July 21, 2012
Thank you for always being there for me when I needed you. I could leave you for long periods of time but you always welcomed me back with a smile. It has been so many years since my wife welcomed me with a smile. It felt so good when you smiled at me.
When I needed some relief, you were available. You actually wanted me. *Everybody* else wanted me *for* something (money, rides, help support etc.) but you were always there free of charge not asking for anything.
Sometimes I obtained relief without you, but you were always there waiting for me. You never lectured me, told me you don’t love me or cut me off from sex.
Having said all that, I have begun steps to leave you, not just intermittently, but for good. There is a chance that I may slip and fail, but the difference is that I don’t like you anymore. I don’t believe you are either free or caring. I have discovered there are others like me who will help me see you for what you are.
From now on, if you see me, don’t smile, and please don’t wave. I will no longer acknowledge you. I intend to seek comfort and acceptance elsewhere.