Dear sex addict,
It’s over.
I am sick and tired of living my life feeling empty, alone, guilty and dirty. I am tired of going to church and singing praises to Jesus and then coming home and falling back into the sick addiction that has taken control of my life for way to long. I’m sick of looking at myself in the mirror and only seeing a worthless woman who is dirty and soiled. I am tired of the many lonely nights I have spent crying myself to sleep because I can’t defeat you but I want to so desperately. I am tired of you turning my once healthy, Christ based relationship with my boyfriend into a sex filled mess.
I have REDISCOVERED a new addiction and His name is Jesus Christ. I have known him since I was a child. I have heard and read about His great love for me but in the chaos and filthiness of you I have lost sight that I am His child and that I am loved by Him. I don’t need you to make me feel “good.” I no longer need your dirty images and videos filling my head. For far too long you have plagued my life. You have robbed my mind of pure, wholesome images and filled it with images so vulgar and disgusting that many times after viewing them I have felt too lost to be saved. But now I am free. I am taking a huge step and I am leaving you. I should have done this long ago. I am going to live a life that glorifies my Lord and Savior. I am going to wake up in the morning and start my day off by spending time with God. I am going to go to bed at night slowly drifting off to sleep while talking to Him. I am going to read the Bible cover to cover. I am going to arm myself with God’s word that way if you try to sneak back into my life I will be ready to fight. I am not going to give up.
No longer will I wake up and have the urge to look at porn. No longer will I have the urge to catch a quick video before I go to sleep. When I am with my boyfriend I will no longer give into doing things that are reserved for a married couple. I am done with all of that. I am taking back my life and I am giving it back to Jesus. The one who loves all of me. Despite all of my mistakes, all of my problems and all of my failures He loves me and wants to be with me. You may think that there is no way that I can stay away from you, that your hold on me is too strong. But I am writing this to you to prove you wrong. We are done. I no longer need or want you in my life. My heart completely belongs to Jesus and that is where it is going to stay.