Everywhere we turn, sex is in our faces–from the Internet to the television to our radio to wherever. Sex sells to a consumer culture.
But what about your place in it? If you’re reading this, then you’re probably trying to rally against pornography in your life; so what are you to do in the world that throws it at you?
Well, I can’t answer that, but I can recommend a few tools to so that the assault is a bit less constant and a bit more manageable. Think of these as “lifehacks” for porn recovery:
1) Give up television but keep your programs.
If you want to watch a TV program (assuming the program itself isn’t packed with sexual imagery), watch it on DVR, a streaming device with minimal ads, or DVD. It’s that simple. Advertisers want to get your attention and your money. Blatant sexual imagery is effective in doing so. Don’t let them tempt you.
2) Turn off pop and shock-talk radio.
How often do singers in pop music encourage you to “meet sexy people” or “do what you want with [her] body? The answer: non-stop. You may think you “only” listen to the beat or “just” find that talk show funny, but you’d be surprised how insidiously you are coaxed back into thinking that masturbation is normal, healthy, and harmless (since they suggest everybody is doing it, and no one seems to care). Want music? Support artists, buy songs, and plug in your iPod.
Maybe it’s your best friend. Or your pastor. Or a parent. Regardless, find at least one (but preferably two or more) person(s) you trust and be real about your struggle. You don’t need to commit to anything beyond talking (though you should), and neither do they (though they might). The reality of taking your issue beyond you is a powerful piece of ongoing recovery. (Tweet This!)
4) Don’t “go on” the Internet; use it with a purpose and then shut it down.
Two things often led me to porn sites: boredom and the desire to return to the sites I found in my boredom. The Internet is like that: anything is a few clicks away. (Tweet This!) These days I don’t take the express lane to the information superhighway unless I am en route to somewhere specific, because surfing it for its own sake is swimming with sharks.
5) When it hits, drop it.
Some triggers will be unavoidable. You’ll be looking at a box of detergent, and the housewife pictured will have the slightest cleavage, or you’ll be at Wendy’s when some cute diner bends down to grab a fry. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, the trigger might hit you, firing on all cylinders. So, what do you do? Simple: accept it and drop it. Boom. Done. Acknowledge to yourself it happened, and then just keep living like it didn’t. How does this help? Two ways: first, it gets you noticing HOW OFTEN you are letting your eyes and mind drift; and when you start being intentional about this, you tire of your own perversion; second, doing this deflects a “latent trigger” three hours later when you’re bored at home, and you’re reminded of the diving neckline. You won’t want to remember it because you’re already over it.
I’m not saying you should give up television shows, or music, or the Internet, and I’m not demanding you meltdown if you catch yourself looking at something you shouldn’t. I’m just providing a few tools to help you avoid likely triggers and face them if you must.
Because you will face them; but now you have the lifehacks to get through them.