Letter to myself:
Dear sex addict,
You have controlled my life for years. For years you have convinced me that you are the key to satisfaction. For years you have tried you hardest to root my identity in sexual perversion. For years you have distorted my mind into favoring attractions to men over women. You had me convinced that God’s plan is flawed, and that I can only find satisfaction in the way that you have shown me. You had me convinced that I was alone in this world and that none would be able to understand or help me. Even today you have me doubt my own strength to resist you. But I am not alone.
I know that the God of this world loves me. I know that the God of this world will give me strength to fight this battle. I know now that there are people who love me and who can help me. I know that God has saved me for a reason and he desires to see me set free. I know that because of God’s work in my life I can be free of the doubt I have in myself.
I am finally willing to seek the help that I need, that I deserve. I am finally willing to not only tell them the truth, but the whole truth. I am finally willing to let go of my pride in order to serve the God who first loved me better. I am willing to stop lying to myself in order to avoid the pain.
I will protect myself by seeking help from my spiritual leaders. I will seek help by praying to God and remaining in his word. I will defend myself by avoiding compromising situations and times when I am alone. I will guard my mind from lustful thoughts and second glances.
Letter from my sex addict:
Let’s get real, you have already said it yourself, you have been with me for years. What makes you think you can get rid of me? Haven’t you already tried to do this before and failed?
I am the only one that cares for you because you are a freak. Nobody will understand why you are gay nor will they even know what to say. This will only make them feel awkward around you so why would you want to throw away your life? Look, we have gotten so good at keeping this a secret why change now?
People don’t understand what you are going through, and they are only going to talk about you behind your back. Or maybe they won’t, maybe they will just forget about you all together. And what about your friends, I’m sure some of them would love to hear that you have had fantasies of them.
Even now you are having a hard time thinking about all the stuff I can promise you. God can help you get a woman, but that’s not what you really want is it? How are you ever going to find satisfaction if the one thing you want is another man? I can give you that, I can make this dream come true.
I’ll see you soon,
Your true identity