Letter to myself:

I appreciate your letter. Your honesty is commendable. I suffered for so long. And I began to wonder if freedom was truly apprehendable. I fasted and fasted and fasted because God wanted my purity. But I’ve also had to pray without ceasing, because you wouldn’t leave me be. But before I begin to judge you, let me first be clear. I never asked for the life you’ve lived. I thought it was ok when you first appeared. We got what we wanted but it costed us our life, and the lives of others. I didn’t realize we were messing up the minds of daughters and soon to be mothers. The problem was we were to busy trying to screw them when we should have left well alone. Pornography only exacerbated the problem. Never getting to the root of the unknown…sins. I really don’t have much more to say. I’m ready to move on. You’ve had your way, you’ve gone astray, best believe I won’t mourn…the loss. It’s time to jump ship and chase after my true purpose and dreams. I can’t do this with you anymore. All you’ve done is choke the seeds. So goodbye my enemy. And know that you won’t be missed. I’ve experienced enough betrayal. The same as when Jesus got kissed. But He died for me so you wouldn’t be the cause of my eternal death. For that I’m thankful indeed. Let this day mark the date of your funeral. The person you are is someone I don’t need.

Letter from my sex addict:

Hey you. Or perhaps I should say goodbye. It’s best that I no longer be a hindrance, continuing to add to a lie. I guess I just couldn’t help but be me, but please know that I tried to set you free. I wanted to be like you but the more I tried to pursue, the more I found ways to screw up the plan. So please understand I never meant to hurt you, but I did. You already knew what contributed to my mentality. I just didn’t think that it would contribute to hypofrontality. Sometimes I didn’t know if I was the one crying inside or if you were the one that was crying inside. Sin felt good, maybe too good, but it was too bad. History repeated itself with me, but it ends with you. I’m all you’ve known for the last 20 years, so I’m sure it’ll be difficult to see yourself in a fuller view. But know your potential is great, you’ll accomplish more than I could do. In so many ways I held you back and all the choices were mine. I just wanted what I couldn’t have and was tired of standing in line. It was selfish and non-prudent to think that I could continue on with this lifestyle. I now see why I was always so mean. Pornography is an addictive drug. And I couldn’t seem to get enough dopamine…to satisfy my pleasures without checking to see if I was preventing God’s treasures. But now I see that I must die. Cause if I don’t, you won’t be able to fly. Say hello to your future wife for me. Matter of fact I hope she see’s that I never existed. But if you ever decide to tell her about the trouble I caused, I hope that she doesn’t get things twisted. I’m my own individual, sick and shameful through and through. I’m no different from millions of others, whose lust has led them to…a fantasy world where we can have our way. One that won’t go away without the click of a button. But go and leave me be, please. My time is up. There’s a better life to live. Mine is way too corrupt. Live long and strong. And don’t ever look back. 2015 is here now, Pornography and masturbation will only take you off track. Always see yourself as a winner. God desires to give you more. I’ll never hurt you again. Now that you know old ways can’t open new doors.