Letter to myself:
Old Jerikah,
You know you don’t have to be like this forever. You know you don’t have to. You know the truth of it – that it’s a destruction disguised in lust and seduction. That in every moment it leaves you guilty and dirty and sinful.
You know you have a choice. And I know you need Someone/something to get you out of this. This isn’t some bad habit that can be undone by your own willpower – it’s a process. Maybe, a lifelong training to battle and eventually permanently remove it out of your system. But it’s not impossible. 🙂
I just want you to know that there is hope. The times of shame, fear, guilt and pain because of this addiction is OVER. Freedom in Jesus is yours and yours to have and celebrate forever! He will never give up on you nor leave you alone in this battle. 🙂
Letter from my sex addict:
I know I don’t have to be like this forever. I know I don’t have to. But at some point, in a way, I wanted it to. As shameful as it may sound, it’s true.
Before I even got the fear of this sin being known about me, I feared recognition. I feared of getting involved with people and situations too much because it invades my private place. I was a happy loner – or so I thought. Until in my private times, the idea of porn was revealed to me somewhere. I never knew what is was called then but i felt enticed and attracted by it. Long before I even noticed, I was already addicted to it. Then it became the reason I feared going out.
I feared being known to be addicted to porn as I am a Christian – or so I thought. But what can I do? Every time I take a step out to reach out, much less ask for help, I receive this feeling of rejection, that porn is a sin to be hated and disregarded as struggle than needs to be faced and fought. The thing is, no one really knows how much I struggle with this addiction. Maybe because I never knew how to explain it or never had the courage to, or sometimes I just felt that no one really cared to know or even bother to help. And so I’m stuck with it.
I know there’s hope. But I can’t see it. All I know is I need Someone/something to get me out of this. I need help.