Hey I’m writing this letter to let you know that i have been thinking about you. Not to get your hopes up, but maybe a little. I’ve been thinking about you and your struggles. I’ve been patient and unfortunately hurt by your lack of action. You have created and environment that is not conducive to proper expression, healing and growth. I know i know you’ll hide behind pain (emotional and physical) fear and the shit you’ve been dished in life. Well old chap will agree that you’ve been given the short end of the stick and you have keept your wits about you for the reasons of survival, self preservation in the hopes that things will get better. The FAITH. But like most thing without action it is dead.
You’ve caused me great harm. Great harm. I’m not happy that you were discarded as a child, then sent off to be somewhere foreign. Upon your return you have been found to be pacified by someone that is living in fear. Teaching you to be held back in the name of safety and lack of progress. The truth is that you ware oppressed. I will help you liberate yourself.
You’ve been throwing sticks in my sprockets. I’ve know that this was wedge in my life, not just my faith. Ive tried explaining to youth importance based on faith but now you’ve gone beyond that nd have influenced my day to day. If i didn’t you’d be a me up with images and is i did you’d guilt me and ma me think that blessing where passing me bye because of it. I found you to be a liar. There are a multitude of blessings that have done nothing but follow me.
As to your interactions with other people. I’m surprised, shocked, saddened. I’m understanding that your expectations of what you have now is not what you think you want. But what you want is based on something that i not truly genuine. Its produced. The people are faking and in pain. And the ones you where with where also under the same impression. you’d make love and they’d ask you to love them. In return you re asking the same of them inside without feel in fully satisfied. This i jut adding more to my confusion in which direction i should go. So i’m taking that choice away from you.
I’m taking steps to take control of this behavior. i’m pursuing a better way of reacting to you.
i’m sacrificing the freedom i enjoyed because you abused them . I’m going to places and meeting people who are ready to help me, and already are helping me. I’ve to admit that it is not an easy road. there are hick ups, but there are fewer of them. I’ve even come to the conclusion that i would be willing to give up my family to get you better. I almost come to that resolve on how much it would take. I’m ok with it. Anything to get you better.