To the sex addict,
I have finally mustered up some courage to acknowledge you. I always thought you were never real or a make-believe character, but now I know. I’ve taken off the blinders, removed what has been distorting my vision, and am calling it as it is. You are real. I can’t lie to myself anymore saying that we are not friends or have never met. I can’t lie to myself anymore that I have control over you. I don’t. I thought I could kick you out of my life whenever I pleased or walk out on you whenever you weren’t looking, but I was foolish. Not anymore. You are strong. Over the years, you have strengthened your grip on me and even caused me to believe in your lies and deceit. You have been telling me that I can never experience freedom, that I will never be able to shake this, and that I will never be good enough so I better just settle for our relationship. I need to see the truth. Your friendship has never been good for me. It pleases me for a bit, but always leaves me disappointed and hurt. There is never any joy, never any happiness, and never any peace. Only pain and anger exist between us two. I’m writing this letter to let you know that I no longer want to be friends. I no longer want to be acquaintances. I no longer want you in my life. I’m going to make new friends with purity and self-control. I’ve secretly looked down on them for so long thinking that I know what’s best, but obviously being in a relationship with you shows that I don’t. Goodbye sex addict. And you must be wondering how I will do this? What steps am I wiling to take to break our relationship that we have built together over the years? Well, here it is.
1. I’m going to get accountable, truly accountable. Whatever I do, I must confess. I will tell the truth to my mentor(s) and accountability partner no matter what the consequence. Lying will only make the problem worse.
2. I will get connected. I will attend Fuse and other social events with an intent to build healthy relationships with other guys and girls. I must get over my fear and insecurity that women will not like me. I must accept rejection and be confident in who I am and in who God has made me to be. I cannot please everyone. I will come out of my shell and be more proactive in building relationships with others of my own age.
3. I will be faithful to the ministry that God has called me to. I will not slack off or nonchalantly complete tasks. I will give my best effort and do all that I can in do well with what He has given me. I will pour into my messages. I will read countless articles in how to assess ministry, equip leaders, and build good structures. I will constantly keep in contact with students. I will challenge my leaders and myself. I will continue to lead a small group and be open and honest with them in all aspects of life. I will do my best for God with the opportunities and talents He has given me.
4. God will win this battle daily as I trust in Him. His grace is keeps me going. Jesus is what keeps me focused. Love is what drives me forward even when I stumble. I will trust in God that He loves me, that He created me with incredible worth, and that I am beautiful in who I am as He created me. I may look weird to other people, but He finds me irresistible becomes He loves me.
So, goodbye sex addict. We’ve been close, but it’s time to part ways. You have only done harm to me. I want better. God will overpower you if you try and come back. He cares for me.
Not yours truly anymore,