Letter to myself:
Dear sex addict,
Since before I knew or understood what I was doing you were watching me. Breathing deceit into my ears and telling me that no one will ever love me. That the only place I will ever find acceptance is online. you wait for me to enter into a moment of weakness because that is all you need. One moment, where my guard is let down and before I know it the deed it done. You have slowly numbed my heart, crippled my capacity for intimacy, and distorted my view of women. Your favorite story to tell is that of rejection, depression and seclusion. But I am done giving you room to operate. I am done only playing defense, trying to limit the amount of times you come out on top. I know that I cannot beat you on my own, but here is the thing you try to get me to forget. I am NEVER alone. I have the Holy Spirit of the sovereign Lord living inside of me. We will give you no place to run to or hide, we will seek you out, find what gives you power, and destroy you.
I. Am. Done.
Letter from my sex addict:
hey loser,
Just wanted to remind you that I have never lied to you. You are useless, you will never be good enough, and no one will ever love you. Remember when she left you as you were planning on proposing, yeah, I tried to warn you that if anyone gets to know the real you they will leave. I am sparing you pain of rejection. I am merciful, that is why I am always around. Because despite what your stupid church group tells you, you need me. And we have done this before, you go on a mission to kick me out of your life and within a month I am more firmly established in that sick mind of yours. So spare me, because we both know you will never win.
I will be waiting.