You may have power over me. You may have had victory over me at times. Yet I’ve had a large wealth of successes against you, and knowing that my Christ is with me and wants me to have healing, then I will get it.
You have at times supplanted all joy from my life. You have, at times, consummed me. But you will not, even if you have your way for a little while. Do you not see that as you rear your ugly head, I come closer to God every single time? Do you not see that I am elected by Him, although that make me very uncomfortable to believe that I am that worth it to Him?
You need to back down and let me have my life back. My life with Jessica, a life of love and intimacy. I know that I am scared to fall near her, but I will be honest with her and through the intense pain of my exposing you, I will be purified once again.
I have been told I have a way with words. Not in this prose sense, but poetically speaking. I have been given great gifts from the Giver, and He has continued to bless me through and through. I know that I submit to you a lot, sex addict. It’s embarassing when I do. It hurts and it sucks when I weaken my constitution and let you come over me.
I’ve been caused so much pain by you … do you not see this is not the way? Take His hand, the hand of Jesus, and be healed my friend. I am here to help you. I know that you will be purified by fire, so let it happen. It’s coming whether you like it or not. I want to preserve you in so many ways, but you are not fit for the coming age.
I really try so hard in so many ways to let you exist in my life. But I cannot serve two masters. I never could. And I friggin’ love you! I want you to put down your guard and let Jesus into your darkened corner. It’s so scary to walk that authentically, especially in a world where no one lets you out.
No one in this world will readily accept you. You will be appalled by every walking human (and even some animals!) when you let your colors shine. Yet you must come out. Not it power, but in brokenness. That’s the only way the healing rivers of grace will come to you.
I began writing this letter because I had such a hard day. Triggered to the max by being called “Gary” at school and then being told to shut up while I was sharing something I had thought through carefully. I want you to trust me, trust Jesus, trust that He is good and here to save you. He loves you so much, sex addict, and He will heal you in so many ways and redeem you! He will lift you up as a child of His! Let Him in, let Him in, let Him in!
Blessings, I love you and will love you well as the Teacher teaches,