Letter to myself:
Dear Porn Addict,
It seems like I’ve known you all my life. I remember first seeing scenes of female heroes in cartoons and movies when I was very young. I didn’t know what I was feeling, but I knew it felt good.
As I got older, I would roam bookstores, looking a salacious covers and skimming paperbacks looking for “good scenes.”
Then the computer revolution hit., and with it, the internet. Suddenly, someone who would have been way too shy to go to an adult book store or by an adult magazine had access to all the porn he could want. Thanks to sleazy bulletin boards and, later web sites., you had me. Since I couldn’t find someone in the real world, and this could cater to my particular fetish, I fell for your lies and false promises.
Thank to you I
several thousands of dollars,
Lost my (electrical) power when I couldn’t pay the bill
damn near got evicted, .
virtually had a nervous break down and had to move back in with my parents,
But I’m done with you now.
I know I’ve tried to quit before. Many times before. But recently, it has been different. Even When I try to go back to you, I can’t stick around like I used to. I’m disgusted by you. I’m disgusted that I could want those things anymore. I feel compelled to erase whatever I’ve downloaded and quit all over again.
But this time will be different. I think the Holy Spirit has flipped a switch in me and changed part of my heart. Now, with the Gods help, I hope to make a complete change.
I’m a better person now. I don’t need you. I may want you, but I know you are no good for me. I’m am going to stick to a program. I am going to do what I am asked, and I am going to get, and stay clean.
I’m sick of viewing women as objects of lust. I’m sick of feeling like every women can see through me and can see the perversions that I carry. I’m sick of being broke. I’m sick of driving myself into debt. I’m sick of being alone. I’m sick of hiding. I’m sick of being sick and ready to be well.
Goodbye Addiction. I am not going to let you control my life anymore.
Letter from my sex addict:
What have you been up to? I aint seen you around lately. I bet a bunch of the girls have been asking about you, You know they miss you. Miss your money, that is. You never had a girl friend, but you always had them. Whenever you wanted, just click the MP4 file ant there they are. Remember when you had an external HD with over 600GB of Porn. Remember when you spent over $100 on subscriptions to websites to get more. Good times. Good times.
You not thinking of leaving me are you. I know you’ve tried that before, and it never worked. Sure you’d last a day or two, but you were always back. Remember that time you had that great “Porn Purge.”. you threw out a garbage bag filled with video tapes, compact discs, printed material. and then you erased it all from your hard drive besides. Less then 24 hours later, you were standing at the dumpster, seriously contemplating going in after it. (I’m surprised you didn’t). But instead, you bought it all back and made the collection even bigger than before. How much did that cost you? Remember buddy, as long as you have credit cards, you have Porn.
Now you think you’re going to leave.. Yeah, I’ve heard that before. “Oh, this time will be different. This time I have God on my side. The “holy spirit” has “flipped a switch in my heart” “. Bullshit. You;ll never leave me. And do you know why. Because you need me,. that’s why. You have no girl friend , never had one, and never will have.one. Without me, you have no outlet whatsoever. No sex, No dreams, No love. Nothing. You’ll burst without me.
So why are you even wasting your time. Take off those adult filters, whip out that credit card, and start subscribing to our favorite web sites. I know you want to, and I’m going to keep bugging you untill you do.
I know you curious. I know what you want. I’ve known you longer than you even realize.
You can’t quit me. I’m not going anywhere.
Your Porn Addiction.