Letter to myself:

Dear Sex Addict

You have been doing this far too long. You have alienated yourself from the church and from God. You are angry, distrusting, frustrated, easily agitated. You blame and God and the church for your problems. You no longer trust God and no longer read the Bible in fear that you might feel convicted. You have lied the past 10 years to yourself saying, ” I dont need God’s or anyone else’s help” Except you do. You are broken, sad, and lonely. You feel like a failure of man and you are scared you will ruin your relationships and marriage. You look down on yourself like you think other’s will when they find out. You walk around with a smile on your face when deep down, you have a dark spot clawing at you from the inside. This dark spot has controlled you time and time again. You waste your time alone in your room fantasizing and almost go through with them. You are stronger. You can defeat this. SEXUAL ADDICT you will be beaten. You will not have the last say in my life.

This is what I promise to do to save my life and those around me.

1. I will be completely honest with my accountability partners, my fiance, my parents, and my church with my struggles.

2. I will no longer lie, and when I do lie, I will tell the truth right away and make a mends for it

3. I will put my fiance/wife first and hold her dear. I will be the wall that does not allow others to get in.

4. I will go to a recovery group. I will go to a counselor at least once a week.

5. I will read my bible and meditate on God’s word DAILY!!!!

6. I won’t defeat this by myself, but with others and Christ I will overcome.

Letter from my sex addict:

You have been saying this over and over and over and over the past 10 years. You are weak! You have spent hours and hours of your days fantasizing. I have you in my hand. You are my puppet. You can’t escape my clutch. I will ruin you. I will ruin your marriage. I will ruin all of your relationships. You will always be mine and you will never escape. Youre apathetic. You need porn. You need that release. How could you not have it?! You’re a guy who has urges. But guess what!? Your kids will struggle. You’ll look at other girls and your wife will know. She will never fully trust you. She will never fully love you. You will always feel alone. You will lose your job. You will be disdained. HAHA how do you think you can escape?! GOd? Yeah right. You have tried that. Ill be waiting.