Letter to myself:
Dear addict,
I want to say that you disgust me, but then I remember that you are me. You have woven yourself into my life, into my thoughts, into my actions. You have created a perfect breeding ground for darkness and sin inside me. You have beaten me down and watched me try to rise, only to fall when farther the next time. You have alienated me from those who love me, driven me away from the faith I was raised with, and poisoned my relationships with my family, my friends, and my God. You have planted in me seeds of doubt in myself, and hatred of myself, so that I no longer believed that I was worth loving, or helping, or saving. You convinced me I was wrong, that I was weak, that I was a mistake, that I deserved to be alone. Here’s what I have to say to you:
You are wrong.
You are a liar.
You are a pessimist.
You don’t know me.
You don’t own me.
I am strong.
I am worthy.
I am loved.
I can rise.
By the grace of God, I will stand. I will learn to love myself despite your efforts to tear me down.
I will fight.
I will win.
If our God is for us, who can stand against us?
Letter from my sex addict:
You are weak. It was easy to trap you, mind, body, and soul. You have tried time and again to “rise” (as you like to day). Where has that gotten you so far? Right back where you started. You’ve made new years resolutions that you haven’t kept. You’ve made promises you’ll never be able to keep because I will always come back. I will always be there, in the back of your mind, waiting for you to slip up I’m not afraid of you. Give it your best shot.