Dating Tips for Girls. Guys. And Grown Ups.

by Shellie R. Warren on July 11th, 2011 in Women

So…

Last week, on the “On Fire” blog, I penned a piece on chivalry entitled, “If Chivalry Is Dead…*We Killed It*”. And do you know what really tripped me out? In one of the articles that I researched, the author actually stated (and good for them!!!) that a way to be noble is to *not watch porn*. Hmph. I’ll have to talk to Craig about doing a T-shirt that lists: Open the door. Walk on the outside of sidewalks. Turn off your porn. Yeah, I’m LOL’ing, but I’m dead serious.

Anyway, it seemed like a good set-up for another article that I checked out over the weekend on WebMD. It’s a piece from their “What Girls Need to Know About Growing Up” series entitled, “Is This Love? Teen Tips for Romance and Dating“. The tips are as follows:

Dating Tip #1: Take Your Time: The Date Can Wait.

Dating Tip #2: Find Someone Who Likes You Back.

Dating Tip #3: Move on from Setbacks.

Dating Tip #4: Talk About Facebook Before You Talk on Facebook.

Dating Tip #5: Protect Yourself from Pressure.

I’m gonna include a liner from Tip #5: Pressure is not love, and it’s not even normal. PRESSURE IS NOT LOVE. ON THE GIVING OR RECEIVING END.

Dating Tip #6: Give Love Time to Grow.

Amen. Amen. A-MEN!

To be perfectly honest with y’all, I’m not so sure why this was geared to *only* teenagers. Shoot, I know *a lot of grown folks* who could benefit from this insight as well. A chivarlous guy is gonna act responsibly. A virtuous gal will too.

And then I came across another article. One that sho ‘nuf, initially, garnered a side-eye from me: “Scientists Discover the Point of Sex“. Hmph. I wonder if they got paid for their research because I could’ve definitely spared them *a lot of time* by simply sending them a link to Biblegateway.com to check out Genesis 1 and 2. (sigh) Or, I would’ve sent them a link to Tim Alan Gardner’s “Sacred Sex: A Celebration of Oneness in Marriage” book. Anyway, according to the study (conducted on worms, by the way), aside from reproduction, sex is also to ward off parasites. Sex keeps you leech-free? *Really?!?* Who knew? Oh, yeah. The Word, which is God (John 1:1) tells us that too:

“Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”—I Corinthians 7:5 (NKJV)

Again, married folks, I’m LOL’ing yet *dead serious*. Anyway, some of us call him “the devil”. Some call him “a parasite”. Potato. Po-tah-toe (LOL). The point in all of this is in all that we do, we should look for the *purpose* and we should opt to discover the *point* in it all. As much as possible. Before engaging. *On any and every level*.

You have *no idea* how many teens I work with who go to church, would consider themselves to be Christians and were *never told* the purpose of sex. And yet, their parents send them on dates? And then wanna clown when their children have sex defined (and often ill-defined) for them elsewhere? When the Word says “Train up a child in the way that he should go” (Proverbs 22:6)…the fact that we see a lot of people growing up and departing from God’s biblical standard(s) for sex (Hebrews 13:4) is because they weren’t properly prepared to begin with. The *world* tells them about reproduction. The *world* tells them how to date. THE WORLD IS THEIR STANDARD. People perish for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). When it comes to sex, this is often a literal statement.

What we have to be must careful of is that the *world* has its own agenda and supporting the covenant of traditional marriage and the blessings and privileges that come with it is not on the top (or even middle of) its “to do” list. Case in point: on the same site as the dating tips, I read a link to another article *recommending* that toddlers masturbate…so they can learn how to please themselves. Wow. Just wow.

Bottomline, a good tip should give you a clue on how to get to something great. Something worthy. Something of purpose. The dating tips above, in my book, are stellar because they complement standards how on to cultivate a healthy relationship. Sharing the purpose of sex is *vital* because (prayerfully) it shows young people that dating and sex do not go hand-in-hand. Not (just) because they are *too young* but because they are *not married*. And that science article? Well, like I said, if *we* don’t teach ‘em…*somebody will*.

Train ‘em up. And if you weren’t properly trained, study up (2 Timothy 2:15-AMP). There’s a world *full* of misinformation. Oh, but there’s a Bible full of good tips too.

For girls. For guys. And for grown-ups (Titus 2).

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