Thanks everyone for joining us on this site and the teens section. As you may know we get new bloggers from time to time and this is my chance to introduce you to a new member of that team. Mat Slagle is the drummer for a band called "The Letter Black" They are a band that has some very powerful songs that I fell really speak into the hearts of a lot of our readers here on this site. So please welcome Mat and I lok forward to seeing how God work through him for you.

Brian Mac

"The Letter Black Drummer"

My name is Mat Slagle. I am the drummer for the new Christian hard rock band The Letter Black. I've been playing since August of 2005.

I was a porn addict from age 12 to age 21. It poisoned my entire teenage life and destroyed alot of who I was and who my family wanted me to be.
The first time I was exposed to porn was at a new years eve party, it was the year of Y2K. I was spending the night at a friend's house and they had digital cable. I slept alone in the living room where they had a big screen t.v. and no parental blocks. I found the channels with porn on them and was instantly drawn in. From then on I was not only drawn, but curious. I've learned that the most difficult thing about the continuous addiction of porn is that what you watch is endless. There are so many different things to watch and search for that it seems to never get old.

I was born into a Christian family and went to church since before I can remember. I never had a "defining moment"with God and somehow always felt stale with my Christian walk. So I turned to porn as my outlet.

It alienated me from my family and only caused me to fall into the wrong crowds and the wrong influences. I found myself cheating on my girlfriend, mistreating her just to have sex. I was a person I always saw on t.v. And always disliked. I've been caught five times, I have lied and skipped out on church, school, family events, pretty much everything I could get of I did. Just to sit at my computer. It wasn't until 2007 that things changed dramatically, I attended a Christian treat called Aquire the Fire. I saw Pillar and Red perform.

Something happened that weekend that broke me down completely. I experienced God for the first time and it was amazing. I rededicated my life that night and went home super charged. Unfortunately I relapsed and fell back into porn addiction, it continued until early 2010 when I made a huge mistake. I cheated on the girl I love because I was in a dark place and fell way off the path. I made a decision to finally truly live for God in every aspect of my life, especially when the doors are closed and no one is at home. Since then I have turned my life completely around, I love life and love God with all my heart. I want to portray an attitude of Christ with my position in The Letter Black. He truly saved me from a deathly addiction and turned me around. He gave me my life back.

I don't know how many of you watch the show "Man v. Food", but the shows host Adam is seriously a food guy. He can simply put stuff away. From monster burgers to six and a half pound milkshakes; crazy. You have to wonder though, mainly because the Travel Channel never shows it, what happens when he gets "too" full? That's all off camera stuff I guess, but I can't imagine all that food sitting well. Especially the hot stuff.

The hot stuff is a tricky thing. From challenges with six wings to others with twelve. As much as he can put some of them down, there are some he just can't handle. The tears pour down his face. The sweat more than beads up. It's all that capsaicin building up to critical levels. Really, we aren't supposed to eat that stuff. 

That's the deal. We aren't supposed to be putting those things into our bodies. It's too hot. It hurts too much. Over time, we will eventually either cause ourselves to callous, or worse, end up with holes everywhere inside. 

1 Corinthians 6:18 // 2 Timothy 2:22

The things we are supposed to stay away from are sometimes the things we are attracted to the most, and it's these things that can end up hurting us more than anything else. 

So instead of putting ourselves into a position to get burned, let's just stay away from the things that will end up calloused, and full of holes.

This question irks me. It's no different than asking "What's the absolute minimum, the lowest standard, the easiest road... What is the slimmest quality of sexual purity I can hold on to without getting into trouble with you guys?"
Really? That's what we were called to as Christian men?

When Jesus gave the command to love your neighbor as yourself, a man asked him "Who is my neighbor?". That man also wanted to know the minimum standard; he wanted to know who his "neighbor" was so that he could also know who his neighbor wasn't. He didn't want to waste any time with non-neighbors. Jesus answered him with the parable of the Good Samaritan, the moral being everyone that you encounter is your neighbor! There is no minimum standard, there is simply the command to love. You either take it up or you walk away from it.

