The Routined Couple

We are a very routine couple. Richard wakes up every day at 5 am to grab a coffee and seek the Lord. I, on the other hand, am routine when it comes to health and fitness. I work out 5-6 days a week and eat the same types of foods, meal after meal. The other day my husband came along to the grocery store with me, and I felt horrible when he asked, “Do we have to have a salad for dinner AGAIN?” I thought, “Wow, I am boring my husband with the types of food that I love.”

This conversation opened my eyes. I realized that to keep my husband satisfied in our marriage and keep him from growing bored (which in this case he already had), I must break the routine. 

Repetitive dinners are an easy fix, but the real caution lies when our love life becomes routine. What once may have won your partner’s attention doesn’t ensure that it will forever keep their attention. Therefore, we must learn to break the routine. 

When you break the routine, you break away from familiarity. If there’s one thing that can destroy a relationship-it’s familiarity. 

The Bible teaches us in Matthew 13:58 (NLT) “And so he did only a few miracles there because of their unbelief.” Jesus couldn’t do many miracles in his hometown because the people grew familiar with him. Their familiarity hindered Jesus from doing miracles because they became comfortable with him. 

Could the reason why your love life might need a miracle is because things have become too familiar? 

Here’s what familiarity does: It causes you to value others more than you value your partner. 

Familiarity can cause you to find excitement in things over your relationship. Familiarity will also cause you to grow comfortable with each other. Comfort is the enemy of growth. If you aren’t growing, then your relationship is slowly dying, and that’s why we need to break the routine. 

How to Break the Routine

I bet you’re asking yourself, “What does that look like for me?” Switch things up. Instead of going out to eat, you could cook your partner their favorite meal. Instead of watching an action movie, you could switch it up and watch a romantic flick. 

Ladies, if you’re married, I would suggest you get dressed up for your husband and show him just how much you love him (wink wink). What man wouldn’t love that? 

Men, buy your wife her favorite flowers and candy, JUST BECAUSE!

We have a workshop called Best Sex Life Now! If you’re looking to break the routine, by stirring up your sex-life, check it out here!

My point is, do something out of the ordinary. You can’t sow the same seed and expect a different harvest. If you want a fresh fire, stir up the Fire, and break the routine. 



Have you become routine in your relationship? If so, what could you do differently to stir up the Fire? 


God, help me not to grow familiar with my partner. I acknowledge my partner is a gift from you, and I don’t want to become comfortable in my relationship/marriage. Please give me the wisdom to break the routine in my relationship/marriage. In Jesus’ name.


This blog is inspired by Richard and Brittni De La Mora’s books, Fresh Fire- a 14-day challenge to a more passionate relationship! If you’re looking to spice things up in your relationship/marriage, then join us on this 14-day challenge. There are two books; Fresh is for the men, and Fire is for the women. At the end of each chapter, you’ll take on a challenge together with your partner. You can grab your copies of Fresh Fire here.