Dear C,

You’re right. I have been failing more often. But that’s not because of God. That’s because I’ve been holding back. I’ve been holding back from my accountability partner, from my worship, and in my battle against you. The truth is that you’re just a hurt little boy. You think everyone abandons you. You think that because of the way you felt back then, that you have no friends and no life in God. You have no power. If God has given me the grace to live each and every day, surely he has the grace to let me get past all of my sins. Not just once, not twice, but every time I fail, because I am his chosen. I am I child of God. I have been adopted by him and he will defend me from all who stand against me. You think that I can’t stay pure over theses years, but you’re wrong. I will. I will get up every day and fight to keep myself from temptation; from risky situations, from lethal opportunities, from the loneliness that you use so often to creep back in. I will seek prayer help from those I trust. We will fight back, and in the end, we will win. It will be hard at first. I will probably fail along the way. But right here, right now, I declare that each and every time I do I will get up off the ground, God by my side, and fight even fiercer than before. I have the power of the almighty on my side. Your “power,” means nothing to me now. I’m free from bondage. Free from you. My chains are broken.

You are dead to me,