Jesus came to set us free from the Law, but we still want to treat the Bible as a legal document. We want loopholes that allow us to do what we know we shouldn't. We want loopholes that excuse us from doing what we know we should but don't want to do. We treat Salvation like a contract and we want to know the absolute minimum required from us to uphold our end. Or, we treat Salvation like a contract knowing that God will uphold His end whether we uphold ours or not.

So conversations about real-life sexual immorality, pornography, masturbation, or whatever too often end up in debates over hermeneutics or the proper translation of some Greek word. Yes, I know that masturbation is not explicitly mentioned anywhere in the Bible. Neither is kicking puppies. Does the fact that God has not explicitly forbid me from kicking puppies mean that I can justify it? No. Ok, then.

We were called, commanded, to a way of life that is good, and a huge part of walking in that way of life is pursuing sexual purity. We know that at least. We were not called to merely meet a set of minimum requirements.

In my next post, I'll give you the only two verses you'll ever need to guide your thinking about sexual morality. Yes, these two verses will forever answer the questions of "How far can I go?" and "What can I get away with?", but they will also take us from code to calling in regards to our sexuality. And neither of these verses are about sex.

Think back to Genesis (the first book of the bible). God makes Adam, then Eve out of Adam's rib and bam- the first marriage. The two become acquainted (probably much more than acquainted- I mean, this is the first coming together of not just husband and wife, but also man and woman), probably a seriously hot evening, and there you go. Something so much more than fleeting casual sex. 

If you read the Genesis account thoroughly enough, you notice that the garden was also a place where God literally dwelled with man. I mean, think about what that must have been like; felt like- to simply hang out with God. Seriously. 

Let's put some pieces together. 

Adam. Eve. God. Garden. Together. WORSHIP - for the very first time. 

Not to freak anyone out who is putting the pieces together in their head, but when Adam and Eve came together for the very first time (and really, every time after that), God was there. Yeah, I know; totally grossed me out the first time I thought that too. But as a part of His creation, this is what's going on. 

You see, sex is this holy moment when husband and wife come together in an act of united worship, in the presence of God. God is there. As you can see, in no way shape or form is sex this hit and miss, casual affair. Sex is a big deal, and we so forget that, over and over as we recycle our mess of forgetting how big a deal it is. 

With God in our midst, even during the most intimate times, how can we not take it so seriously? An image coming across the computer screen. A more than gentle touch of self. A movie left on way too long. An affair... not to remember. All these things, and more, are you coming together in the very presence of God.

We should dwell on such matters. Take them to heart. Think about them the next time we are tempted to betray the holiness God so desires. 

1 Corinthians 10:13 // No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

^{1 Peter 1:13-16 //} Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. ¹⁴As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. ¹⁵But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; ¹⁶for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." (See also Leviticus 11:44,45; 19:2; 20:7)

The producers and writers of the show had a way with emotions, relationships; in some ways they changed the fabric of social culture and paved the way for an entirely new genre of television to emerge and succeed. 

The show also paved the way for a culture shift, in where the unacceptable was acceptable. With each new episode, they pushed the boundaries of almost every hot button issue out there. Take for example the episode, “The One With Free Porn” (Season Four). In the episode, Chandler and Joey turn on the television to find out they have free porn on their cable. They plan their day around it. They bring others in on it. When the channel accidentally gets changed, they cry out “No” and scramble to the set to check and see if they still had it (the free porn) upon changing the channel. Indeed, they did still have the free porn, and yes, we still watched. 

Now while I liked the show, in many ways I struggled with it. I guess I am still guilty of watching it to this day. I don’t know what that says about me, but perhaps I have some insight into where our culture is today and some of the reasons we struggle with sexuality in the ways that we do. 

We have created a culture where the unacceptable is acceptable and...

... are doing what is right in our own eyes. The book of Judges is strewn with this sentence (there are several translations that vary on the exact phrasing, but they all center around the same general idea- check out Judges 3:7, 4:1, 6:1). 

