Letter to myself:

Hey there champ. It sure has been a long time, huh- 5 years.

…Listen, this ain’t gonna be easy, but it’s possible. Here’s the thing though, you gotta be committed,and being committed is more complicated then it seems. It’s not just buying a site blocker, or leaving your computer out in the living room at night. It’s facing fear.

I know you pretty well- you should know that though. I know that what you’re facing has insurmountable fears associated with it. You could lose so much with just a slip in timing, or a loss of self control. You fear that you wil never escape- never claim victory. You fear that what is happening is putting an irrevocable barrier between you and God. Perhaps most scathing is the though that you will lose Christine if she ever finds out, and you’re still in sin.

So,with all that said, what is the logical next step? To sit there, and monitor your habits some more? To just think about what you might be able to do to fix what you’ve broken? No.

You fight it off Matthew. You get with the Bible and pray, and- wait…

We, my friend, will fight it off. You, me, and, most importantly, God. Your fight starts with facing fear, and is sustained with truth. So you get to praying and reading bub, cuz that’s the only way you ever defeat this.

For good.

Now and forever, amen.

Letter from my sex addict:

Hey Matt, long time no see.

Listen, I’ve got some pretty gobstopping issues I’m working through right now.

I’m so afraid to lose everything, and it’ll be all my fault if it happens… but I can’t run with or from it anymore. I can’t just monitor and make plans to fight. I just. need.

To Go.

Starting today I fight this addiction with all I’ve got. I face my fears, and bark them back down. I get with God and tell him that I’m ready to fight.

…And then we go.