Men and Women Communicate Differently.

Let’s face it; men and women communicate differently. Some would even say we speak different languages. Never have I found this statement to be more accurate until marriage.

When men communicate, they often talk with the “give them the meat, throw away the bone mentality.” However, women often want the meat, the bone, the fat, the seasoning, the marinade, the cooking temperature, and the cook time type of conversations.

How to Communicate More Effectively

Problems will arise in relationships/marriages if we don’t learn to communicate on a level that our significant other best receives from. Ladies, this means you should be okay with giving your man the short version of the story. Men, if your lady wants all the details, then you should give her all the details.

The struggle with communication is that it requires patience. We all came from different backgrounds and were all raised differently. We can’t assume the way we communicate is the same way our partner communicates.

Therefore, to unify our communication, we need to build the bridge. Have you ever asked your partner, “What’s the best way to communicate with you?” Some people shut down when the tone of one’s voice becomes too loud. Some need you to be extremely choosey with your words, while others require you to be direct with them. You’ll only understand the level of communication your partner best receives from by asking them.

In Genesis chapter 11, when everyone had the same language, they built effectively. However, the moment God confused their language, they could no longer produce. We know this passage refers to God confusing their language because they wanted to build their name instead of His. I don’t condone this; however, there is wisdom to reap from this passage.

When you’re in unison with your speech, there isn’t a goal you cannot reach. Most goals lay by the wayside because of misplaced communication.

When counseling couples, I’ve found communication is one of the biggest struggles many couples face. There is no better place to turn for help with this struggle than the Bible. There are a few scriptures that have helped my wife and me, and many others learn to communicate effectively, especially in times of dispute.

Wisdom From God’s Word

The scriptures are:
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.” -Matthew 5:9

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.” -Galatians 5:22-23

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry.” -James 1:19


Read through the scriptures above, and ask yourself, “Have I been communicating with my spouse according to these scriptures?” If not, why and how can you fix that next time a disagreement arises?


Heavenly Father, I don’t know it all, but You do. I pray for the wisdom to communicate effectively with my partner. Let my words be grace-filled, edifying, and inspiring, so we can glorify Your name and build our God-given dreams. In Jesus’ name.


For more marriage talk, join our 14-day challenge to a more passionate relationship by picking up your copies of Fresh Fire written by my wife, Brittni, and I. You can grab your copies here.