I’ve heard a number of excuses from people caught in the middle of their sin as to why what they’re doing is fine. From “it’s not hurting anyone” to “it’s not a big deal”, “I’ve got it under control”; really, we can come up with anything here. Any way you look at it, it’s just a mask over reality. 

Deuteronomy 7:26 says it like this- Do not bring a detestable thing into your house or you, like it, will be set apart for destruction. Utterly abhor and detest it, for it is set apart for destruction. Perhaps this is a stern warning to do everything we can to keep the unacceptable from becoming acceptable. 

When it comes to our struggles in sexuality, we know this is a battle. The Apostle Paul speaks to the church in Corinth saying “I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ,” (2 Corinthians 11:3). 

We have been deceived. We have played into a trap. There is no such thing as “free porn”. It has a high price. Don’t think for a second that you’re too young to rise up from this (1 Corinthians 10:13). This is not beyond you. The struggle for purity and the strength to rise up beneath it all is and will always be difficult. But be encouraged by these words, that  though we have all been a part of creating this culture, we no longer have to be.

If you are looking for a place to confess what you are going through or just would like to know that you are not alone in this please visit this section of the site by CLICKING HERE.

I love when this happens and it happened to me this week. And it happened at a time when I really really needed a certain passage to take on some fresh meaning for me.

I'm talking about Matthew chapter 4, where Jesus is taken into a desert and tempted by Satan, trying to get him to give in to him. I haven't read this passage a lot for myself but I felt like I knew it pretty well and that I understood all there was to understand. Boy was I wrong!

In my last post I talked about struggling with temptation. And one of the things I have really struggled with when I have been tempted by porn is to understand where Jesus was in it. I would pray and I would ask him to help and often he did, but somehow he felt distant and I pretty much felt like he didn't understand what I was going through.

I mean I have heard on countless occasions that Jesus knows exactly what it feels like to be us. He knows what it feels like to go through our struggles. But I couldn't quite believe that. How can Jesus know what it is like to be tempted by porn?! He may well have been tempted sexually but it certainly isn't reported in the Bible.

But reading Matthew 4 again, something hit me which has changed my whole look on Jesus. And the thing that hit me most were verses 8 and 9 (the message)
For the third test, the Devil took him to the peak of a huge mountain. He gestured expansively, pointing out all the earth's kingdoms, how glorious they all were. Then he said, "They're yours—lock, stock, and barrel. Just go down on your knees and worship me, and they're yours."

Jesus was tempted twice by Satan but then on the third time, he offers Jesus everything. He offers him power and prestige and control. He offers him the chance to control and rule the world.

There is a little problem though in that Satan can't offer him any of this. According to Satan if Jesus just bows to him he can have it all. But it isn't Satan's to give. Satan does not have any authority to give this to Jesus. It's a big stinking lie. Plain and simple.

I thought about when we struggle with temptation and I realized that this is exactly what Satan does with us. He offers us an escape. "If I was just to take the time to look at that website or buy that magazine, then everything would be ok. The things I was looking for would be given to me. The hurt or void in my life that I thought porn could fill would be gone...."

When you struggle with porn or lust it is usually because there is something you are trying to fix. We use it to fix our past, our feelings of abandonment, our self image issues. We turn to porn to give us back control we feel we have lost somewhere. For me it may be issues to do with losing my father. A loss of a father figure. A loss of the type of love that a Father gives. For others it may be abuse they suffered or other parental junk from your past.

You were raped as a kid so you look at porn because it gives you a feeling of control again. Something, which was taken from you. There are a hundred and one reasons why people turn to porn but I believe that regaining control over a feeling of helplessness or despair is a very big reason.

And it's at this point that I realised that Jesus does know what it feels like to be sexually tempted. Because Jesus was offered the chance to have control by Satan. Verse 1 tells us that Jesus had been fasting for forty days and nights and he was hungry. We don't know what Jesus dealt with during that time, but I bet he thought about what lay ahead for him. We know from Matthew 26 v 39 that Jesus was human because he asked for God to provide an alternative from him dying on the cross.

