like MySapce, are almost twice as likely to be victims of cyber-bullying than those that don’t

So how do you cut the Cyber-Bull. First, you need to talk with your children about cyber-bullying (what it is and the dangers) and layout the rules for appropriate Internet usage. Second, you need to start monitoring your kid’s online activities. You can do this in person (just be around and ask what they’re doing online) and with software, like SafeEyes, that can record chat conversations, monitor social networking activities and email. Third, look for potential warning signs (they’re withdrawn - are obsessed with their use of their computer or cell phone - are depressed) that could indicate your child is a victim or perpetrator of cyber-bullying. None of these are a silver bullet that will solve all cyber-bullying but it’s a place to start and an opportunity to engage with you kids.

A recent poll said that parents were not doing enough to prevent bullying. Maybe it’s because they didn’t know how. Well now you do so go engage with your kids and help “Cut the Bull”.

We asked Dr. Robi, who has a strong background in developmental psychology, how to reconcile some of his findings with a study conducted in Switzerland which found no link between early exposure to pornography and deviant sexual behavior later in life. Here’s his answer: