Letter to myself:
Dear sex addict,
No longer will I allow you to rule over my life or my thoughts. I have realized after 13 years of allowing you to control that you never satisfy. My life may be good right now, but I know how destructive you are in my life. The guilt and shame you bring will no longer haunt my soul. I am relying on God to be my King and he has given me this tool in order to hand the controls over the Him. I not only doing this for myself but for others as well:
1) God, so I can be a better servant.
2) My church, my sins affect them.
3) My parents, they have been too great of parents for me to be this deep.
4)Kristina, my girlfriend, I preparing to be husband and I can’t have you in the way.
5) My future, I want to be a youth minister and you are bring me down.
Those women I see on the screen are not objects they humans that were created by God just like me. They are God’s children and they are being hurt and degraded. I should be praying for their salvation and pleasuring myself from their pain. I know you will creep back up and try to come at me with thoughts of my past relationship and ideas to look up. For now on I will keep my phone out of the bathroom and off when I am asleep. Time when you try to have me watch porn will be filled with prayer and reading God’s Word. This is not only a time to be free of you but to be close to Christ! Christ is king over most parts in my life it is time I let him push you out of the way.
Letter from my sex addict:
First things first, you are right that I will creep back up, but I will not only creep back up but I will make you feel so horrible about yourself that you disconnect yourself from everyone that you care for. I will make you doubt yourself so much you will never attend Seminary, or serve in your church. You have made these outlandish cries of war against me and what happens? Every time you come crawling back to me but life is tough and you just need a little relaxation. I may start off small! TV show that talk about sex and YouTube videos with attractive women. Those beautiful women you see at work, I can get you to lust for them. I know one weak point your ex girlfriend who you had a lot of sexual experiences. I mean can you even be a youth minister with that much pre-martial sex? So this new girlfriend may be less likely to give her sex up but I can destroy that too by making you watch porn. I got your number and I know every button to push!
I hope to see you soon!