"My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?" (the message)
Jesus was scared. Jesus knew that this was not going to be nice. Wow Jesus was human. I read these two passages and suddenly I realized Jesus was just like us. I started to see Jesus as someone who understood everything I went through. This changes everything.

Back to the desert.

Jesus was hungry. He was vulnerable. He needed filled up. If you struggle with porn it's because you are hungry. You are vulnerable. You need filled up.
Wow. Are you getting that?!

And when Satan offers him a chance to get back a feeling of control over everything that was going through his head, it must have been very tempting.
Jesus knows exactly what it's like to be tempted by porn. And he didn't cave. He stood firm. He knew that not giving in was what was really going to fill that hole. He knew that only God could really offer what he needed.

And if Jesus can do it then so can we. He is with me now all the time and so that means his power is in me and you and anyone who loves him.

I have been tempted a few times recently and when I am I remember this. I remember that Jesus does understand what I am feeling and because he loves me he shows me how to get past the temptation. If nothing else just knowing Jesus understands is enough for me to resist. Knowing that Jesus does care. Because now I don't feel alone. I don't feel like I am the only one who goes through this.

Jesus knows.
Jesus understands.
Jesus does know what it feels like.
Jesus survived the desert.
Which means you can too.

Beware of getting alone to feed the wrong things.

• Time on the Internet
• Time with pornographic mags & movies
• Isolating ourselves from other people
• Running away from our hurts and from our relationships
• Busying ourselves with anything that sucks our creativity

 A LIE ABOUT ALONE TIME
“But I’m a loner.”, some would say. 
“I’m an introvert.” 
“I need my alone time so I can refresh, regroup, and be creative. “

The lie about alone time is:  I am designed to be alone.

God has created us to connect with others.  We may enjoy being alone.  But don’t think that you are created to naturally be alone. 

Many of us are socially awkward.  We don’t have much experience with relationships.  That’s not being introverted.  That’s being socially, emotionally and relationally immature. 

• Addicts like to be alone so they can act out. 
• Addicts like to be alone because they can hide their secrets. 
• Addicts like to be alone because they don’t have to be accountable to others. 
• Addicts like to be alone because they don’t feel rejection. 
• Addicts like to be alone so they won’t have to feel the pain. 
• Addicts like to be alone so they can be in control.

** Pause for 10 more seconds. 
Q:  How’s your alone time doing? 
Q:  Is it feeding your addiction or helping you heal?

This blog comes from our friends at Porn to Purity.

So we created social experiments online where students, parents and our spheres of influence could all come together and ask questions no one was answering for them. Where questions could be answered raw, the way they needed to be, straight from the biblical context. Let's not pull any punches or candy coat anything. We all know that this is a serious conversation for our students, so instead of putting a smile on it, let's deal with it. 

So what have we found? We have found that deeper conversations on life and faith are happening. That pressure is being released and God is taking over. That God can be in control and lead you, wen you have a desire to do so. 

Perhaps one of the reasons culture has such a firm grip on sexuality is because the church is either afraid to address the hard stuff. Maybe the church just doesn't know how to. In any case, we, along with several other ministries are tackling this thing head on. 

Would this make a difference for you in the student ministries available to you? To speak wide open about the issues that affect you the most. In small groups and in open forums? If so, how can we help you and your churches succeed in this? Too often we are told students can't make  difference. Such a lie. Today, you have an opportunity to open this thing up and start the hard conversations that need to happen. Will you take the lead and make the difference, one life at a time? 

When I was told it I didn’t like it either.

But it’s true.

Are you ready? Here it is.

If you struggle with porn and you want to be free, you are going to have to tell someone.

There you have it. I told you, you wouldn’t like it.

There are just no two ways about it. You won’t be able to stop looking at porn all by yourself. You need help.

But if you think about it. This isn’t really bad news at all. This is really really great news. This is news that will bring you life.

Because now you can stop pretending. Now you can stop acting like you are doing well, when really you are dying inside because people think you are someone you are not.

Some of you will maybe be offended by me telling you this. That’s because as humans we have this disease where we think we need to be able to look good to the people around us. That we need to do everything on our own.

