Letter to myself:

Birdie. Roberta. Berts. Robertalyn.

You are a fearfully and wonderfully made woman. You are wise, you possess a power and authority to speak into the lives of those nearest to you, as well as your community, your nation and the world.

You have a voice that God has given you in order to testify about His work in your life. Your purpose is to be an empty vessel that will help set the captives free, the one who will open your mouth so that the Holy Spirit can speak life back into the valley of dry bones.

You have already given God a year at Bible College to re-awaken the dreams and desires you carry, and for God to show you that through Him all of your dreams are possible! Why? Because he knows them, because before you even thought or dreamt them up, God was the one who had placed them into your heart. Every longing you have, God has placed there.

So why is there a need to write this letter? Because of sin. You were born, live in and will die in a world that has been violated by sin and by the devil. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” If the latter weren’t true, everything that I said in the previous paragraph would be true, and you would be able to attain every desire and plan and dream and longing that God has for you. However, for the previous paragraphs to also exist, it reminds you that there is a battle going on between light and darkness.

Even though you have been freed from the dark and called out of it into light, so that you would do the same for others, the dark is strong and dominates this world. And like I said before, you were born from it. That is why we don’t get things we want straight away, and why God is patient in granting us things. What good would it be to hand over the world to a sick and broken vessel? You would crack, and be destroyed. YOU WOULD CRACK! AND BE DESTROYED!!

Then what would be the point? Of everything Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit did. What would it have all been for?

But God has a plan! For he “so loved the world, that he gave his one and only son, that whoever might believe in him would not perish, but have life and life in eternal.” YOU are the world, you are from it, and God gave away his only son to die so that you MIGHT come to believe in Him.

And you have, and you will never know how much God rejoiced over that moment, until you meet him one day. He pulled you from the world so that you would live in it, but no longer be a PART OF IT! Set free indeed. Amen.

But there is one who will never be set free from it, because he chose such a fate, and that is the devil. He runs this false kingdom we were born into, not from choice, but because God no longer wanted to have a part with him. He was cast out of God’s presence, and as a result will stop at NOTHING to ensure that you are cast out as well.

But he knows the creator, and knows that no matter how many times you and the world stuff up, God will welcome you home like the prodigal daughter you are, which is why he targets your ‘humanity’. That part of you that was created and drawn from the dust of the earth itself. It’s from this very substance that the devil tries to manipulate and disfigure you, where he seeps in and torments you with his lies.

It’s the only area where he can influence, and for you Birdie, that’s exactly where he’s snuck in and tortured you the most. Right from the moment you were born, to this very moment. Even as this letter is being written, he is standing at the door, enticing you to dance with him once more. It is he who is filling your head with the doubt, telling you this is a joke and that it won’t work. Telling you that you might as well give up and keep on playing with him and yourself.

BUT YOU ARE MADE IN THE IMAGE OF THE CREATOR, THE DIVINE AND THE INDESCRIBABLE GOD HIMSELF!! And this God does not know how to loose or give in, SO NEITHER WILL YOU! For you are more than just a conqueror, but you will RISE and defeat this sin and the devil! YOU WILL THROW PORNOGRAPHY AND MASTURBATION BACK IN HIS FACE and laugh as you walk away victorious with Jesus at your side.

YOU WILL! IN JESUS NAME YOU WILL…. You must. There are consequences for sin, no doubt. And I believe that if you continue down the path you are walking… it will lead to death. Of a dream, of God’s desire for you.

Fight, Birdie. Fight it, beat it and kick it. I have faith.

– From Robertalyn

Letter from my sex addict:

Thank you. For giving me hope.

It is small, and I fear even smaller than a mustard seed. But it is there, and it wont let go that easy. It’s scary, because I can feel my body itching for me to give in. I gave in last night, but just before I climaxed, I heard my Spirit cry out. It felt sick. It was heartbroken that I had chosen to give in yet again. Because I had just come back form 2 weeks of being filled from God and declaring that I was set free.

And I heard my Spirit, but I continued to watch porn and masturbate. The guilt, humiliation and shame weighs down on me so heavily that I actually feel suffocated. I feel spiritually suffocated. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep living with myself. If I don’t do something now about it, I will end up walking away from God.

Giving up eternal life for a temporary life of sin. I can’t believe this is all coming from me. But it’s true, which is why I need help. God’s help.

I have hope, and it will turn into a tangible faith and belief in Jesus my saviour. AND I WILL KICK THIS! I will kick it and the devil in the face.

JESUS CHRIST WILL DEFEAT YOU DEVIL!! He always will, always.
And he fights for me.