Letter to myself:
You have been addicted to porn for the longest time possible. maybe 10years? or more? gosh, can’t remember when this started. At first it started as the fear of being called a virgin. Then there was a guy whom you liked and was afraid you were inexperienced and wanted to learn a thing or two about sex. the pleasure came after an orgasm and since then it has been the hardest thing giving up. you’ve prayed so many times to stop this, you’ve attempted many times to give up watching porn. but every time you thought and attempted giving up there was the fear of relapsing, even as you are being this challenge you are afraid of relapsing. lets not forget the fear of separation from God, the fear that your addiction will make him turn his face away from you, feeling worthless and unredeemable no matter how much you read his word and see that he loves you. Dear porn addict self you are afraid that if you quit watching porn you don’t have anything that gives you pleasure in life. you are longing for love from a guy and you are just afraid you will never find it. Dear self you are afraid you can’t give up porn, you are afraid you cannot stop, you are afraid of worthlessness, you are afraid of loneliness, you are afraid! fear has driven you for a long time.
Letter from my sex addict:
Yes, I am afraid, yes fear drives me, yes I feel worthless and lonely and think I cannot stop. But I’m going to try, I promise. I will not allow fear hinder me. I will walk closely with God, daily reading my bible. He is able to defeat sin, nothing is too big for him. So I promise I will do my best with Help from God. I know it’s not gonna be easy. But I’m gonna pray from strength and grace from god at least three times a day. I’m gonna ask him to help me deal with my fears, I’m gonna trade my addiction for the freedom he has offered me, for his love.