We can’t admit our weaknesses to people because if we do then we aren’t who we are claiming to be. We might just be ashamed of our secret lives.

But we shouldn’t be ashamed.

Yeah sure you may look at porn and you may know it is damaging your life and your relationships. And sure, you may be addicted to it.

But we shouldn’t be ashamed to tell others that we struggle.

Because if we are and we bottle our dirty little secret up, then we are stopping what Jesus did for us on the cross from having its full effect.

Because we are free from shame. See Romans 8 v 1 if you don’t believe me.

Maybe you just looked at porn for the hundredth time and you are feeling those same feelings.

Shame. Guilt. You want to disappear. You wish you were the last person on Earth.

You want to know why you need to tell someone?

That’s your answer there. Because those feelings of guilt and shame won’t go away until you do. And you won’t stop being able to look at porn.

Do you ever wonder why Jesus sent his disciples out in pairs?

Because he knew that they couldn’t survive alone. If the disciples needed to be accountable to each other then we definitely do. Why do we think we can beat it alone? Why do we want to keep hold of the shame we feel every time we look at porn?

Something happens when you tell someone. Something supernatural in your battle. I can’t explain it. I can’t really even define it. But it’s like we finally open up the cross and let its power pour out.

Shame has been totally removed from our lives but we hold onto it for some crazy reason, by not talking to someone.

We are living like we don’t believe in what Jesus did on the cross.

When you tell someone you won’t be able to stop Jesus’ power working in your life. It will be the most important thing you will do in your process of recovering from porn. It will give you your life back. It will allow you to like yourself again. Even love yourself again. You will want to be more real with people. You will want to then help other people. You won’t have anything against you anymore. You won’t need to get up in the morning and be tense about going out. You won’t have a reason to hide. You will start to remember that God loves you like you used to believe, before porn got its claws into you.

Now that’s great news isn’t it?!

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. “ Psalm 103:12

The other day my friend was talking about the idea of God forgiving and forgetting our sins. This is something I have heard so many times yet this is the first time it really struck me. I have been wrestling with what defines me, as it is so easy to let my porn addiction define me. Especially as a woman porn addict, I feel like the addiction is that much more serious and defining because it seems to be so rare (which is such a lie in itself!).  That brings up a whole other issue in itself, creating a picture in my mind that my porn addiction is so huge and such a bigger problem than anyone else’s. How can I have pride with the sin I struggle with? That is just twisted!

It is so easy to look over who God has created me to be and to allow my sin and mistakes define who I am. I think this is one of Satan’s greatest tricks. He wants us to believe that we cannot measure up and that we always will have our sin be a part of us. This is true, we are sinful but God doesn’t define us by our mistakes.

I started thinking about how it is so hard for us to forgive ourselves and let it be. We often bring up our sin over and over again in our prayers and conversations. We cannot let it go and we so easily assume that God sees us as addicts as well.  But if the above verses are true, God truly forgets our sin once we ask for forgiveness. If this is the case, He cannot see us as addicts or someone who struggles with the same sin over and over. It is so easy to get caught in that trap of feeling guilty for struggling with the same sin and letting it become a part of who you are. God sees us as His children though and He doesn’t dwell on the sin, so why should we?

Over the last few weeks I have been spending some time praying and reflecting on who I am, aside from my addiction. It has not been easy as for the last two years I have only seen myself as a dirty addict and sinner. It is hard for me to see the good things when I have this ugly thing standing in the way.  Even though this process has been hard, it has been so freeing. The more and more I get away from defining myself as an addict and allowing other people’s opinions define me, the more free I am to be me and I am okay with that. I know that God loves me because I am His child and I am His beautiful creation.

I have recently been listening to this song that uses the phrase, ‘If God is for us, who can be against us?” How true this is! God is our biggest cheerleader and no matter how many times we slip or fall back into our addiction, God is still for us and still loves us. In no way does this excuse our behavior or choices or does it gives us the freedom to keep on sinning. But it does give us the freedom to be loved, be ourselves and keep on moving forward.

Adelaide Brown

I still try to run. I guess it's more of a slow run, walk-like thing now. But still, it's something I enjoy doing. Everything is so nice and smooth on the road. City streets and park trails are great. No issues here. Now, off-road, that's another thing. Beautiful trails through meandering paths amongst the forests, that's where it's at. Centered in God's beauty- what could be better?

If you're familiar with trail running, you know it's not only the best place to run, it's also the best place to trip yourself up. Roots. Rocks. Little snakes that seem like massive tree trunks; it's much more than as it appears. If you take your eyes off the trail for a second, when you least expect it, something is there to trip you up. Every time.  

How similar is this to the life we lead everyday. Everyday we run this trail of life. There are roots, rocks and snakes that are there at a moments notice when we take our eyes off the trail laid out before us.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God," Hebrews 12:2. 

From this, let's pick up on a few key points:

1. Realize that the trail set before you is full of things that want to trip you up.
2. Identify the rocks, roots and snakes that line your path.
3. As you run the trail, stay focused on the goal: Jesus.

As you run this trail we call life, may you realize that when you get tripped up, you have the choice to get right back up and turn those stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

We have all been here. This is a common place to be. Not because it is okay to mess up, but because often times as Christians we look at sexual sin as being something we can just “cure.” This is not the truth. There is no magical moment when sexual sin is just GONE FOREVER. Sorry. That would be nice though. It would be nice if there were a 12 -step process that just made us “better.”

The truth is there is no once and for all answer. There is only work to be done. What I mean by that is, sexual purity is not for the lazy. Sexual purity takes work and dedication. Sometimes that dedication means getting back on the horse when we fall off. It means ALWAYS working with your accountability partner. I have had accountability in my life for years now, and I must say, at times it is the only thing that keeps me going. But it is ALWAYS there to keep me in line.Sexual purity takes constant prayer. I don’t mean that in Christianese, I mean that in saying, without relying on Christ, life gets tough. Not just with purity but in everything. Rely on Him, talk to Him, His grace is here for us all.

My point here is that this takes work. I get literally hundreds of e -mails of people asking how can they stop looking at porn? How can they stop masturbating? When I tell them the truth, that there is no magic answer. That there is real work to be done, that it will not be easy, they seem kind of stunned. That since we have a ministry for this problem that we must have found the solution to a problem that has been around since the beginning of time. That simply is not true. We have only one answer and that is: Christ Jesus loves you and His grace is given unto you freely. The rest of what we have are suggestions. Things to get you on the road to recovery. You must take them and put the time and sweat into it.

The road is hard, it takes work. That is the truth. But I am here to tell you it is possible. I am living proof that accountability and relying on Jesus Christ works. It is possible. You can beat this. You will prevail. You are worth more than the lie that is on the screen in front of you.

Grace and peace from Christ our Lord,

Jordy

Coming from the no cal bay area, I grew up with this trend in culture. Perhaps no where else in the world is expressionism pushed as it is in San Francisco. Under the guise of self-expression, the limits have been pushed and even erased. Today in an article out of The Washing Post, the writer discussed the latest push in the form of a group photo in Australia. Gathered in front of the Opera House stood hundreds of naked people, all for the sake of art. Now I try to be open-minded and willing to listen, but when I saw this, it triggered an almost unfortunate response. You see, things like this sadden me. I know that slowly yet steadily, we are pushing back the lines of accepted artistic expression.

Some say, "don't look then". I would love to buy into that, but when it daily crosses your path, that's not really an option, right? That's one of the reasons we are all here- because things cross our path, we're human, and sometimes we can't help but stumble. 

So what do you think? Is this just another way to express yourself? Is it right or wrong? Is that the correct question to be asking? Do things as subtle as this encroach on all of us, pushing the boundaries back?Really, what's a person to do?

-   -   -   -   Updated, March 8 - 9:47am   -   -   -   -

Who is really in control?

Several posters have stated that it is natural to give into desires, or lustings, that since this is the way God has made us, this can’t be helped; shouldn’t be helped. But really- who is in control then? A while back, handing out condoms in school was a hot button issue. That plays into this too. In it, it is saying that students don’t have the ability or will to control themselves, and again, they shouldn’t. Essentially, there are those out there that think we can’t control ourselves. This puts us right there with the rest of creation, and we are much more than that. We are made in God’s image, to have dominion over creation (and when I say dominion, this is down with loving kindness, not through harsh interaction). No where are we supposed to be equal with beasts, and saying that we can’t control our own actions, puts us all on the same playing field as them.

So really, I guess what I am asking is, can we not accept responsibility of our actions and master our actions, thought processes and the like, or should we just give up and indulge, because really, we can’t help ourselves?

This morning, I see this as a headline: SEX BOT INITIALLY DESIGNED AS A HEALTH AID. I bit; i read the article. It's not like I haven't heard or seen of this thing before, but now, it's actually garnering quite a bit of press. I guess in a way I am adding to the hype. Because for $7000-$9000, you can customize your very own play thing robot online and have it shipped right to your front door. Kind of wonder if it comes in a plain brown box too. Have a problem- plug in the USB and fix it. Don't like the robot's personality; change it. So much is going into this thing, that it just reeks of sin, deception and a whole bunch of other junk. 

Think about the implications of such an invention, and how it relates to your everyday human relationships- though things on the outside may very well be quite fake, the emotions, the psychology; everything that goes into it deceives us into a fake sense of belonging (and a range of other things). 

If we can, let's start our conversation on this note: Knowing the difference between what is real and fake. 

There are often different reasons why teenagers start relationships- status quo, sense of belonging, common interests, and so on the list goes. If you've ever had a relationship before, you know what I am talking about. Sometimes though, we get into a fake relationship, where we aren't really who we say we are to the other person; we lack integrity in that. And so this relationship progresses until you both reach a point to where the fake overcomes the real- the fake you is now who you have become. I know; been there, done that. It happens. It happens in relationships all the time; everyday. 

It also happens in our thought life, with something so simple as what we do online or what we watch on the television or the magazine we just picked up. But that stuff just isn't real. The people on there/in there aren't real. Sure, they real people, but they have a job to do and they're doing a wonderful job at at. 

You have been deceived. We all have. Perhaps you're one of the many teens who are in a dark place right now, because when you first started, you knew it wasn't real, but somehow along the way, it became all you knew. Truth. Maybe you just messed up again, and you just can't seem to stop. That's ok. No one is going to judge you for what's happened. But please, don't buy the lie that people are selling, that this thing is as real as real can be. 

It's only as real as you make it. Yeah- this started off about a man and his robot girl, but it moved on to relationships and personal purity. I guess in the end, we are the ones who truly know what is real and what is not by the way things affect us. This I know for sure, the relationships that we start here, on xxxchurch and beyond, are real. So many stories have been shared that have inspired true change. There is a growing community of accountability that continually lifts one another up. Most importantly, we have been honest with one another, in the dark and in the light, and it can't get much more real than that. 

As we trend across this current generation and culture, the value I see being held by teens and their peers is the value of authenticity. Teens are fed up with fake people. They have been betrayed and tossed aside all too often by those they thought were being real with them. Teens have been dismissed, whether by a loved one or someone they thought they were close to. Coming from a broken home, I get this. 

There is a choice then that we have to make: do we choose the path or authenticity, thus sharing the real me with those we know and love, or choose the path most traveled, and put up the facade? 

If we are surrounding ourselves with those who love us, value us; share common interests and goals, should we not be completely transparent with them? Should we not open our entire lives to them? Sure, this has implications beyond what we share on this site, and perhaps even in our own spiritual journeys. But let's focus in on what goes on here: if we are in the gutter, would we not want someone to reach their hand out and pull us out? I have to say, if I was getting dirty, I would reach back for that hand. 

Maybe I am off here, but something tells me I am on point. If the value is authenticity is held highest above all, then this should be a focus of ours. Imagine your relationships becoming more full every day, as you share your whole life with one another. Not just the stuff that looks good, but the stuff that shakes your soul to the core. Yeah, I know; it's scary... but it's real.